Dem convention follies
This will be a continually updated file on the best of the worst of the Democratic National Convention’s freaks, flubs, and follies. Feel free to leave your nominations.
7/26 Edition.
“What liberal media?” moment of the day: From Spoons, CNN engages in some wishful thinking with its characterization of Carter, Clinton, and Gore as a “trio of former Presidents. Screenshots here.
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7/25 Edition.
Most offensive quote from an anti-war activist. From Medea Benjamin, a “peace campaigner” from San Francisco, objecting to the gated demonstration area outside of Fleet Center: “”We don’t deserve to be put in a detention centre, a concentration camp.” This is a concentration camp, ninny. Now, go stand in a corner and grow some shame.
Biggest letdown for conservative Star Wars fans. Natalie Portman in a John Kerry t-shirt.
Most enticing photo for a caption contest. This pic of actors Ben Affleck, Amber Tamblyn, and Danny Glover at a pre-convention event:
I’ll start: Danny Glover holds up the number of people who saw Gigli.
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Categories: 2004 campaign, John Kerry
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Not just any John Kerry t-shirt. A John Kerry hearthrob t-shirt.
They just don’t get it. Willing to do anything to advance their extremist, fringe politics they’ll even insult and insult the millions of people who suffered in concentration camps.
That’s some “peace campaigner.”
That is depressing. Portman had previously displayed some strong anti-idiotarianite tendencies.
Natalie Portman:
I will never look at her the same way again.
Natalie come back into the light. Socialism can only end up like France and Canada.
That’s just it…
She’s still under the impression that each were a success…
One nice thing about Medea Benjamin, though: She takes her politics seriously.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/040724/480/rsb10107241612
“grow some shame.”
Love that line.
Eh. On Sunday The New York Times admitted it’s a left-leaning newspaper, and Cokie Roberts admitted on TV that the mainstream broadly opposes partial-birth abortion.
If you’d asked me on Saturday, I would have said that the odds of either one of those events happening would be much smaller than say, Ted Kennedy walking out on stage at the convention during broadcast coverage with his pants down and a martini in his hand, shouting “George Bush is a f___ing b__stahd!”, and then peeing his pants. Also much less likely than Bill Clinton getting caught by a NY Post photographer making out with an undeclared transvestite blonde.
The Times and Cokie incidents seem to suggest that Kismet is on our side this week. Cross your fingers and hope for more favorable freak happenings.
The number of actors the Democrats hope for in the next photo op.
Don’t tell us such sad things about Natalie Portman, we always thought it was her attractive movie character that was far-out. Apparently it is her personal character that is vacuous. She’s still babolicious, though.
On a serious note, Natalie was born in Israel. She should have better sense than to think that John Kerry will do anything other than follow France’s lead and kiss Yassir “Arabfat’s” behind.
“Now watch as I pull a thread the size of John Kerry’s backbone out of my closed fist over here.”
Danny Glover is actually commenting on the amount of blackness in Colin Powell, in his estimation.
Or maybe its his estimation of how people are without health care in Cuba.
Wow…Ben and Amber are really committed…
Look they only listen with their left ears.
I think I might just fly to Boston, get me a nice commfy lawn chair and a nice cold beer, ’cause this ought to be a good dirty and nasty fight. liberal blowhards against liberal blowhards
What Danny Glover had to say about Kerry: He says it’s this big, but really, I saw it, and it’s only this big.
Danny Glover explaining how to bring together the “hate Bush” and the “Bush is satan” constituents into Kerry’s all inclusive I-am-not-Bush platform.
No wonder the cab driver wouldn’t stop for you!!
Ben Affleck thinking to himself: “Now that I sit back and actually listen for a moment, we really are full of crap.”
The actual number of white cab drivers left working in NYC,all whom have driven pass Mr Glover. Which the Kerry adminstration will hunt down and bring to justice.
Affleck wondering if he told Amber Talbilyn That she has a nice body …would she hold it against him?
Amber is confused. Why would Mr Glover take a taxi ? Why didn’t his agent arrange for Limo like that cool Hummer she took today.
…Eeeeee that creepy J- Lo guy is looking at my chest again…get over yourself Mr. Daredevil Raindeer Games . Don’t make me call Jenny on you ..tee hee.
Remedial Positive Message Workshop for Angry Dems: “This is how you smile. Try it.”
