Halloween tax trickery: Iowa goes after pumpkins
This sounds like an Onion parody, but it’s on the wires and everyone keeps sending it to me this morning:
The Iowa Department of Revenue is taxing jack-o’-lanterns this Halloween. The new department policy was implemented after officials decided that pumpkins are used primarily for Halloween decorations, not food, and should be taxed, said Renee Mulvey, the department’s spokeswoman.
“We made the change because we wanted the sales tax law to match what we thought the predominant use was,” Mulvey said. “We thought the predominant use was for decorations or jack-o’-lanterns.”
Previously, pumpkins had been considered an edible squash and exempted from the tax. The department ruled this year that pumpkins are taxable — with some exceptions — if they are advertised for use as jack-’o-lanterns or decorations.
Iowans planning to eat pumpkins can still get a tax exemption if they fill out a form.
Well, we know what the Iowa Department of Revenue employees dressed up as this year: Grinches.
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Cornucopias, tax all the stuff in these and were in deep dish pumpkin pie.
I primarily use leafy greens for growing mold cultures in my refrigerator, but they’re still food.
What about people who carve the pumpkins & eat the seeds?
EXIT Question: Can the USDA be asked about this one? I’m sure they have a 1000 page document describing proper classification of a pumpkin.
LOL!!And I bet they had a federal budget of 4 billion to figure it out. No wonder they gotta tax them now. People could skirt this by carving up something else edible…like a roast…
Does this mean that there is no tax on manure in Washington, since they keep feeding it to us?
They can get their sales tax refunded if they fill out and submit a form (I wonder if they have to submit proof of toasted seeds?). It will cost the state more to create, distribute, and process the form than the 20 cents or so they collect in sales tax on the average pumpkin…they’re counting on most people being too time-pressed, lazy, and/or ignorant to know about it.
Grinches is right.
Just another example of the government trying to eke a few more cents out of the taxpayer.
Renee Mulvey should be beaten down with a wet noodle (of course, we’d then have to pay tax on said noodle, since it would be considered a weapon and not a food.)
The local Weichert Realtors were giving out pumpkins here in NJ last week. They missed out on all those monies.
Seriously, I pray it doesn’t catch on…
Hope they wernt throwing them out of helicopters 30 pcs.
ala’ WKRP with the turkeys.
Oh, this is great. Iowa Dept. of Revenue:
It’s OK to use taxpayer money to pay for your decorations; people using their own money to buy a pumpkin must be taxed. Grrrrr.
Also, they don’t say if they’ll start charging tax on cucumbers used in sex ed. Hrm.
A puking punkin. Nice touch here.
HA! Aj, I loved that show. Back when shows were shows…
Taxing Pumpkins
Sounds like the name of a rock band.
What about pumpkins used as ammunition?
Don’t
tastax me bro!Don’t
tasetax me bro!Note to self: Wake Up!
Where is this revenue going? Is it for the support of out of work ghosts and goblins the other 364 days of the year?
This a sneak peak of the nonsense that Charlie Rangel and the liberal congress will do if they get the W.H. and congress. Just because a witch has 3 brooms doesn’t mean she can afford medical care. Even zombies have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit unhappiness!!
“Faux News Alert”
Iowa residents can expect some exciting news this Easter when all eggs will be taxed, officials citing there decorations!. Chickens in the state are planning a No-Lay day in protest. film at 11:00
re #10 AJ –
“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!!”
LOL — so needed that today!
Michelle, the pumpkin picture is priceless. Remember all unfair taxes are punk in here!
I see by popular demand the preview is kcab.
Jackasses taxing Jack-o-lanterns? It seems oddly appropriate.
Definitely Grinches
I’m an Iowan and this really stinks. From what I’ve heard, this is just going to hurt the small pumpkin farms. The guy I talked to at one said that they can have patrons fill out a form saying that they will be eating the pumpkins, but that’s ridiculous hassle that they can’t really handle. So, instead the tax will just be coming out of their profits.
