Ask Dr. Helen
Check out this new advice column at PJM by Dr. Helen:
To get things started, I will ask and answer the first question—it is an important one: “What kinds of things should an adult be able to do?” I have thought about this question since reading this famous Heinlein quote:
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
On Dr. Helen’s list: Drive a stick shift (check!), give a good backrub (check!), and understand and be able to use a basic handgun (check!).
You know you’re getting good medicine when you’ve got an advice columnist who supports the Second Amendment.
A few of my own additions to the list of what every adult should be able to do:
Clean a fish.
Change a tire.
Snell a hook.
French-braid hair.
Fold an American flag properly.
Feel free to share yours at PJM or right here.
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Voice a compliment
Voice a critisism
Play at least one video game
- Display the Flag properly
- Check & change engine oil
- Parallell Park ; )
- Play a musical instrument
Sharpen a knife.
Shoot a rifle.
Fight like a buzzsaw.
(And remember, it is often not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.)
A woman that quotes Heinlein is one that has my attention.
Merge into traffic and the rate of speed of others!
Cook the fish
Call your Congressman
VOTE!
Pardon my ignorance but, snell a hook? Please explain so I can put it on my list.
Here!
Thanks! I should have known that!
Change the oil in a car.
Drive a car, rescue a drowning person and tell the truth!
Think critically.
Balance a checkbook.
Debate an issue without resorting to name calling or hyperbole.
- Spell “parallel”
- Explain baseball’s Infield Fly Rule to soccer fans
- Start a fire without matches in the middle of nowhere
- Trust that their government will protect them from savages who are entering their country illegally with plans to kill them
- Operate a computer with basic word processing, internet, and email skills
Kevin:
Start a fire is the most important thing a human being could possibly learn to do. Once we mastered fire, we began to master the world.
Rick:
So… you agree with me?
Why does it feel like you aren’t agreeing with me for some reason? Ahh, the limits of the typewritten word.
Bring home the bacon,
Fry it up in a pan,
and never ever let him forget he’s a man
- Smell a rat
- Hit a curveball
- Read between the lines
- Play
- Work till ya can’t works nomore
Defintely agree, Kevin. See a great film on the subject of prehistoric man’s need for fire Quest for Fire. While it’s silly in some places, most anthropologists I’ve heard seem to think that it hits pretty close to the mark as far as our early relationship with fire.
Raise a child. (not just father one)
Take care of the elderly. (if not for them you wouldn’t be here)
Listen to the arguments of a moonbat (and keep a straight face)
use the card catalogue system at your local library
again…..drive a stick shift as mentioned earlier
zero a weapon…..and fire it effectively
change a diaper on a newborn and burp effectively after a bottle
do these, you are ready to go!
Interesting. Thanks, Rick.
Operate a automatic external defibulator.
Read a map
Find the water cutoff valve
Change a tire
Perform CPR effectively to save the life of another
realize that “Bambi” is not a documentary
Find water
Build shelter
Perform CPR (*nod* Bloodhound)
Wield a knife / axe / saw
Tie knots
Understand tourniquets
I’m a Boy Scout, can you tell?
1. Pronounce “Nuclear” ( Noo-KLEE-ER )
Sorry – after this amnesty b.s. I’m at a low point of GWB tolerance right now and needed to throw that out there.
Say a prayer.
French-braid hair????
Maybe Michelle meant that as part of the Female Adult List.
Not being a member of said list, I dont really know what that all means, but if it’s French, include me out.
French Braid? (Don’t worry, I have it covered regardless)
How about know the Constitution.
Recite the Pledge of Allegiance
Actually sing the Star Spangled Banner at ball games with your hand over your heart or saluting (Another Boy Scout leader here) the flag rather than talking
Know the difference between a screwdriver and a chisel
Kids SHOULD get hurt playing. They learn better than being sheltered all their life
How to pray and to Whom you should direct that prayer.
How to say thank you.
oooh Harry…I’ll agree…must know a minimum of 2 verses of the National Anthem! Any two you choose.
Recite the length of term for President, Senator, and congressman in Washington D.C.
Tell me how to start a fire and obtain drinkable water on say….Natchez Trace….or any other site you like.
You just reminded me of one more thing. You MUST know WHAT the Star Spangled Banner MEANS.
What? You mean it’s not just a song? Wait a second..you mean…that really happend the way it was written?
That KILLS ME!!!!!
Oh yes, starting a fire with a piece of flint & steel is vital!!!!
Sorry, the Scout Leader in me!!)
Read the Koran and understand it’s true meaning
Send a supportive e-mail to RCT-6 in Iraq
Read MM.com and HotAir.com everyday
follow boring Senate debates where our country is at stake
enforce immigration law as it exists already
Crank up your amps to 11 and play an earsplitting Star Spangled Banner on an all american made Gibson Les Paul Custom electric guitar
- Take responsibility for your actions.
– Hold others responsible for their actions.
I agree that everyone should be able to play a muscial instrument.