The Kerry Shirt should read “John Kerry: International Man of Mystery” Fitting in more ways than one.
Vice President Dick Cheney recently came under criticism for using a four-letter obscenity in an exchange with Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., on the Senate floor. He later was unapologetic about the remark, saying: “I felt better after I said it.”
Holy non sequitur, Batman!
Photo caption:
“In blatent defiance of Republican guidelines for sex education, Danny Glover shows a group of Catholic graduate students how to use a condom.”
Poor Ms. Portman…an Israeli born immigrant to the United States, she has been unwavering in her support for Israel and is now supporting a candidate and a party that will probably invite known terrorist (and man responsible for thousands of Jewish murders) Yasir Arafat back to the White House.
Danny describes with great zeal his extracurricular thrashings of Whoopi Goldberg on the set of “The Color Purple.”
danny says: “this is how much money the three of us are going to make this year if we assume the American movie going public will forget this moment”
honestly these three losers are the best the DNC could come up with?
I will say this about the ‘approved protest zone’: comparing it to a concentration camp is insulting to those who have survived them… but do look at the pictures of the protest zone. I think Michelle is being VERY kind in calling it a fortified gate. The place looks like a bunker, with fences lined with razor wire and concrete barriers. Conservative or liberal protestor, it looks like WAY too much. Incidentally, check out Day-By-Day’s Sunday strip for a nice commentary on it.
As for Danny Glover, possible captions:
‘Mr Glover eludicates on the more poigant aspects of Lethal Weapon 3′
‘Ben Affleck and Amber Tamblyn suddenly realized the true fall of the careers when they see themselves seated next to the star of Operation Dumbo Drop’
“When sewing yourself a banner calling Bush a Nazi, be sure to thread the needle correctly, like so…”
Right folks!!! Try to convince yourselves everyday with that. Right Ms Malkin????? hehehehe
Danny sez:”Our combined iq is 3.”
Photo caption: I could have saved three percent by using MCI to call a cab.
Dear Danny,
You are cordially invited to kiss my black, conservative culo. You old, punk-ass, has-been, wuz-been, intellectual slave negro.
At the level of a Walter “E” Williams or Dr. Thomas Sowell you ain’t.
Sincerely,
Beau…and I ain’t French!!
Natalie looks good in that shirt, and since there isn’t a conservative in the race; who care who is pictured on the front?
Glover: So after the premiere of this obvious piece of right-wing propaganda, I walked up to him, put my hands up like this and said, “Get off my boat, Riggs.”
I too am disappointed in Natalie Portman. As someone who ws born in Israel she ought to know that most of the Israel haters will be supporting Goerge Soros’ candidate – John F. Kerry.
I would expect the girl who plays the woman who marries the future Darth Vader to be a Kerry supporter.
Ben Affleck and Amber Tamblyn watch in bemusement as Danny Glover conducts his Intracranial Left Wing Moonbat Orchestra in a rousing rendition of “Let’s All Vote for John F. Notbush.”
Ben and Amber are in disbelief as Danny spills the truth saying, “If the rest of the country were to ever find out what the Democrats are truly about, we would have this much of a leg to stand on and have zero credibility. ZERO.”
With Danny Glover saying Simon Says: Tug on your right ear if you are far left wing Hollywood socialist extremist liberal nutjob
Famed Socialist Dialectician Danski Gloverstan, instructs the comrades in the finer points of Democratic Operational Party Effectiveness (D.O.P.E.), leading them in a playful yet informative round of “Lenin Says”:
G: “Lenin says cover your right ears, comrades!”
“Now, Lenin says left carefully for only party line with LEFT ear…”
sorry, should be “listen carefully”.
Sorry Danny. Terry didn’t say ‘Simon Says’. We’re still on ‘Simaon says grab your earlobe”.
Oops. Looks like David beat me to the Simon Says reference.
Danny: The itsy bitsy spider….
Ben Affleck & Amber Tamblyn practice their routine for the Olympic synchonized listening event while Danny Glover…uh…he…uh…hmmmmm. OK, I give up. Just what the h*ll IS he doing?!?!?!
Anticipating the election of John Kerry and the subjugation of all American policy to the UN, Danny Glover demonstrates how Americans will now have to talk like a Frenchman (in order to be liked and respected).
ANd down came the rain, and flushed the spider out. And do you know who’s fault that was? Bush! He violated that Spider’s rights. He knew, but he wanted that oil!
