Letting it all hang out
So, Atlanta’s considering a ban on baggy pants and bra straps. It’s a goofy, dog days of August attention-getter.
Also a good opportunity to mention a great related book by Wendy Shalit: Girls Gone Mild: Young Women Reclaim Self-Respect and Find It’s Not Bad to Be Good. Shalit offers a refreshing, practical antidote to LiLo-Paris-Britney-Ho-du-jour. Buy a copy for your daughter, her friends, and their moms.
The Atlanta story is also a good excuse to reprint one of my light columns on modesty, low-riders, and plumbers’ crack. Enjoy–and remember to pull up your pants:
August 1, 2003
Letting it all hang out
Michelle Malkin
How low can we go? I am talking, of course, about today’s waistbands.
If you thought the belly-baring thing was bad enough, take a good look at the sartorial depths to which fashion has now sunk. The Los Angeles Times this week declared it “the summer of the pelvic bone.” Last year’s already obscene low-riders have gone the way of high-water polyester pants.
Today’s hip-huggers have almost nothing but hope to hang onto anymore. The “normal” inseam-to-waist rise of 8 to 9 inches is shrinking faster than Britney Spears’ record sales. To wit, Levi’s has introduced a new line of jeans called “Too Superlow” for women. Upping the ante, or should I say lowering it, the teenage-girl brand Gasoline markets “Down2There” — adjustable low-rise jeans with a built-in bungee cord designed to help the wearer drop her pants to even nastier nadirs.
Canadian teen singer Avril Lavigne’s perilously sagging pants are a global youth phenomenon. “My butt crack showing is like my trademark,” she gracefully explained to a music reporter. Salon.com writer Janelle Brown approves: “[T]he butt crack is the new cleavage, reclaimed to peek seductively from the pants of supermodels and commoners alike.”
The late senator and social critic Daniel Patrick Moynihan’s famous phrase “Defining deviancy down” has taken on a whole new meaning.
Grownups, be forewarned: Avril’s fashion nonsense is seeping into other markets. Levi’s recently launched a “Dangerously Low” line for men. Another of its low-rise men’s lines is dubbed, appropriately enough, “Offender.” Actor Brad Pitt has popularized the Diesel brand low-risers. Toronto-based writer Jim Oldfield says the trend has overwhelmed mainstream men’s stores and orders are already piling up for the fall. One Canadian merchant helpfully advised Oldfield that hip men are wearing the jeans commando-style.
In other words: “Underwear is, like, not required.”
Even expectant women can’t escape these drooping duds. Popular young actress and mom-to-be Kate Hudson has been photographed parading around in low-rise cargo pants and toddler-sized crop tops to show off her growing belly. At a recent trip to my neighborhood mall’s maternity store, the only jeans in my size were ridiculous low-risers with flared bottoms that needed hiking every time I exhaled.
Trust me: This nouveau plumber’s crack chic does not look any better on the overweight guy crouching under your kitchen sink than it does on a six-months-pregnant lady trying to bend over to pick up her toddler without mooning the world.
What will it take to convince the current cohort of exhibitionistas that sleaze is not sexy — that less is not always more, that low is low-class? If Generation X-rated can’t be persuaded to cover up out of moral necessity, perhaps they will listen to medical authority. A warning about the health hazards of low-rise pants was published in the Canadian Medical Asssociation six months ago. According to Dr. Malvinder Parmar, a painful condition called “meralgia paresthetica” is causing wearers of hip-huggers to experience “tingling or a burning sensation” in the thighs.
Dr. Parmar’s treatment: four to six weeks in — the horror! — loose-fitting dresses. Must have been worse than swallowing cod liver oil.
Avril and Britney and Brad need to show their fans that a little extra fabric is not a death sentence. The late Kate Hepburn melted hearts while fully clothed in turtlenecks and roomy, belted trousers. She was a “hottie” who showed us her cheekbones, and left the rest where it should be left: to the imagination.
Alas, modesty has been long out of vogue. But it’s a fashion rule of thumb that what’s out eventually becomes in. The day when “clothed is the new naked” can’t come soon enough.
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See, I own a belt.
I use a belt.
My ass and underwear are not for public viewing.
It drives me nuts when I don’t tuck a SHIRT in, I can’t imagine how showing part of my ass-crack could feel like a decent thing to do…
Saggy pants and looking at someone else’s underwear is a major turnoff, IMO. I really just don’t get this droopy drawers fashion statement. How can anyone find it attractive?
And the article picture really should be “Say ‘NO’ to crack”…
This “cracks” me up. Please MM, no HotAir demos…
I wonder if these people make fun of the working repairmen or others whose cracks used to be the basis for jokes. Maybe they like that look. eewwwwww
“Ho-du-jour” is a great name for a band.