However I must amend that with they should not neccesarily all do it in public
Huh. I’m a teacher so I think everyone should be able to read, write, and cipher. And speak. And since I am a science teacher, I think everyone should have a basic understanding of the scientific method, and how we use it every day of our lives without thinking about it–basic problem-solving skills are necessary.
Know the difference between Monet and Manet.
How to properly shake someone’s hand.
Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Judge another by their actions, not their words.
Know how to calculate basic figures, like sales tax and tips, in your head. A calculator, if necessary, but at least know how to calculate them.
Know how to set up your own electronics.
Know how to change the filter in your furnace.
Know how to turn the utilities off in your house, in an emergency.
Be able to name at least 10 US Presidents (if you’re a citizen of the USA), and tell a bit about what they’re known for.
Know how to kill a spider, preferably without leaving a mark on the wall… LOL
Specific to tornado alley:
Learn to identify funnel, shelf, tail, scud, beaver, and wall clouds so as not to yell tornado every time the sky is dark and scary.
Explain soccer’s Offside Rule to baseball fans…
To be able to forgive when given honest and sincere remorse. To show charity to those deserving. To never compromise your honor and character.
Spell correctly and use correct language forms in both spoken and written language.
That means knowing the difference between “lose” and “loose,” and “its” and “it’s.”
(I’m a speech pathologist and get a little nitpicky on that sort of thing.)
Recognize what’s necessary and do it without prompting, while taking care not to overdo it but never shirking what’s needed to get it done.
Defer immediate gratification for a greater future reward or for the greater good.
Kimmer….a real nitpicky of mine….know what is ‘your’ and ‘you’re’
I learned this stuff in school….why is it it seems to be no longer taught to our children??
Basic history, English and grammer….why is it my grandchildren seen clueless about it?
And have no idea how to write a proper thank you note! I remain stunned,
* Cook a nutritious meal that doesn’t come out of a box, freezer, or deli.
* Reattach a lost button.
* Wear your pants so they cover your butt.
Pray for your kids and your country
Stand up when the flag goes by
Have enough insight to know that if you can French Braid hair, the backrub will take care of itself
NOT see the world as Democrat/Republican or Liberal/Conservative.
Some of you see the world thru Democrat/Republican eyes. We’re all Americans.
It’s the same game—-call the other side UN-American when they are not in power.
When Dems are in power, Republicans are anti-America. When Republicans are in power, Republicans try to label the dissent as un-American.
Amen, Kimmer and dustoffmom!! Also, the difference between “they’re” and “their.”
With regard to the list, I’ll have to pass on “French-braid hair” as well, and add:
* Recognize and correct his or her mistakes.
Grow a garden. Sure you can purchase produce and flowers at the farmer’s market and floral shop — but there’s nothing like knowing how to grow and cultivate your own
French Braids are like tying a squart knot (almost). Take the left strands of hair over the middle hair, then the right side.
Pick up some new hair along the lef & right and repeat.
Now you know…:-)
Crimeney…that apostrophe represents a ‘missing’ letter…..sound it out! Why is that seems to be not part of school cariculem(sp?) these days??? I can handle contractions, thanks to my 4th grade teacher Miss Stanfeld…spelling often still escapes me!
yup…but if one has very fine and thin hair as I do…well, french braids, no matter hair carefully done, will hold about long enough to walk to the next room!
On June 26th, 2007 at 5:56 pm, dustoffmom said:
yup…but if one has very fine and thin hair as I do…well, french braids, no matter hair carefully done, will hold about long enough to walk to the next room!
Just trying to enlighten those who don’t know!!
Yes, fine thin hair doesn’t work too well.
Rock a baby to sleep, teach a youngster how to do all of the above things.
Know the difference between loose and lose. (I see Kimmer already beat me to this one)
Know the difference between their and they’re.
Know how to read a map.
Know what credit and debit actually mean.
Miannie, don’t worry about it. All you have to do is marry a good man who knows how to snell a hook. And grow a garden. And cut up a whole (dead) chicken. You’ll eat healthy the rest of your life.
I’m with Miannie…..what the goodness is snell a hook???? You’ve got me….and it seems several others…on this one! Feeling out of the loop myself!
Well thank goodness for google! Ya know, I was in my day a real pro with the Dewey Decimal System at my library….that’s a lost art nowadays with google and Wikopedia….anyway, I googled it and now know that snell a hook refers to a particular knot for salt water fishing……the things one can learn online!
To snell a hook is akin to ‘Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life’.
My grandfather once showed me how to snell a hook that had no eye, just a straight shaft. He felt that the eye put off the trout.
I haven’t tried it in a long time. Don’t even know where I would get a hook with no eye these days.
Dustoff, go to the link michelle posted in comment 8, there is a very nice animation of the knot there.
PHenry….going there now…thanks for the heads up!
and how amusing…when I googled it this is the first site listed and the one I looked at just prior to my “I googled it and now know” post.