Ben. You would have been husband #3. You are such a sell out. See my new movie, Lethal Weapon 10.
Ben: Throwing out a little left handed, “hi boys” to the Boston bathhouse crowd.
Amber: Cutting edge fashion doll that she is. Those birth control glasses are perfect for an evening out with the “comfy shoe girls”. I figured Lisa Loeb had worn those damn glasses out mid-90’s.
Danny: Roach in right hand, “hey it’s okay, it’s the Democratic convention”.
“Okay, grab hold of your right ear REAL hard, and pull it off so you can’t hear ANYTHING from the RIGHT! Everything will be OKAY!”
Affleck & Tamblyn, thinking to themselves:
“Oh great, Danny thinks he’s a composer for the Boston Pops again.”
Person in audience…”Hey Lethal Weapon Guy, how many has beens are on stage?”
Caption : “You see, when you eat a rib, you hold it like this, and chmop down like that.”
Ben Assfleck and Amber Tamblyn intently gaze at Danny Glover who is trying to meticulously eat a hamberger. Unfortunately, the hamberger was stolen by the Hambergler (Sandy Pants Berger) who then stuffed it down his pants.
Ben Affleck: Ok ok… 3 words, what category was this? Oh, right Bush-hating. Ok, the first word has 1 syllable. Is it Bush? Yes I got it. Hey Amber, help me out here..
Amber: Hitler lied babies cried. No war for blood. Hitler Bush free Mumia. Or was it Hitler blood baby oil?
Re: Natalie Portman
Remember, this is the same actor that portrays a young woman who bears Darth Vader’s children…
Danny Glover: I remember when I was filming Lethal Weapon 3 with Mel Gibson. I says to him, “Melanie, I got a great idea, why not make a movie about Jesus?” Greedy Bastard stole my idea.
Amber thinks to self: Does this outfit make my ass look big? I knew I shouldn’t have eaten anything last week!
Ben thinks to self: Do these pants make my ass look big?
Danny thinks to himself: I probably got this far on affirmitive action. Bless the left.
“The American Dental Association recommends that you floss once a day. Just like this.”
Isn’t that sign language for @$$hole?
He’s probably just bashing Bush again.
Captions:
Ben: JLo, Gigli, now Glover and the democrats? How many more crap decisions must I make Matt to prove to you my love? Please save me from the hell Matt!
Amber: OK, Ben is coming off gay and Glover is playing charades; where are the real men?
Glover: I was this close to an Oscar, but the man keeps holding me down. Oh and vote for John Kerry, he was in Vietnam.
Re: Natalie Portman
Having Natalie Portman support John Kerry is as bad as Episode 1 and 2. Maybe she should be “Attacked by the Clones”. After seeing that T-shirt she became that much less attractive.
Having seen Portman flitting about Cambridge this comes as little shock. Very few people survive Harvard with their sanity intact.
No, no, no! Natalie Portman wasn’t wearing a Kerry shirt! It was all a hoax! See: http://www.inamays.com/comments.php?id=409_0_1_0_C
Danny: “This is the number of crappy movies Ben made in the past year.”
Amber: (thinking)”Wow. Don’t I look smart in these glasses. Now if I only had a copy of a Howard Zinn book, people would REALLY think I’m smart!”
Ben: (thinking)”Dude. Beer rocks. Dude. Red Sox rule. Beer still rocks. Ba ba da ba…’Myyy Sharona!!’Dude. Just sang in my mind. Weird.”
Corporate firewall settings mean I only see a red X for all of the pictures – and the thread is still funny. If I get the chance to post on this wonderful blog, I want to say “nuance never fed a family, solved a problem, kept anyone safe, made anything clearer, protected a country, set forth an agenda, nor convinced me to for anyone.” Is the photo full of “nuance”?
Caption: *conducting* ./~ I love you, you love me, let’s all vote for John Kerry… ./~
It’s an improvement on the tin-foil hat. You take this magical, invisible thread …
Caption:
“Oh, great, he’s telling his night life in Brooklyn story again…”
“…and then, three hookers came up to me…”
“Dems wary of ‘itsy bitsy tax hike’ campaign slogan proposed by Glover”
Caption: Actor Danny Glover explains how Teresa and John Kerry’s 3 billion dollars in corporate holdings allow them to live, “just like us.” When questioned Mr. Glover expanded his comments explaining “us” meant John Kerry lives like an overpaid b-list actor. This came as a crushing blow to Mr. Affleck who has refused receipt of the memo informing him of his demotion to the b-list after nobody saw “Gigli” or “Jersey Girl”. Mr. Affleck has been replaced on the a-list by Chris Heinz on a temporary basis until Nov 4 when a permanent replacement will be picked.
