What does FEMA stand for: Fake Emergency Media Actors; Chertoff condemns FEMA stupidity – pot meet kettle!l Update: The FEMA photoshop fun continues
Update 10/29 8:23am Eastern. Monday morning and the FEMA photoshop fun continues…
From Potfry at The Nose on Your Face…
And from DelosWorld:
Satirist Scott Ott has a sneak peek at FEMA’s fabricated folly to come: Next, FEMA Plans to Stage “Natural” Disasters. Wouldn’t put it past them.
Update 8:07pm Eastern 10/28. Another FEMA photoshop submission from Common Sense Journal…
Update 9:43am 10/28: Rob at Peenie Wallie sends some more new FEMA logos. Heh:
Update: Mike Chertoff works himself up into a strong lather over the FEMA FUBAR:
The homeland security chief on Saturday tore into his own employees for staging a phony news conference at the Federal Emergency Management Agency.
“I think it was one of the dumbest and most inappropriate things I’ve seen since I’ve been in government,” Michael Chertoff said.
“I have made unambiguously clear, in Anglo-Saxon prose, that it is not to ever happen again and there will be appropriate disciplinary action taken against those people who exhibited what I regard as extraordinarily poor judgment,” he added.
Asked specifically if he planned to fire anyone at FEMA, which is part of his department, Chertoff declined to say, citing personnel rules.
“There will be appropriate discipline,” he told reporters at a news conference with New York’s governor where they announced an agreement on a driver’s license plan.
Yes, Chertoff has the nerve to call FEMA dumb while he was striking a DHS deal with New York to allow illegal aliens to get driver’s licenses.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More: FEMA official grovels.
Update: Reader Ron R. sends his FEMA logo Photoshop. I like:
***
What does FEMA stand for?
Fraudulent Emergency Mismanagement Asshats.
Flabbergastingly Exposed Mendacious Artifice.
Send me your suggestions or leave comments below.
And if you’re better at Photoshop than me, send me your FEMA logo redesigns.
Allah has the video of the nation’s stupidest bureaucracy faking a news conference.
Watch it!
More:
The U.S. government’s main disaster-response agency apologized on Friday for having its employees pose as reporters in a hastily called news conference on California’s wildfires that no news organizations attended.
The Federal Emergency Management Agency, still struggling to restore its image after the bungled handling of Hurricane Katrina in 2005, issued the apology after The Washington Post published details of the Tuesday briefing.
“We can and must do better, and apologize for this error in judgment,” FEMA deputy administrator Harvey Johnson, who conducted the briefing, said in a statement. “Our intent was to provide useful information and be responsive to the many questions we have received.”
No actual reporter attended the news conference in person, agency spokesman Aaron Walker said.
A spokeswoman for Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, who has authority over FEMA, called the incident “inexcusable and offensive to the secretary.”
“We have made it clear that stunts such as this will not be tolerated or repeated,” spokeswoman Laura Keehner said. She said the department was looking at the possibility of reprimanding those responsible.
Unbelievable.
No, entirely believable. The spirit of Michael Brown lives on. Remember?
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- Another Natural Disaster, Another FEMA Beclowning : The Sundries Shack
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- Media: Doin’ a heck of a job there, FEMA
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- Conservative Heritage Times » Neocon Michael Medved is a Repugnant Human Being
- The TIW Blog » Blog Archive » Cheretoff Compromises National Security AGAIN
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Hi, we’re from FEMA and we’re here to help.
Fantastically Egregious Mismanagement Agency.
Fetid Excrement Manipulation Associates.
Furtive Expertise Messing Around.
Flatulent Emissions Make Algore.
You know I could use a new job think some might be opening up in Washington ?
meatpie.
YOU are funneeeee! Especially that last one! You made the soda come out of my nose!
Is that a photoshop? Did Xinhua do the equivalent of running the picture of Osama with Bert from Sesame Street P’shopped in?
Because I can’t believe a fashion plate like Brown would wear a Mickey Mouse shirt or sticker to a press conference…
Heads (of cabbage) should roll for this
Fascist Enema Mechanical Apparatus
lol
FEM Ale
Flour Eggs Mayo Artisans
all my money goes to the salvation army. they are good folks, they don’t run fat, and they are ALWAYS the first to respond.
Your right Michelle UN-Believable.