Someone’s an Accountant…
- Know how to use a turn signal
- Understand that the LEFT lane is for PASSING
- how to merge into traffic
- all ammendments, and be able to give a very basic description of what they mean
- how to count back change
- The name/face of the President, Vice-President, Speaker of the House, Senate Majority Leader, their Senators, and thier congressman/congresswoman
-Name all Ten Commandments
-Send an email
-Hit the target with that basic handgun
-Order a wine
–Speak the language of the country you live in.
Or be learning as fast as you can.
-Learn to swim. (I can’t)
-Accept responsiblity. (Liberals can’t)
count change back!…a real gripe of mine. Most ‘cashiers’ I encounter these days know only what the display on the register says and have no earthly idea how to count my change back to me….again, don’t they teach this sort of basic stuff in school any more??
Dustoffmom:
The answer is no, they don’t teach these things anymore. They use calculators in school for the most part which is why many kids have problems doing math in their heads.
Most parents I know teach their kids their multiplication tables and long division at home. And flash cards for pre-schoolers featuring addition and subtraction are also very popular. Otherwise, schools don’t bother much anymore.
“What kinds of things should an adult be able to do?”
-Drive a car without hitting a liberal.
-Divide liberals into reasonable or unreasonable.
-Argue with a liberal without raising your voice.
-Cook a meal that won’t give a liberal dysentery.
-Recognize the whining pitch of a liberal regardless of alto, tenor, bass…
-Correct a liberal’s mistakes without hurting his feelings.
-Jump over 2 liberals laying down side-by-side in the street protesting a war.
And most importantly:
-Sit in the same room with a liberal for more than 30 minutes without hurling your breakfest.
be able to perform a tactical reload in the dark in the rain .. and know when to do so
Be able to sprint up a steep hill.
Be able to say hello to someone passing by and look them in the eye.
Hold the door open for the person behind them.
Shake someones hand without:
A. Being a total sissy
B. Crushing all of the bones in their entire arm.
Admit when they do not know the answer and be willing to find the answer or at least ask for help when needed.
Know when to mind your own business.
Michelle, thanks for that Heinlein quote! I haven’t heard that in 20 years!
Let’s modify the question, and Heinlien would approve, as he was a staunch conservative:
What should a President be able to do?
A President should be able to recognize his own boarders, know a broken law when he sees one, stay faithful to his wife and if he can’t then not slander his younger lover, understand the difference between a religion of peace and one of barbaric, murderous cruelty, kiss a baby, shake a man’s hand and mean it, strike the perfect balance between doing what he knows is right and doing what the people insist he must do if they are not the same thing, debate effectively, lead without dictating, defend his people and their friends, love children, preserve the natural abundance, never be intimidated by hostile journalists, know his county’s enemies instinctively no matter how friendly or charming they may be toward him, maintain the dignity of the office for life and keep his Goddamn mouth shut after it’s no longer his turn to be President.
Mr. Conservative Cat:
You’ve used the wrong form of the word “borders.” I’m afraid Kimmer might have issues with this…
Actually, “Boarders” may be more appropriate at this juncture.
On June 26th, 2007 at 2:16 pm, novaculus said:
Sharpen a knife.
Shoot a rifle.
Fight like a buzzsaw.
(And remember, it is often not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.)
And also… It’s not the size of the army, but the fury of its onslaught!
How about these:
Know how to destroy a flag correctly and respectfully.
(Yep, I’m an old Boy Scout, too.)
Know when and how to fly the flag.
Know how to salute when you see it.
Know the words not only to the National Anthem, but to “America the Beautiful” as well, and where the tune came from.
Now the teacher in me shows:
Know what separation of church and state really means.
Know how to write your name (in CURSIVE).
Be able to read an analog clock.
Be able to save your Word document to a USB flashdrive.
Know that your teacher’s name is not “teacher.”
Soccercheese, Soccercheese, Soccercheese…
Soccer rules are not important for fans to understand. Soccer fans only need to know how to start a riot when there is a bad call by the officials, a loss to a rival, or an offensive gesture made by an opponent.
Many of the things on this list would also apply to a list of things every soccer fan should know: start a fire, sharpen a knife, fight like a buzzsaw, wield a knife/ax/saw, and take responsibility for one’s actions.
Tongue in cheek.
Love.
Everything else…meh.
Kevin,
Don’t forget about head butts!
Keep yourself clean (I just finished reading about Berkeley CA)
Provide for your family
Take care of your aging parents
Accept responsibility for his/her actions
Understand that egocentricity is for toddlers
Give a little more than they get
Pay attention to those around them
Wear clothing that covers their bodies
And…
Make a homemade pizza!
RobM1981 said:
Mr. Conservative Cat:
“You’ve used the wrong form of the word “borders.” I’m afraid Kimmer might have issues with this…”
I plead guilty to poor spelling late at night, Rob. If James Joyce can have horrible spelling in his first drafts, so can I (I can also)
I think we should remember what the original statement is. It’s basically “what skills should you have”.
Lots of people are answering as if it’s “what things should you know” (the amendments to the Constitution) or “what things should you do” (vote).