9PM last night: After I finished reading Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus to my daughter, she pleaded for me to read Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business. After which came prayers and 20 minutes of “Mommy, I’m thirsty…Mommy, I’m hot…Mommy, I have to go potty…Mommy, Dark Heart is in my closet!”

After opening the closet door and vanquishing Dark Heart with a Disney magic wand, came dishes and laundry (tons of laundry…my kids go through more daily outfit changes than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie). Then came emptying the baby’s dreaded Diaper Genie.

After disposing of a week’s worth of toxic waste, I was, yes, pooped. At around 1:30am, I watched 20 minutes of the debate on TiVo and fell asleep on the couch.

So, by now, you’ve read just about everything worth reading regarding the debates. In case you missed ‘em, see John H. at Powerline and Lawrence Auster for interesting takes. And check out Jeff Harrell’s post on the DNC violating debate rules with its negative ad using footage of Bush’s facial expressions.

How pathetic is that?! After an important debate that highlighted Flip-Flop’s Global Test fetish and his bizarre concept of preemption by permission slip (to paraphrase Dick Cheney’s great line), all the Dems can come up with is an ad poking fun at George Bush’s face? The Oompa Loompa stuff must have gotten under Kerry’s skin.

Stylistically, Kerry kept a lid on his superior self (remarkable for the candidate for whom “self-effacing” means microdermabrasion). We’ll see if this new facade fades faster than that tan.

On substance, one of the most snort-worthy comments Kerry made that has been little remarked on is this one:

I believe in being strong and resolute and determined. And I will hunt down and kill the terrorists, wherever they are.

Oh, stop, stop, my sides are hurting! Kerry can’t even make up his mind about surveilling and detaining terrorists, let alone slaying them “wherever they are.” (And what if they are here? The question might have occurred to Jim Lehrer if he hadn’t taken Sominex before the event.)

As for President Bush, he exceeded my expectations on substance. Stylistically, I thought he seemed much more confident and comfortable in his interview with O’Reilly earlier in the week. So, yes, he stammered and stumbled last night. And now, some armchair debate coaches seem terribly upset. Well, relax. It is not a newsflash that Bush is an awkward public speaker. In the end, normal non-pundits won’t be swayed one way or the other because Bush said “uh” too many times–or, for that matter, because Kerry said “Treblinka” instead of “Lubyanka.”

This isn’t the most perfect analogy, but do you remember looking at that famous optical illusion of the ugly old lady/beautiful young lady when you were a kid? Researchers who used the image in experiments found that young people tended to see the young image more immediately while old people identified the hag first. (Here it is, for those who missed it.)

All the post-debate analysis reminds me of that illusion. Those already predisposed to see Bush as the ugly one and Kerry as the beauty saw exactly those images last night. And vice versa. Meanwhile, undecided voters who haven’t figured it out yet are still sitting, staring at the outlines of both candidates, unable to separate and discern the distinct images.

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One last thought: Is it just me or is it amazing that we had a historic 90-minute presidential debate on foreign policy and national security in wartime without a single specific question about border control and the nexus between illegal immigration and homeland defense?!

Like Al Gore says: SIGH. SIGH. SIGH.

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