I got one, but it will get me into trouble. But who cares:
Buckwheat says “Oh Tay!”
Glover: All of the logic and brainpower posessed by celebrities would fit into a sphere about this big.
tomg,
No evidence of nuance in the pic, tomg, but I did spot three examples of nuisance. (public variety)
A spin-off of the original caption:
Danny Glover counts on one hand the number of Democrats who don’t have their heads logged firmly up their ass.
He, unfortunately, is not one of them.
Danny Glover:
“My left hand symbolizes the backside of the American people. My right hand symbolizes John Kerry’s tax programs.”
We like Bush served with fava beans and a nice cianti.
Who says that neo-cons aren’t racist? Over the last two days I’ve seen Middle Easterners called “Akbar,” a black actor called “Buckwheat,” and a suggestion that all people from the Middle East should be flown on separate (no mention of equal) flights.
I’m surprised there’s not a link for souvenir jack boots and pointed hoods somewhere around here.
Who says that neo-cons aren’t racist? Over the last two days I’ve seen Middle Easterners called “Akbar,” a black actor called “Buckwheat,” and a suggestion that all people from the Middle East should be flown on separate (no mention of equal) flights.
I’m surprised there’s not a link for souvenir jack boots and pointed hoods somewhere around here.
Amber Tamblyn:
“First, I have an occasional role on a show about vampires.
“Then, I star on a show about a girl talking with God.
“Now, I spend a week talking with moonbats.
“I need a new agent!”
*chianti*
Danny: “Wunnerful, wunnerful!”
Ben/Amber: “That sure doesn’t LOOK like he’s calling up Satan to help us. Is that the best he can do, channeling Lawrence Welk?”
little cabin in the woods
little man by the window stood
saw a rabbit hopping by
frightened as he could be!
Danny Glover reads “My Pet Goat” while Ben Affleck and Amber Tamblyn do impersonations George W. Bush’s vacant 9/11 stare.
Caption: Ben and Amber have the same silent thought: “…Hey, this blowhard might not sound half bad if I could just plug up The OTHER EAR with my free hand!”
Nice comment Lou:
*Glover: All of the logic and brainpower posessed by celebrities would fit into a sphere about this big.*
But you forgot to mention that he was talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ronald Reagan and Sonny Bono.
Hey James:
*Having seen Portman flitting about Cambridge this comes as little shock. Very few people survive Harvard with their sanity intact.*
Makes perfect sense – George W. Bush attended Harvard business school.
“And then I had to perform brain surgery on Al Sharpton, but I had to find his brain in all of that thick skull, and when it came out, it made this squeaky sound, and I was scared… where was I? Oh, right, and then I had to perform brain surgery on Ted Kennedy, but I had to find his brain in all of that thick skull, and when it came out, it made this squeaky sound, and I was scared… where was I? Oh, right, and then I had to perform brain surgery on Jane Fonda, but I had to find her brain in all of that thick skull, and when it came out… hey, are you all still awake…?”
I think Amber Tamblyn is cute. Of course, part of that is because of her infantile political sense. She’s just so cutesy-wootsy when she stamps her Manolos and tosses that $500 salon haircut, demanding fairness for the common people. Feh. I think fairness involves a lot of free kisses for conservative guys in California. Get hoppin’ Amber!
Thanks for the “Operation Dumbo Drop” reference, Derek. I think that should be the theme slogan for the DNC and Kerry’s campaign.
Caption:
Then Glover said in a commanding tone: “… And after I exact reparations from your white-asses, I will lead my people to create a giant socialist state in Saskatchewan! Yeaaaaahh!”
Caption:
Then Glover said in a commanding tone: “… And after I exact reparations from your white-asses, I will lead my people to create a giant socialist state in Saskatchewan! Yeaaaaahh!”
Caption:
Danny Glover pauses for a moment, and then says in a hushed tone: “I dated Whoopi last year, and I’m afraid her bush really is a joke.”