And Sheryl Crow, please, please keep your crack covered or switch to two squares…
I think I meant, “no venting…”
I saw a young “lady” who had the answer. She had a cutoff jean skirt up to her cheeks and she must have been wearing a thong because as she walked, all you could see was her butt. Now, you ask, why is a good Christian boy like me looking? She was walking right in front of me and as soon as I noticed, I turned the other way. If she really knew what people thought of her, I am sure it would bring her to tears. Alas, where are the parents?
I raised 4 young LADIES and I am proud to say, they are just as disgusted as I am about this kind of thing – guys or gals. They will not need a copy of the book!
My g/f loves low-rise jeans on me. . .but not to the level of putting my butt crack on display.
I suspect the jeans I consider low-rise are the new ultra-conservative look (Levi’s 527’s).
I don’t mind the low-rise waistline nearly as much as the mid-thigh waistline with the pants appearing to be safety pinned to the hem of the boxer shorts. THAT look makes the wearer look like an idiot. . .even moreso than the short-lived one-leg-rolled-halfway-up trend that wannabe gangsters sported here in Cali for a while. How anyone decided that looking like you don’t know how to put on your pants is ‘cool’ is beyond me.
AlohaGuy, don’t make me have to pun-ish you…
sounds to me like a call for some Crack Spackle.
I say we pass a law. When we see the boxers exposed we get to drop atomic wedgies on the perps!
OT-Just read O’reilly’s newsletter and it says MM is hosting Factor all next week.
The Police love these Morons wearing the crack-01’s when they try to run their own stupid pants end up tripping the lame brains up… game over.
Fifteen years after Marky Mark brought the trend to the mainstream, and suddenly it’s becoming an “epidemic”, worthy of a sharia-esque law? Please.
What’s next, sandals and socks?
I think the almost pants off show a lack of respect for social norms. I also think it shows a lack of discipline within the home.
The reason these guys wear their pants under their butt cheeks is to air out the heads
they have where the sun don’t shine.
Just don’t stand in one place too long. Someone might park their bicycle.
Monday is already looking better!
Discipline in the home? Many parents want to be their kids best friends and dress similarly these days and sometimes you can’t tell the difference to look at them. This HAS become the social norm.
Like huggybear, I agree this isn’t an issue for legislation nor law enforcement to be spending time on. the fad will eventually go by the wayside on its own.
Although with the question on sandals, there are some people whose bare feet I’d just rather not have to look at:)
I seriously hope people aren’t latching on to legislating bans, you let that kind of Nanny State garbage start, it won’t stop.
And no, I don’t care how stupid the pants are.
How come nobody is defending the plumbers on this issue? How about their feelings? Where’s the ACLU? Where are the Unions? And how did the plumbers get a monopoly on butt crack anyway? Why are all refrigerator repair men being left out of this important discussion?
We don’t need laws banning this we need parents taking responsibility for their children. People still judge you on your attire and it says alot about you as a person. Even office dress has become way to lax. What happen to people respecting themselves and the way you want society to see you. And people wonder why they are racial profiled Shheeesh! People identify others by their appearance and if you dress like you’re from the hood that is how you will be treated……
On the bright side of the moon, baggy pants have assisted police in catching criminals.
Hmmm, I wonder if they will come out with a special line of body shimmer to accentuate the crack. lol
I remember my junior year in HS when we were finally allowed to wear a pantsuit. NO JEANS…this is early 70’s mind you.
I love my jeans, but only wear those that fully cover my waistline.
I have seen my grown daughter wear those lowcut jeans…..and I let her know EXACTLY what I thought…sending the wrong signals, flaunting what should be for private viewing only, etc.
I’d like to see thongs banned ….period.
Wearing clothes like that instantly identfies you as a “low class” person…uncultured and uneducated. In a society where people are trying hard to impress others, it’s amazing how people will stoop to such depths. They hardly get the time of day from me; not worth talking to them.
All I can do when I see the hairy butt & crack is shake my head in disgust. Women or men. Another turnoff is the tattoo on the ladys posterior which is usually always showing when they stoop or some even just walking. I must be too old fashion but all the piercing and tattoos on ladies is a turnoff. Ok I’ve said my piece, I’ll butt out!:-)
When I was a teen I used to wear my pants baggy but after a while I got sick of having to constantly pull them up and it makes it so much easier to run when you are wearing a belt. lol
MM is right about Hepburn. Anyone seen ‘Bringing Up Baby.’
Wow.
Smart girls know it’s the clothing that leaves the most to the imagination that really catches guys’ attention.
(Or at least it does mine!)
Yup. I can get behind that.
Oops – that should’ve been
. My bad.
I wrote this yesterday on HotAir and the same apples to men and woman that have butt crack.
IMHO- a Tat on a woman screams whore especially the tramp stamps.
Why do you think they call them “TRAMP” stamps
I know I will piss off all the inkers but that is the perception of most people like it or not.
