All wet t-shirt contest
No, it’s not what you think. First, take a look at this USA Today feature on Hollywood leftists who are marketing political t-shirts:
Celebrities are wearing T-shirts that make political statements or that urge young people to get out and vote. USA TODAY’s Karen Thomas looks at Hollywood’s election-year style:
Ashley Judd
The De-Lovely star is a fan of the Step Up Women’s Network (news – web sites) dedicated to strengthening resources for women. Judd appears in the August Marie Claire sporting a shirt by the group that asks, “Think fashion makes a statement?” on the front and “Try voting. 11.02.04″ on the back. $20 at A/X Armani Exchange stores.
Jack Black (news)
The School of Rock star has made his political leanings clear at several recent Hollywood events by wearing a custom-made T-shirt supporting Democratic candidate John Kerry (news – web sites). He ordered up two created by friend Audrey Roberts and wore one to the MTV Movie Awards on June 5. $20 at www.audmatic.com.
Russell Simmons
The Hip-Hop Team Vote folks teamed with Sex and the City (news – web sites) costumer Patricia Field for a sassy new Let’s Vote! tank top. Cynthia Nixon and Kelly Ripa both wear them. $24 at patriciafield.com…
Etc. I’m inviting readers to leave their suggested t-shirt slogans for their favorite stars. I’ll start:
ASHLEY JUDD: If my mom practiced what I preach, I wouldn’t be here. THREE CHEERS FOR FEMINISM!
Ok, you can do better than that. 
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Categories: Hollyweird, John Kerry
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Kelly Ripa: Vapid Voter for Kerry!
For the right-wing crowd:
“Keep celebrities out of politics!*”
*exceptions: Reagan, Heston and the Terminator.
Front of t-shirt: I barely squeaked out of high school, have never read a book all the way through, and play dress-up for a living…
Back of t-shirt: But you should listen to my political opinions!
Barbara Streisand: “Iraqi’s didn’t bring me flowers, I don’t think we should be giving them freedom”
Alec Baldwin: “I never left America like I said I would and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.”
Michael Moore
“If you can read this, you’re within three miles of me.”
For Michael Moore – “End world hunger”
For celebrities in general:
“I’m a celebrity – trust me!”
or
“Critical thinking not required”
or
“I wear my politics on my sleeve and my brains in my pants.”
Tee shirt for any celebrity – Homer Simpson, is there anything he doesn’t know?
For Michael Moore:
Front – Bush LIED!!!!
Back – But I tell the truth!
Alt. Back – Trust me on this one.
For the Left:
Front – Political Tourette’s* is not a syndrome . . .
Back – It’s a hobby!
Alt. Back – It’s a skill!
Both backs with a collage of “Bush LIED!!!!”, “No Blood for Oil”, “Halliburton!”, “Won’t somebody think of the children?!?”, etc.
*http://www.theartoftheblog.com/the_art_of_the_blog/archives/001137.php
Martin Sheen – “It’s just a @#$%ing part!!!”
Alec Baldwin – “Canada didn’t want me, either.”
Sean Penn – “Saddam’s Best Friend”
Al Franken: Will insult Republicans for food.
–”"For the right-wing crowd:
–”Keep celebrities out of politics!*”
–*exceptions: Reagan, Heston and the Terminator.”"
Why is it that left-wing celebrities presume to tell people how to vote, while right-wing celebrities earn people’s votes?
Front of shirt: I pee on everything you stand for.
Back of shirt: Spend lots of money on my movie.
Ozzy Osborne: Vote now before your brain falls apart. I’d vote too if I was coherent and sober.
(for Democrats from St. Louis)
Vote early and vote often!
Paris Hilton’s t-shirt:
“John Kerry: More positions than me”
Ted Kennedy:
Front – Vote for Kerry,
Back – or I’ll drive you home!
My favorite candidate t-shirt spoof was from the ‘96 presidential election. It stole the logo from the Dole/Kemp and in place of the names had Roll/Hemp. Seen on Neil Young…
As for current suggestions, I would like to see one for a particular party that says “Kill babies, not trees.” Many stars could wear that one.
Barbara Striesand: “Shut up and sing what??”
Hollywood: Putting the red in red white and blue.
To borrow a line from Dr. Frank:
“We car [sic] about our world!”