Flatulent Emissions Make Algore. lmao tatters.
Failing Ethics and Mental Ability
Feed Elite Media Anything
good one jarhead.
omg, michelle, A$$hats….love it!lmao
FEMA
Fajita Engorged Muchacho Accident
They ate themselves silly!!!! Silly I tell you!!!
Vladamire Putin style baby!!!!!!!
Fire Engulfed My Amygdalae
Just stimulating no get the fake media.
“Fools Entering Main Attraction”
Fantastic Excesses Made Available
Future Entitlements Most Assuredly
Federals Extort Money Annually
Frequently Embarrassed Morons Actually
Fires Equal More Assets
The admiral in charge must be a REAR admiral.
Honestly, these polotical partonage appointments have got to stop, particularly when it comes to positions involving critical matters.
The horse groomer didn’t work out, so now we get Captain Stubing and the love boat crew playing reporters for halloween.
It would be nice if every person in Homeland Security had some relevant experience to do their jobs.
I am sure Julie Meyers is seething right now, since this is likely to put her qualifications under a microscope at her upcoming confirmation hearings. Don’t know much about her background, but I do hope her experience in dealing with ICE invloves a little more than using it as a cocktail cooler.
Federal Employees Managing Arugula
lol, good one jim.
It’s the Cheese!
Fraudulent Emissaries Mollify Agencies
Fundamental Enquiry Made Anyway
Fecund Earnest Management Anonymously
opps I mean Lettuce!
Frequent Emergencies More Associates
Forever Expenses Merely Accepted
My brother jst sent me this. Its the Global incident map that maps any kind of disaster or incident in the world
http://www.globalincidentmap.com/home.php
From Eating Monster Acid!
Stupid move on the part of FEMA. Of course, a real press conference would have been just as big a joke….with reporters blaming Bush policies for the fires and demanding to know when the feds are going to rebuild all those burnt out homes free of charge.
Febrile Eunuchs Mortifying America
It’s awful hard to distinguish tragedy from comedy when it comes to our Gubamint these days.
Finding Every Moron Around
I’m not sure what the problem here is. I mean, the news conference was Fake, but Accurate, and isn’t that what the MSM wants?
We Californians know that no Big Daddy in Washington is going to take care of us in a disaster, nor should they.
As was shown in the last four days, we are damn good neighbors to have when the earth shakes or the hills burns, and our leaders know they have to answer to us if they screw up. They didn’t.
Go home, FEMA, and give us our tax money back, and have your metrosexual directors go out and work for a living.
Funding
Every
Migrant
AGAIN!
I am not that worked up over this. I think the intention was to get pertinent information out. I have no doubt had they delayed or canceled the press conference the story would be bout that and that FEMA didn’t care about blah blah blah, fill in the blanks
Also, this is what happens with a biased media. The media has no interest in getting pertinent information to the people out, they are primarily concerned with ways to weave Global warming and Bush caused the fires narratives.
Perhaps FEMA could see the writing on the wall?Media wasn’t interested in pertinent information, they were covering Garamendi useful fire relief efforts spent all day on cable news complaining.
On that note, has anyone acutely considered
this was probably the most useful and meaningful press conference ever precisely because a biased press was not present to ask a bunch of stupid, biased and unproductive questions?
I don’t like presser, but one has to admit it was way more productive than any press conference containing David Gregory – more actual useful information was conveyed!
I don’t know what this is about, but I have been through several disasters. And FEMA was wonderful. But they are not first or even second responders. Why people think they should be is idiotic. Like these morons. I mean if your house burns are you going to call the Wash. DC Fire Department? Get a grip.
Feckless Excuses Masking Absurdity
Harvey Johnson the deputy administrator, Cindy Taylor, FEMA’s deputy director of external affairs “Mike” Widomski, the deputy director of public affairs. Director of External Affairs John “Pat” Philbin.
All these officials should be fired, this stunt is inexcusable, if their concerned about the FEMA image heres a tip, do a better job and it will reflect positively. Hundreds of thousands evacuated, loss of life, thousands of homes and businesses lost and were still in the middle of this disaster. How much wasted time and effort went into this fiasco when real work could be done? Currently the weather is cooperating, 16,000 homes in Arrowhead remain threatened, San Diego County alone has lost over 2,000 homes. If the Santa ana winds come back and chances are they will expect more devastation.
