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1. #1
   On July 24th, 2007 at 12:37 pm, josetheguerilla said:

   Watch out for the Flim Flam Man!!!!! There’s trouble in river city!!!!!! I voted for it, before I voted against it.

2. #2
   On July 24th, 2007 at 12:48 pm, Brian72 said:

   Did you know John F’n Kerry served in Vietnam?

3. #3
   On July 24th, 2007 at 12:50 pm, Sir Loin said:

   The bunny suit photo will be a classic for years to come. Still makes me laugh every time I see it!

4. #4
   On July 24th, 2007 at 1:03 pm, Cricket said:

   Do you hear a giant sucking sound?

   Limerick? Oh why the heck not?

   There once was a Senator who told
   Lies that were big and were bold.
   Til those he despised
   Torpedoed those lies
   And now he is out in the cold.

5. #5
   On July 24th, 2007 at 1:10 pm, greysheepdog said:

   There once was a man name Kerry
   Whose running mate has been known as a fairy
   He was pummelled by Bush
   Fell flat on his rice filled tush
   And all he has left is Terry

6. #6
   On July 24th, 2007 at 1:12 pm, Yashmak said:

   With his wife’s fortune amassed,
   A run for President he chanced
   When asked ’bout Iraq,
   When he took his support back,
   Said “I was for it ‘fore I was against”.

   You’ll have to forgive me, this is the first limerick I’ve ever written

7. #7
   On July 24th, 2007 at 1:13 pm, blacktygrrrr said:

   The man they call Kerry’s infected
   His ego transplant was rejected
   He thinks he’s so clever
   Speaking smugly as ever
   One of many reasons he wasn’t elected

   eric

   http://www.blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com

8. #8
   On July 24th, 2007 at 1:26 pm, jrlingreenbay said:

   He served a few months on a boat
   Then he left his dear crewmates to gloat
   Of the service he’d done
   And crimes others called fun
   Followed by pleas to us all for our vote

   Since then in the Senate he’s served
   Accepting perks that are never deserved
   Obstructing the military
   Which he falls back on so regularly
   But keeping his record obscured.

   When atrocities were recently discussed
   “They never happened” was his rebuff
   Neglecting the bodies
   Buried by the Khmer Rouge jihadi
   That took place after our soldiers had left in a huff

9. #9
   On July 24th, 2007 at 1:37 pm, rike101 said:

   My favorite caption for that picture that accompanies the story:

   “No polyps, Ted!”

10. #10
    On July 24th, 2007 at 1:41 pm, gregorystephens said:

    The monotoned Senator from Mass.
    That shot himself right in the a**
    Lied about the event
    So it was home that he went
    With a pat on the back from the brass.

11. #11
    On July 24th, 2007 at 1:42 pm, Hollands_Opus said:

    There once was a man who faked army,
    whose comrades he spoke of so smarmy

    he dodged more than bullets
    nearly earning a pulitz

    for causing a real false alarmy!

12. #12
    On July 24th, 2007 at 1:53 pm, Bad Candy said:

    Am I the only one who thought he was dressed up as a condom when I saw that pic?

13. #13
    On July 24th, 2007 at 1:57 pm, DesertLover said:

    Bad Candy

    I thought it was a very bad Woody Allen impersonation …

14. #14
    On July 24th, 2007 at 2:00 pm, davidleerothmann said:

    There once was a sailor named Jack,
    Whose mates he stabbed in the back,
    Televised testifyin’
    For the press, medals flyin’
    Kerry’s honor characterized by its lack

15. #15
    On July 24th, 2007 at 2:10 pm, Floyd R. Turbo said:

    Aye, we, indeed, have some witty writers across this land, don’t we now?

    Well done, lads! Well done!

    ROFL!

16. #16
    On July 24th, 2007 at 2:27 pm, bdfaith said:

    There once was a dumb sh!t from Mass.
    Whose face looked just like his @ss
    His medals he tossed
    The election he lost,
    Now he spends all his time passing gas.

17. #17
    On July 24th, 2007 at 2:39 pm, DesertLover said:

    There once was a sailor named John,
    Who bragged of the deeds he had done,
    He forgot to inform us,
    Of the lies so enormous,
    That led to the medals he won.

    He thought he would never be caught,
    That all from that time had forgot,
    That those who were there,
    Would no longer care,
    If his stories were truthful or not.

    He felt he was being quite nifty,
    But along came a boatload of swifties,
    Who refused to excuse,
    All his lies and abuse,
    And told the truth about Mister Shifty.

