About Contact Archives RSS Columns Photos

IN CASE SANTA PLANS TO SUE YOU…

By Michelle Malkin  •  December 21, 2004 05:37 PM

…for feeding him fattening Christmas cookies, the Center for Consumer Freedom cheekily suggests leaving a “Christmas Cookie Liability and Indemnification Agreement” by the tree.

By signing it, Kris Kringle agrees not to sue you on the basis of:

1. your failure to provide him with nutrition information and a list of ingredients (the “Grandma’s Secret Recipe” clause);

2. your failure to caution him of the potential for overeating because cookies taste “yummy” and are provided at no cost;

3. your failure to offer “healthier” cookie alternatives (e.g., tofu bars);

4. your failure to warn him that cookies may be habit-forming and/or irresistible; and

5. your failure to notify him that eating way too many cookies may lead to even greater levels of obesity (the “Sanity Clause”).

“Of course, Saint Nick has always been obese. Still, you never can be sure where the next frivolous lawsuit will come from, so insisting that Santa sign a waiver before he chows down may be the only way to protect against being hauled into court by a greedy legal Grinch,” said Center for Consumer Freedom Senior Analyst Dan Mindus.

Get your copy here.

Posted in: Fun

See what others have said

Note from Michelle: This section is for comments from michellemalkin.com's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that I agree with or endorse any particular comment just because I let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with my terms of use may lose his or her posting privilege.

Trackbacks

  1. The MUSC Tiger
  2. Catallaxy
  3. Abstract Musings
  4. youtube

Trackback URL

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Thomas Frank, style and soul expert

August 13, 2008 12:14 PM by Michelle Malkin

129 Comments | 1 Trackback

Dolled up.

On a personal note…

July 24, 2008 01:02 PM by Michelle Malkin

126 Comments | 0 Trackbacks

Life outside the blog bubble.

Food crisis, global depression worsens

July 18, 2008 02:30 PM by see-dubya

414 Comments | 9 Trackbacks

“They don’t buy extras like ice cream anymore”.

What if Al-Qaeda had a corporate newsletter?

July 10, 2008 06:21 PM by see-dubya

25 Comments | 1 Trackback

“our Total Quality Jihad family…”

What’s your favorite mondegreen?

July 7, 2008 11:14 PM by Michelle Malkin

104 Comments | 1 Trackback

“Hold me closer, Tony Danza…”

Things Liberals Like Which Hurt The Environment

July 6, 2008 06:25 PM by see-dubya

57 Comments | 3 Trackbacks

Introducing the See-Dubya Genius Grant.

Celebrating Heller

June 27, 2008 02:45 AM by see-dubya

28 Comments | 2 Trackbacks

Skeet Surfin’ USA!

Birthdays!

June 24, 2008 01:06 PM by see-dubya

38 Comments | 0 Trackbacks

Cake all around!


Categories: Fun


David Frum

» Palin

Belmont Club

» Bounce

Marginal Revolution

» The experience trap