For the first time in my life, quoting Bill Clinton, “How Dare You”
Get it together FEMA.
Farcical Employees Mendacious Antics.
Flatlander’s Exemplifying Moronic Acts.
Federal Emergency Magnification Agency.
Failed Examples Managed Appropriately.
Foiled Egad Most Angry.
ForEign Made America.
skey is right on – Fake but informative.
Maybe HillBill will employ this “15 minute notice” approach to continue the Continuously Brilliant Campaign meme.
“Uh…I’ll have to get back to you on that, Senator,” said Michael Chertoff to no one in particular.
Fake press conferences by an already unpopular government agency. Bill Clinton calling out protestors for not having self control. Britney Spears mom writing a book on parenting. I may need a CAT scan!
FEMA. Brought to you by the same folks who want to control your health care.
All of which goes to demonstrate that the federal government has more than earned our distrust.
(F)= Fool (E) = Everyone (M) = Moonbat (A)= Agency. Then these fools in our Federal Goverment want us to fall for Universal Health Care. PLEEEEASE!
Who’s the boss? Where does the buck stop? Hint: Chertoff is must a link in the chain.
Incompetent government. Elect another Republican President and you’ll get more of the same.
Further proof that a housecleaning at homeland insecurity is in order. Starting with Chertoff.
FAILED EMERGENCY MISSION AGAIN
All of which goes to show that FEMA must not, cannot, be the first responder and, Lord help us, the all-knowing, all-powerful protector of the nation against every conceivable national disaster. The government that governs least governs best, and that applies to FEMA as much as other government agencies, most of which should be abolished. Conservatives used to believe that government was the problem and that by focusing on individuals and individual acts of malfeasance, we revealed only that we failed to understand how the world (doesn’t) work.
Sadly, too many conservatives post-Katrina panicked, and in an embarrassing and depressing spectacle, joined with liberals in effectively demanding that the federal government assume the total power of being the first and only responder. No workable plan came from this, no thought was given to how it would be implemented, no cost figures considered. Just a lot of lame Michael Brown jokes. Ho, ho. As the great economist James Buchanan might have added: the federal government (not just congress) is a steam-roller, driven by a drunk. Don’t fall for it, or under it.
If the states and local governments cannot handle these kinds of emergencies, we might as well abolish Federalism and pray for a Putin.
As much a failure FEMA was on Katrina,I must say they did a solid,on dissing our commie/puke,al=Qeada loving news media.
What I find amazing is how people want government to take care of them. We don’t have the best and brightest in gov’t and they make stupid decisions like this one (and I dare say irrespective of political party “in power” – but yet, people say – let’s have more gov’t. Can’t wait till they take care of my health care, my retirement, my dining menu, my allowable toilet flushing, my auto choices and who knows what else they will think of. Oh wait, they are already doing a bunch of them and it’s working soooo well.
lgm…I’d be pretty willing to bet that the people directly making the decision to hold the news conference were not political appointees.
We know you believe all problems stem from conservatives. I disagree. Problems stem from bad decisions of people. I’d prefer to suffer the consequences of my own decisions rather than the consequences of people in Washington or any state capital.
Disagreeing with conservativesRus (#50)
There are stupid people in any organization. The present administration has been particularly vigorous in bringing incompetents and cronies into government.
US health care is different but not better than health care in other advanced countries. Canadians, for example, wait longer for rare expensive procedures but their primary health maintenance is better than ours (statistics show).
Are you trying to covert us?
Good luck with that. roflmao
I must say you crack me up sometimes.
convert oppsie.
Democrats and Conservatives just want someone to hold their hand, lead them to safety and then take care of them for the rest of their lives.
We have become weak and pathetic.
“…for having its employees pose as reporters in a hastily called news conference on California’s wildfires that no news organizations attended.
“FEMA deputy administrator Harvey Johnson, who conducted the briefing, said in a statement. ‘Our intent was to provide useful information and be responsive to the many questions we have received.’
No actual reporter attended the news conference in person, agency spokesman Aaron Walker said.”
Sheesh!
This reminds me of the dopey
“reenactment” scenes that some medical or crime TV shows put on.
Why not just have an informational broadcast…you know, act like grown-ups, and put out informational statements that address questions that would commonly be anticipated.
This fake news conference just has a Monty Python feeling to it.