Sean Penn.
Front:I don’t just play retarded.
Back. I really am!
(Arrow pointing up) I’m with stupid
Susan Sarandon.
Front:My breasts are real. My views are not.
MIchael Moore. This billboard space for rent.
Osama Bin Laden: Vote Kerry 2004
Like She Said
“It Does Take A Village” …
to feed Michael Moore.
Front: Anybody But Bush!
Back: (Anything But a Brain)
Michael Moore:
“If you can read this,
I haven’t started eating yet”
Front of shirt. John Kerry. FLIP
Back of shirt. John Kerry FLOP
Michael Moore. Where there’s food. There’s me.
Michael Moore.
Fooling
All
The
Sorry
Oafs
Winona Ryder – Don’t let Bush steal another election!
Any celebrity:I’m not a smart person. I just play one on TV.
Rosie O’ Donnell:
I hate George.
But I love bush.
Barbra Streisand:
Front: Take my picture…
Back: And I’ll sue you, too!
All celebrities:
- I MISS COMMUNISM
- EVERYTHING I SAY IS SCRIPTED
- WHO DO I HAVE TO SCREW TO GET BLACKLISTED AROUND HERE?
- DEFENSIVE MARRIAGE ACT
- ACT SMART
- I VOTE WITH MY TITS
- VOTE FOR KERRY! CUT
- MOORE-ON DOT ORG
- DIPLOMAS? WE DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ DIPLOMAS!
- CHENEY… LON CHENEY
- PLAN 9-11 FROM OUTER SPACE
- SEND BUSH DIRECT TO VIDEO
- WHAT’S “FARENHEIT” MEAN?
- RIEFENSTAHL, EISENSTEIN, MOORE
etc.
John Kerry …
Front: I voted for it …
Back: … before I voted against it.
Al Gore: Half of America voted for me.
Half got it wrong.
Sean Penn: I’ve smelled Iraq
and Madonna smells worse.
Zarqawi: All your grandchildren will be Muslim.
Lou Dobbs: Exporting America is a sinister, evil Bush plot.
Isolationism rules!
T-shirts for any left-wing celebrity:
Front:
Freedom Is Precious
Back:
Why Waste It on Iraqis?
Front:
Peace on Earth
Back:
At Any Price
Front:
Guns Kill
Back:
So Beware My Bodyguard
Front:
I Love GIs
Back:
If They’re Cute
(suitable for either gender, in Hollywood)
Front:
Bush and Ashcroft Are Fascist Pigs
Back:
So Why Am I Still Walking Around Wearing This Stupid T-shirt?
Madonna: (front) “W” don’t preach.
(back) That’s for me.
P.S. I love it when you “open up the phone lines” Michelle.
Actually, I just had a shirt made for the Museum of Left Wing Lunacy. I’ll be wearing this at the Hannity freedom concert. If you are there, and see this shirt, feel free to say hi
The front has a pic of Ted Kennedy, Al Franken, Al Gore, and Michael Moore-on on the Front. Above them it says ” THE GANG’S ALL HERE!” At the bottom it says “THE MUSEUM OF LEFT WING LUNACY.COM” I’m betting it turns some heads. Take a look.. http://www.themuseumofleftwinglunacy.com/Lunacyshirt.htm
Michael Moore:
[Front] Stop bothering me with facts
[Back] I have too much on my plate
ASHLEY JUDD:
Kill the unborn, Not terrorists!
Michael Moore
Front:
I hate Bush, America, Capitalism, Optimism, Democracy, and Republicans
Back:
I hate you too
Because of George W. Bush, I lost my job, my home, and my two sons were killed in an unjust war. Stop the madness. Vote Kerry.
-Saddam Hussein
Richard Gere
Front: “Free Tibet!”
Back: “And while you’re at it, see what you can do about this gerbil…”
(Like you, I have no idea what that means.)
For John Kerry: “Don’t you know who I am?”
For Michael Moore:
Front: Goodyear
Back: no slogan, just print the entire Oxford English Dictionary (trust me, it’ll fit!)
Michael Moore:
Front:
Need a reason why I think Amercans are idiots?
Back:
I’ll give you millions $$$
rightwing duck gets my vote:
John Kerry – Flip
John Kerry – Flop
Too great! Well done! =)
Dixie Chicks (Three shirts):
Not – wise – er
For Tom Daschle:
Front: Bush stole the election in Florida!!!!