18. #18
    On July 24th, 2007 at 2:58 pm, Mr_Conservative_Cat said:

    T’was a clueless Kerry once known as John,
    who’s watching as fellow Dems run,
    They had more than some cues,
    and wouldn’t debate on Fox News,
    and that’s how all of them won.

19. #19
    On July 24th, 2007 at 3:06 pm, AlohaGuy said:

    Kennedy wannabe John,
    (look at the medals I’ve won!)
    Dreamed of getting Monroe
    Got Ta-ray-zuh - oh woe
    Now he dreams of another Bon-Bon

20. #20
    On July 24th, 2007 at 3:08 pm, DesertLover said:

    AlohaGuy

    Loved It … LMAO …

21. #21
    On July 24th, 2007 at 3:18 pm, AlohaGuy said:

    

22. #22
    On July 24th, 2007 at 3:23 pm, MrFreeman07 said:

    There was a young fellow named Kerry,
    Whose life was easy and merry,
    He went off to war,
    Some medals to score,
    But came home his country to bury.

23. #23
    On July 24th, 2007 at 3:25 pm, feralcat said:

    John Kerry’ secret MySpace entry:

    Hi there fellow bloggers. My name is United States Senator John Forbes Kerry from the great state of Massachusetts. You can call me JFK if you want. I was born on December 11, 1943, although people tell me that I look at least 20 years younger. It’s probably my great hair and rugged good looks.

    I graduated from Yale in June 1966 in the top 1% of my class. To earn extra money during the summers, I loaded trucks in a grocery warehouse and sold encyclopedias door to door. That is probably one of the reasons that I am so humble. Over my four years at Yale, I maintained a 96 grade average and received a 101 average in my senior year.

    I am one of the most senior members of that grand and much loved and respected institution known as the U.S. Senate. Probably the only living Senator even a little bit greater than me is my dear friend Ted Moore Kennedy. I also have a very high IQ. Very high. Much higher than that creep who stole the election from me. I know that he stole it because exit polls are never wrong.

    I am also a great war hero. I set all kinds of records for heroism when I was in Vietnam. I was greviously wounded at least three times yet continued to insist on staying in the fight when lesser men would have given up. I won the bronze star with extra V’s for extra valor and the Silver Star for defeating a whole battalion of NVA with my bare hands.

    I sometimes like to chill out after a long day of serving the American people by having a double martini with my good friend Ted. We usually have a servant bring 21 double martinis. I get one and Ted gets one for each of his fingers and each of his toes. Contrary to what some of my very few enemies say I never marry women for just their money. They must also have a pulse. BTW, did I mention that I was in Vietnam? I was also in Cambodia, so don’t forget that!

    I would like to think that I am open minded, honest, polite, and trustworthy. And I appreciate the same qualities in others.

    Who I’d like to meet:
    …other progressive bloggers. Other great war heroes who hate that damn S-T-U-P-I-D Texan in the White House. Cool people who live close to Washington D.C. so that we can get together, talk about you for about 30 second and then spend about 3 hours talking about me. BTW, did I mention that I was in Vietnam and Cambodia?

24. #24
    On July 24th, 2007 at 3:29 pm, feralcat said:

    Yashmak said:

    With his wife’s fortune amassed,
    A run for President he chanced
    When asked ’bout Iraq,
    When he took his support back,
    Said “I was for it ‘fore I was against aghast”.

    You’ll have to forgive me, this is the first limerick I’ve ever written

    How’s that? Now it rhymes better

25. #25
    On July 24th, 2007 at 3:52 pm, Dandapani said:

    Recently, a Mass Senator spoke in Nantucket…

26. #26
    On July 24th, 2007 at 4:10 pm, MagicalPat said:

    Though John Kerry believes he’s a mench
    He’s really much more like the French
    He’s become quite effete
    With his lies and deceit
    And he’s picked up an odorous stench

27. #27
    On July 24th, 2007 at 4:18 pm, Dread Pirate Roberts VIII said:

    feralcat, Really?!

    MagicalPat, well done.

28. #28
    On July 24th, 2007 at 4:20 pm, MagicalPat said:

    Thank you. I can’t take all the credit, John Kerry is an easy target.