#52 lgm:
“US health care is different but not better than health care in other advanced countries. Canadians, for example, wait longer for rare expensive procedures but their primary health maintenance is better than ours (statistics show).”
(Sigh…) yet again, for yet another time:
There are lies;
then there are damned lies;
and then there are statistics.
Conclusions from statistics so often depend on the point of individual that is introducing the statistics as evidence in an argument, or on the point of view of the individual who compiled the statistics.
I’ll believe that healthcare is better in other countries than here in the U.S. the day I learn that people from the world over (including from the U.S.) are in huge numbers going to countries other than the U.S. for healthcare.
Until then, as the saying goes, those stastitics and a dollar will get you a cup of (obviously not gourmet) coffee.
Finally, lgm, the topic of discussion of this thread was, I thought, the make-believe news conference put on by FEMA.
Obviously, …point of VIEW…
Somebody should be fired for this.
Well, all the cronies’ heads should roll and this would be one good place to start.
Incompetent and stupid. Rolling eyes and shaking head here.
Tony Danza?
Chertoff should go for any number of reasons, including this.
(BTW, the missing “preview” button is killing us all with typos)
OTOH – elect a Democrat and there very likely will be no America at all left to govern, incompetently or otherwise. Just an outpost of Eurabia in which former Americans can enjoy the fruits of the Democrat’s ongoing and total submission to Islam.
purplepeep (#59)
Probably this was a joke, but kin case it isn’t (you know, liberals have no sense of humor): The U S of A is in no danger of military conquest. Terrorist attacks maybe, oil boycotts maybe, but boots on the ground in Dayton, Ohio, I don’t think so.
And this brings me to the next point: Who’s trash talking their homeland? Who’s disrespecting our troops? Who’s predicting that we’ll lose the war?
Fools Entrusted with My A$$
OT – but responding to #52. I just want to make sure I have this straight as being better. If I have a hangnail, I get service right away but if I have cancer I can wait?
Is that what you are saying? Sure sounds like it.
Your “logic” amazes me.
With the Democrats’ willingness and driving desire to surrender to just about anybody – especially to Islamists – miltary conquest is made unnecessary.
Indeed, CRus, as someone said (Giuliani?) at the last GOP Pres debate; If America goes with HillaryCare, where will Canadians go to get decent health care?
Here in the border states especially we see the steady stream of (legal) vistors – our friends from the Great White North who want competent healthcare delivered in this lifetime.
Hurricane Katrina was PURE RACISM & demoKKKrat HATE for Bush not a bungling by FEMA and/or Bush.
The ONLY BUNGLERS were the mayor of N.O. & gov of La.
#63 purplepeep:
“lgm said:
The U S of A is in no danger of military conquest.
With the Democrats’ willingness and driving desire to surrender to just about anybody – especially to Islamists – miltary conquest is made unnecessary.”
Well said, purplepeep.
That excerpt from #60 sure sounds like a dismissal (which so many times is followed by mocking and derision) of traditionalists’ and conservatives’ legitimate concerns about our society, culture, and country.
I don’t remember any of these LIBERAL HYPOCRITES bashing FEMA & all these gov’t agencies during the sick willie KKKlintoon regime and all his fiascos.
Rememnber the Chicago heat spell & all those MINORITIES that died of heat stroke and he did next to nothing.
Hmmm? Maybe Mayor “Chocolate City” Nagin is not the only one “stuck on stupid.”
What’s even more bizarre there was this:
“this brings me to the next point: Who’s trash talking their homeland? Who’s disrespecting our troops? Who’s predicting that we’ll lose the war?”
It’s hard to even keep a running total of the Dems attacks against America and our servicemen and women.
(I hope the lad knows Dingy Harry Reid has already declared a victory for Al Qaeda over America quite some time ago.)
But, yeah, when you have a party now declaring Bin Liden the victor over America, it’s frightening to realize just how quickly the Democrats would ruch to actually sign an unconditional, total surrender to Al Qaeda and afterwards declare “peace in our time”.
This is an unbelievable outrage. Working in law enforcement I take (and do not return) phony ID’s that are presented to me on a regular basis. My advantage is that I speak Spanish and the wool isn’t pulled over my eyes. These drivers licenses from the New Republic of NY are as valuable as a $3 bill. The gov. has no soul or conscience regarding the security of this nation and it’s people.
