So, I’m sure you’ve all seen this P.C. run amok story getting lots of blog buzz today. Apparently, the grievance-mongers have nothing better to do than attack IKEA for sexist instructions that discriminate against Muslim women because they were illustrated only with male cartoon figures.

Like John Stossel sez: Gimme a break!

The upside of this tempest in a P.C.-pot is that it gives me the opportunity to air my real grievances with Ikea.

I’m very familiar with the company’s assembly directions, because I spent all last summer trying to decipher them. As the handyperson at Malkin Central, I took the lead on building this, two of these, this, and this.

I couldn’t care less about the gender of the little cartoon icons. The money being used to revamp the directions would be better spent on actually labeling the gazillion parts and including assembly instructions in text. In English. Thanks to the cryptic, heiroglyphic-like instructions, I installed doors and drawers backwards and still haven’t figured what the hell to do with this.

Also, half of the flatpacks Ikea.com sent to our house included cracked pieces.

And their online customer service and delivery contractors suck.

But now I’m supposed to feel empowered because there are cartoon figures with skirts accompanying the crappy directions and broken parts?

Sigh…

Update: Readers respond…

From Joe:

Hello Michelle, just a suggestion, instead of Ikea try www.sauder.com. Sauder Furniture is an American company, and their products and customer service go way beyond Ikea. I don’t work for Sauder, but most of my office furniture comes from there and I’ve had no problems.

As it happens, all of my home office furniture is from Sauder. No complaints!

From John W.:

When the founder of Ikea wound up on the list of the world’s richest people, someone noted that it was amazing how quickly the money saved from shorting each unit one screw or nut added up.

I hope your assembly chores did not require any trips to the ER.

Nope, just a few Band-Aids.

From Dennis:

I’m beginning to think their goal is to make all women as equally befuddled by their overpriced, pressed board furniture directions as we men are.

Hah!

From Tammy:

If Ikea were really concerned about providing the most
accurate assembly directions, they’d feature panels wherein the cartoon figures are shown taking turns swigging out of a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Double hah!

Update II: Jay Tea at Wizbang has advice for me and other sufferers of Battered Consumer Syndrome. Triple hah! FYI, I have sworn off IKEA. Never again.