Back: while I was registering dead Indians.
For Bill Clinton:
Front: WhiteWater, Los Alamos, ChinaGate, Ruby Ridge, Rose Law Firm Billing Records, Waco, Buddhist Temple, Elian Gonzalez, Paula Jones, FBI lists..
Back: And you thought I only lied about sex.
Front:
Help support the Democratic Party!
Back:
…Because Rapists, Murderers, Thieves, and Traitors Need Love Too!
Government of the Prople, by the Democrats, for the Democrats…Just the way he Founding Fathers intended!
Front: Pictures of Governor Wallace, Sandy Bull, and CSA President Jackson
Back: Vote Democrat…Like Us!
Michael Moore:
“I beat anorexia”
“Teddy drank, MaryJo sank!”
“My favorite Dictator killed tens of thousands of his own people before they were liberated and all I got was this stupid T-shirt!”
TOP TEN REASONS WHY HOLLYWOOD LOVES FIDEL
1. Wore camo before camo was cool.
2. Knows how to use a cigar, just like Clinton.
3. Puts his political opponents in prison. Where they belong.
4. No Rush Limbaughs in Cuba!
5. Still believes in communism. But drives a Mercedes.
6. Hates Bush almost as much as we do.
7. Only one political party allowed. And it ain’t the Republican Party!
8. Free medical care for everyone. Does that include plastic surgery?
9. Sends AIDS patients to special “camps.” Free of charge!
10. Keeps everyone in Cuba so thin. What’s his secret?
For any celeb…
(front)We liberals believe in tolerance, that all opinions should be respected, and that everyone should think for themselves.
(back)So vote Democrat, or you’re a stupid, heartless, bigoted, Nazi homophobe!!!
The Crux of the Democratic/Liberal Agenda:
A quote from Marx! (Groucho. In ‘Duck Soup’)
Front of T-Shirt:
“If you the the country’s bad off now
Back of T-Shirt:
Just wait ’til I get through with it!”
Michael Moore:
The French think Jerry Lewis and I are geniuses!
Front: Dissent is Patriotic
Back: Unless it’s against Liberals
Front: “Bush Is Hitler!”
Back: “(Your public education tax dollars at work.)”
Ted Kennedy’s shirt:
A Blonde In Every Pond!
Picture of Barbara Streisand and Michael Moore together.
People. People who eat people.
Michael Moore. My other shirt is a circus tent.
John Kerry
Front: I Was In Vietnam
Back: So Was My Hair
I’m conservative. If you honestly believe that means I can’t also be an intellectual, you can bite my butt.
Kerry Front:
Did I tell you I served in ‘Nam?
Kerry Back:
For Four Whole Months!
Here’s one for (fill in the blank with any well-endowed female leftist celeb):
If These Were Clues
Andy Serkis (Gollum):
Front: (smiling) I voted FOR the $87 Billion…
Back: (scowling) …before I voted against it!
AWG offered a shirt about libs and tolerance . . . beautiful! Funny and on point.
BTW – check out
http://www.cafeshops.com/taotb
for some fun Kerry Flip/Flop shirts!
A shirt to wear whilst in Michael Moore’s company:
“And they say REPUBLICANS keep the Third World hungry?”
Or one for Babs: “Vote Kerry…or else I’ll do 19 more ‘Farewell’ concerts.”
PS- Michelle- You’re the best columnist out there- I’ve learned so much from you. Keep up the great work!
T-shirt for Al Gore:
Front:
Voting for Bush would be unconscionable
Back:
That means very bad
alGore:
Front: My lawyers went to Florida…
Back: …and all I got was this crummy T-shirt!
For any lefty in Hollywood:
We celebrities always stand behind America…It’s easier to stab it in the back.
Michael Moore–
Front:
The French people love me–
Back–
Because we both bathe once a month.
Dump Bush! Vote for Kerry November 3rd.
<Note to self: check calendar before commenting on Jimbo’s t-shirt slogan>
Thanks, McGehee. I was hoping it wouldn’t be lost on everyone since I didn’t explain it. Probably should be more like:
Front: Dump Bush! Vote for Kerry November 3rd.
Back: Attention Republicans. Election day is November 2nd.