Were I in the position to clean some house in this administration, Michael Chertoff would be the first to be fired. He personifies the term “left-wing bureaucrat” and has done his very best to keep our borders wide open.
It was on his watch and under his supervision that Homeland Security vigorously assisted in the investigation that sent two Border Patrol Agents to prison for 11 and 12 years after one of them shot an invading Mexican drug smuggler in the butt – and gave Free Parking to the drug smuggler.
That whole agency reeks of corruption and anti-American subterfuge. Is it any wonder we’re in this mess?
“Ted Kennedy – he’s awesome!”
Driving a motor vehicle in any state is a priviledge granted by the state. Different from a right, a priviledge allows a jurisdiction to set certain requirements and standards for the grant.
Priviledges were supposed to innure to the citizens of a particular state. By virtue of their status as citizens, they could avail themselves of priviledges granted by the state provided certain qualifications were met.
Now, I cannot obtain a driver’s license in New York because I do not meet the residency requirements pertaining to citizens of the state of New York; I am a citizen of a different state.
As a citizen of a State, I am also a US citizen. The two go hand in hand. True, one can be a legal resident of a State by virtue of having the appropriate legal status if from another country. But once that legal status to reside in the US is terminated, how on Earth can they remain citizens in good standing of a particular State?
People not having legal status to be US citizens now have a grant for a priviledge that is not afforded to the citizens of the other 49 states. There appears to be a comity and full faith and credit argument lurking somewhere in the US Constitution.
Priviledges can also be revoked at the government’s discretion. State citizens can lose their driving priviledges for a whole host of reasons – tax issues, failure to pay child support, etc. Can an illegal lose a license for failure to pay child support when they are not subject to US law on that matter?
As usual, the consequences of this kind of a decision have not been thought out. If an illegal is eligible for one priviledge under state law, why not all others? And why should access to what the state has to offer stop at a driving priviledge?
We are quickly approaching a situation where US ciitizens are the second class citizens in the US. As recent events like the Texas death penalty case and state laws granting in state status to illegals for the determination of college tuition demonstrates, US citizenship bestows fewer rights and priviledges than an illegal alien.
And what happens to a state being required to report illegal aliens to ICE? Is New York going to lose all federal funding if they do not turn over their drivers lists to ICE?
The lid is about to blow off pandora’s box.
Eliot Spitzer won’t care if Real ID requires two kinds of driver’s licenses as long as licenses for illegals can be used to gin up motor-voter registrations. The man is a thoroughly corrupt megalomaniac.
Jim M.
Two DMV office managers in New York, one of them a Spitzer appointee, have already announced their intent to turn over the names of illegal alien applicants to the proper authorities.
This is going to be fun. One of these POS 3rd class licenses will be the same as a red ‘I’ (ILLEGAL for any Angela fans schlepping here) on the forehead.
Please tell me this is a devilishly crafty plot to corral 100,000 illegals in the Big Apple.
I nominate Mayor Gavin Newsom to replace Chertoff. I think he’s more honest on this issue. Anyone for golf?
Read the whole sordid thing.
Thank you! This is going to get interesting.
Until then, I do not see how a state can give preferential treatment to citizens from another country. Last time I checked, agreements with other countries were something reserved for the federal government.
We could make it even more interesting by having every non NY US citizen apply for a driver’s license citing the full faith and credit and comity provisions of the US Constitution.
You think the ACLU will help me out here?
Jim,
If you notice in the linked Newsday article above, the head of the New York CLU criticized Spitzer for cowardice in acquiescing to Real ID.
I think FEMA stands for what it is:
Further Evidence of Moronic Activity
Mr. Chertoff, what is “Anglo-Saxon” prose? Since the Anglos and the Saxons are originally Germanic tribes, I’ll assume you told them in German. Sounds good to me.
When they receive these licenses does it require proof of insurance? regisrtration?
When you get hit and the illegals just bail from the car and run, even if you have uninsured motorist insurance theres a nice litle loophole with insurance companies that if you cant prove they didnt have insurance you’re screwed. I found this little tidbit out first hand.
It was definetly a “you have got to be shi__ng!” me moments.
This is an outrage and America is selling out. The Tee-Shirt in Arabic ” I will not Submit” should have been made decades ago in Spanish.