There is the old story, first perceptions and it is true.
I have no problem with people letting their pants sag. It helps to capture them when they run from the police, as has happened in more than one foot chase.
I was once told that sagging started in prison to distinguish Teabag’s sidekicks from other prisoners.
All you really can do is just laugh at the dopes wearin em. They look like poop. And face it, the guy’s wearing these droopy drawers aren’t going to be the ones taking out you’re kids tonsils later in life.
Doesn’t every generation have/do something that their parents say goes against the social fabric of society? (flapper dresses, Lovers Lane, Elvis from the waist down, Rock and Roll, low rise jeans)
Ha. I teach high school. I see more teenager boxer shorts and bra straps than the average gym teacher supervising the locker room on dress down days. Urg.
The fellas wear belts, by the way…they just buckle them UNDER the butt cheeks.
But there is a nice trend this summer for girls to wear bermuda-ish shorts (down to the knees! Yay!) and much more cover on the top. I hope to see more of that when school begins on Monday.
Ok, as a guy, I have to admit that there are those women sporting this style that I don’t mind…
But they also aren’t considered someone I’d ever date. I don’t look at them and think “I wonder what their views are on the globalization of the economy” or “I wonder what her thoughts are on the changes to FISA”.
It screams “I’m easy, take a turn.”
For the guys, it screams “I way too stupid to notice my pants are almost falling off. Don’t talk to me, I’m retarded.”
And if it’s considered the norm, I’m glad I’m not normal.
Abby Normal….
For men it is totally inappropriate, and they should learn how to dress properly and respectably.
For women…can we all just lighten up? There are bigger threats in this world than bouncing…well, I can’t say on this site (ok, another thing to add on my Yom Kippur list).
Fine, I am a hypocrite. God built me this way, accidentally or not.
Men should cover up, women should run wild.
http://blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com/2007/04/04/i-like-strong-smart-women-did-i-really-just-say-that/
http://blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com/2007/06/14/i-apologize-forwhat-am-i-supposed-to-be-sorry-for-again/
eric
P.S. If I ever have a daughter she had better cover up or be grounded forever.
On the men’s side, low-rise anything just seems stupid. How on earth can this male say this without crossing lines… the male anatomy makes wearing pants much below the waist really difficult for staying decent when a pretty lady walks by. Then again, for people engaged in this trend, decency is not a concern.
On the women’s side, a slightly lower rise can work well, and some (my wife included) even find a lower rise to be more comfortable as long as the waistband, ur, uh, hipband, isn’t too tight. In addition, for people like my wife, petite with a short torso, the lower rise can visually balance the figure. It’s not the low rise itself that causes the thigh problems; it’s the hipband being so tight that it pinches nerves.
There’s a simple answer to the problem for those who wish to be fashionably decent: wear tops that are long enough to tuck in or will otherwise still at least conceal the waist/hipband while standing.
For those who wish to be fashionably indecent, I think the law is a fabulous idea. I’m concerned about giving away any freedom, I suppose, but I’m not as concerned about giving away freedoms that, by definition of >95% of us, aren’t meant to be had in the first place.
Excellent column, Michelle – just the right blend of disturbing detail mixed with biting wit.
As so many parents are discovering to their dismay, what passes for “fashion chic” these days is not their ally. I’m reminded of the television commercial on lately for “CricKet,” the one featuring the young woman suggestively sauntering around in the low-cut jeans. When I see it, instinctively I leap out of my chair, exclaiming:
“I buy! I buy!! Twenty-thousand dinars for the dancing girl!”
- Uh, you mean they’re selling a phone? Whod’a thunk…
Elton John (ironically) sang the anthem of today’s popular culture many years ago:
It’s party-time for the guys in the Tower of Babel;
Sodom and Gomorrah,
Cain and Abel!
Watch ‘em dig the graves,
‘Cuz Jesus don’t save the guys
In the Tower of Babel.
Oh no, no….
On a much, much happier note:
- And Tuesday, and Wednesday….
There’s no such thing as an overdose of “The Michelle Factor!”
MM you should get your own show on Fox. Look forward to watching next week.
I think that the current fashion of showing of your boxers or thongs is really rude and you certainly won’t find me or my kids wearing it.
However, I find the entire concept of legislating it to be utterly stupid.
I have two teenage boys who routinely show inches of boxer above the pants. Their female friends commit the corresponding fashion sins. It gives me great pleasure to laugh at the way they dress, just as my parents laughed at me and their parents laughed at them.
I also hate their music, just as my parents hated mine. My grandfather used to complain to me about hating his daughter’s (my mother’s) music — Frank Sinatra.
Get a life.
Do the boys that wear their pants low know the it makes them look completely foolish?
For that matter, do the girls that feel it is necessary to show their thongs know that for some of us that can remember, this looks like a woman’s cotex belt?