29. #29
    On July 24th, 2007 at 4:21 pm, DesertLover said:

    Don’t know how the rest of you feel but between Kerry Limericks today and Nancy’s Memoirs last Friday … I think there is more creativity and brainpower here on MM commentary pages than in all of Wash. DC

30. #30
    On July 24th, 2007 at 4:26 pm, jrlingreenbay said:

    I see that Foxnews has a related story online -

    Headline:

    “Report: Man with Almost No Brain Has Led Normal Life”

    ( Ok, it’s not about J.F’n.K. - but it is a real story )

31. #31
    On July 24th, 2007 at 4:28 pm, jrlingreenbay said:

    DesertLover:

    There’s more creativity and brainpower at my Grandson’s daycare class than in all of Wash. DC…. so that’s not saying much.

    But I do agree - these little forays that Michelle allows us like this and Pelosi’s memoirs give you the same feeling you had when the substitute teacher came in and said, “Um…just go ahead and work on whatever you were doing”.

    WOO-HOO!

32. #32
    On July 24th, 2007 at 4:30 pm, DesertLover said:

    jrlingreenbay

    LOL …

33. #33
    On July 24th, 2007 at 4:38 pm, gayle said:

    There is a man named Kerry
    His wife is Oh so scary!
    He says he served in Nam
    not to mention that he’s a con
    He’s this he’s that he’s most contrary.

34. #34
    On July 24th, 2007 at 5:06 pm, loob said:

    Ha, I forgot I can comment here now. Crafted with such ever-loving care this afternoon…

    There once was a man named John,
    whom the voters soundly rejected.
    He put up a good fight,
    but try as he might,
    he still could not get elected.

    Though with wisdom greater than most,
    and certainly knowing what’s best,
    early projections,
    and stolen elections,
    aided him not in his quest.

    But there’s a lesson for all to be learned,
    from the sagely words of Jack.
    If you don’t go to school,
    And you act quite the fool,
    You are likely to get stuck in Irak.

    So despite his resounding defeat,
    and a mouth that sets him apart,
    dream of what could have been,
    had our man been the one to win,
    A president with three purple hearts!

35. #35
    On July 24th, 2007 at 5:33 pm, MagicalPat said:

    Meet John Kerry who’s from the Bay State
    He holds views that you’d say fluctuate
    He’s rejected the war
    He’d supported before
    Double talking for him is innate

36. #36
    On July 24th, 2007 at 6:50 pm, Cricket said:

    Old John Kerry started on Vitter
    His sins to reveal him a quitter
    But Senator John forgot
    He ran out on Pol Pot
    And now his career’s…oh never mind.

37. #37
    On July 24th, 2007 at 6:50 pm, Speakup said:

    There once was an excessive liberal named John

    He once served in a war by Saigon

    He then joined hateful, demented Hippies in Washington

    A traitor he became to those to whom he should have bond

    John was devious before Congress and Democrats have loved him from then on

    Driving America left over a cliff has been his goal for profit and fun

    He ran for Pres but his past caught up with him and he came undone

    Acts now proven foolish, he mumbles and fumbles, twitches and flips like a grill a fish thereon

    John’s positive it’s wrong to love being American

38. #38
    On July 24th, 2007 at 9:53 pm, MrC_5150 said:

    Michael Savage read a few of the above works during the first hour of his radio show tonight. Rock on!!

39. #39
    On July 24th, 2007 at 11:45 pm, DesertLover said:

    MrC_5150

    interesting … but can you tell us which ones he chose to read?

40. #40
    On July 25th, 2007 at 12:11 am, DesertLover said:

    Never mind … went to the following link and listened to the podcast … what he read were the ones in MM’s initial posting … none from any of the comment posters …

    Just thought I would answer my own question …

    http://www.talkradionetwork.com/

    Just click on the Michael Savage image to get to the podcast files …

41. #41
    On July 25th, 2007 at 1:32 am, Yashmak said:

    MagicalPat, you so effectively captured what my fumbling attempt at a limerick failed to. I bow to your poetical prowess.

    feralcat, thanks for the assist

42. #42
    On July 25th, 2007 at 2:17 am, MagicalPat said:

    Yahmak, thanks for the compliment. Here’s another for the fun of it:

    If you think you possess savoir-faire
    ’cause you married a near billionaire
    Well John Kerry’s wed two
    Left the first for that shrew
    There’s more class in a horse derriere

43. #43
    On July 25th, 2007 at 2:43 am, MagicalPat said:

    Though he claimed he’d no forethought of malice
    John K’s limerick was really quite callous
    His lame jokes ’bout Dave Vitter
    Evoked nary a titter
    There’s no doubt that he’s this country’s phallus