Ted Kennedy:
front: Iraq War cooked up in Texas!
back: Take it from a family that knows a little something about back-room political corruption!
For Ted K.
-
front: Dude!
(graphic of Teddie – XL shirts only)
back: Where’s my car?
(graphic of THAT car being pulled out of the drink – you know the one)
—or—
front: Ted drives
back: Mary Jo dives
Front: “I’ll bet the Bush family doesn;t even speak French!”
-Theresa Heinz Kerry
back: Good for them!
Any generic celebrity’s shirt:
“LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I HAVE MORE MONEY THAN YOU DO AND CAN AFFORD TO HAVE YOU KILLED.”
Sean Penn:
“I went to the Middle East to use my social status to solve all of their problems and find out why my face boils water and kills owls…0 for 2…dammit…”
Ashley Judd:
“NOTE TO CONSERVATIVE MALES: Be guilt free! I am easily replaced in your sexual fantasies by Renee Zellweiger!”
Charleton Heston:
“Terrorists get a 10-second head start…I like a challenge.”
Michael Moore:
No.1
“I AM THE MOST INTELLECTUALLY ENGAGING PERSON THAT I HAVE EVER MET!”
No.2
“I AM SO IRRITATING THAT JIM JONES TOLD ME HE RAN OUT OF KOOL-AID!”
No.3
“I NEED THE HEALING POWER OF JESUS TO RIGHT MY WRONGS AND GIVE ME INNER PEACE.”
Any Celeb:
Front: Michael Moore says it, I believe it, ’nuff said.
Back: Elvis bought me this shirt.
Simple black T-shirt –
“Obey me for I am Famous”
For John sKerry:
Front: Bush is helping jobs move out of this country!
Back: Picture of Heinz Ketchup plant in Mexico.
For hollywood types:
I’m in touch with the common man!
Back (my servants are common people)
For Sean Penn:
Beeng faimus meens not halfing to say ure sorrie!
i have a bachlores degree in political science from the University of miami and i must say i owe alot of my initial interest in politics, philosphy and civil liberties research to 2pac shakur. In my eyes guys like 2pac are just what the inner city needs. He made it interesting to to investigate politcs, to study philisophers such as machiaveli and sun tzu.
when i would hear pac talk about these people as a young teen i would look to see who he was talking about. Getting inner city youths to read political Philosophy is something unheard of. Keep in mind that i was a high school drop out who after spending most of my teen years in gangs changed for the better. “I came up the hard way” with a god damn GED i made it this far and im not done yet. i can whole hartedly say 2pac was very influential in my life.
Yes he did praise violence but he was more than that. he spoke on Machiaveli, named his rap group after the enemies of the united states, spoke about the black panthers and political prisoners in his songs. All these things are part of our political culture and history yet ironically they are not given much attention in school text books, because they are what some would deem “too contraversial”. So for her to say that 2pac is garbage is absolute blashpemy!!!
As far as Michele, she is a minority in this country yet she applauds the current republican party and their agenda. A party who over the course of the decades has come to symbolize and cater to the elite. Last time i checked China Town was a getto just like where the rest of us minorties live.. Im sure you all know the phrase “unlcle tom” or the words malcom x colorfully used, “house nigger”, Malkin clearly fits the bill.
some people just never touch with their reality. her reality isnt the same as say george w. bush, yet she yearns to emulate the rich white men that run this country….. she desperatley needs to revaluate her self and her values..As far as her works, it’s funny that i have never heard of her in all my time as a student of literature and the arts. It seems to me she is using 2pacs name as a publictiy stunt. So basically shes like the Chino Xl of journalist, just diss an MC and hope for some sales.
Ever wondered why their is such emphasis on a summer book list anyway???? Maybee the fact that huge cutbacks since Bush took office have lead many school districts to cut summer school. Its really easy to pick on a dead person. Why doesnt she go after Bush, the Miltary industry, and their war hawk lobbists for syphoning all our funds away from, heres a big one EDUCATION!!!!
if i took anything as a whole away from 2pac and his message was to be your self, be proud of who you are and defend your culture with all of your soul.. Malkin, You dont have to pretend to be someone u arent in order to be sucsessfull. So go have fun on the O’riely Factor sucking up to yet another stupid rich white guy!!!