…for feeding him fattening Christmas cookies, the Center for Consumer Freedom cheekily suggests leaving a “Christmas Cookie Liability and Indemnification Agreement” by the tree.

By signing it, Kris Kringle agrees not to sue you on the basis of:

1. your failure to provide him with nutrition information and a list of ingredients (the “Grandma’s Secret Recipe” clause);

2. your failure to caution him of the potential for overeating because cookies taste “yummy” and are provided at no cost;

3. your failure to offer “healthier” cookie alternatives (e.g., tofu bars);

4. your failure to warn him that cookies may be habit-forming and/or irresistible; and

5. your failure to notify him that eating way too many cookies may lead to even greater levels of obesity (the “Sanity Clause”).

“Of course, Saint Nick has always been obese. Still, you never can be sure where the next frivolous lawsuit will come from, so insisting that Santa sign a waiver before he chows down may be the only way to protect against being hauled into court by a greedy legal Grinch,” said Center for Consumer Freedom Senior Analyst Dan Mindus.

Get your copy here.