I thought it was a joke when I first heard it. People filling out paperwork to proclaim the purpose of their pumpkin purchase? (Help, I can’t stop the alliteration!)
Why don’t these politicians just come out and say they’re taking EVERYTHING we earn for “Taxes” and will redistribute a certain amount each month for us to spend.
You know, like our parents did with our allowance.
Because that’s what it’s coming to.
Yipee.
Wait a minute! Didn’t they already tax the seeds that the farmers bought to grow the pumpkins? Sounds like double taxation to me.
I think pumpkin farmers everywhere should bring their pumpkins to the Boston Harbor and throw them in the water.
It’s time for a 2007 version of the Boston Tea Party. If we can get enough pumpkins in the harbor, we could block even Ted Kennedy’s yacht from making its way into town or maybe we could use them to fill in the “The Big Dig”
Let’s pick a date and everyone meet there with a trunkload of pumpkins. Enough is enough. “Give me Pumpkins or give me death”
They’re SOL. From the back of that sales tax exemption form (which has no preset checkbox for either just a private citizen or edibie food, nor any mention of this exemption):
“If property or services purchased for resale or processing
are used or disposed of by the purchaser in a nonexempt manner, the purchaser is then responsible for the tax.”
Guess offering the taxman a piece of pie will just result in you losing that pie as well.
Don’t forget to tax eggs on devils night. They are also used for decoration
Hope you don’t live in Iowa. If word gets to the IDR expect a tax on it.
I suppose the IDR might also be considering a sales-tax on fruitcake for Christmas : )
As one whose family roots are in Iowa, I always thought Iowans had more sense.
hawkeye54… clearly an Iowan. Go Hawks!
What about hotdogs?
Hear in NJ the little farms around us have quite the crowds from late september to . . . even yesterday as a matter of fact. These farms should stop planting pumpkins and grow more corn. NJ (or Iowa) will not get the sales tax from the sale at the farms and the farms will get bigger tax breaks for growing the hottest crop around today. Tax it and it will stop.
Yes, Iowan by birth and in spirit. Held hostage by a career in the Peoples Republic of California.
THe idiot governor of Iowa issuing a mindless diversity in hiring decreee and now this. They all must be interlopers and not true Iowans.
When I retire in eight years, I, against my wife’s desire, must return to help restore Iowa sensibility
Or bananas???
If only there were a tax on mindless gummint nonsense.
Will this mean that a black market will arise to deal untaxed pumpkins? Will the mafia move truckloads of pumpkins from pumpkin-rich untaxed states to pumpkin-poor taxed states, kinda like they do with cigarettes now?
After the pumpkin farmers are driven out of business by taxing them into oblivion, will people maintain secret hydroponic pumpkin patches in their basements, kinda like pot growers do now? On Halloween, will you have to get referred by word of mouth to a pumpkin dealer who sells you your jack-o’-lantern in a public park in the dead of night? Can police raids be far behind, with pumpkin squads formed in each department to bust suspected punkin houses?
What if the pumpkin farmers rebel against the government’s attempt to destroy their livelihood, just like the bootleggers rebelled in the Whiskey Rebellion of 1794 when the government tried to tax their stills to death? Will we face a Pumpkin Rebellion? Will Iowa call out the National Guard to put down the pumpkin rebels? Will the jack-o’- lantern become the symbol of citizen resistance to a tyrannous government?
Once this tax on pumpkins is established, will the good citizens of Iowa have a Des Moines Pumpkin Party, where they dress as Indians, hijack the pumpkin trucks, and smash the taxed pumpkins rolling into town to protest this unjust taxation?
What about the federal government’s role in all this? Isn’t a Pumpkin Enforcement Administration inevitable to control the illegal pumpkin trade? The PEA will have an office full of pumpkin officers in every federal building in every major city. They will boast of many successes, busting smugglers who hide pumpkins in truckloads of squash or basketballs, but still many pumpkins will get through.
The farmers in South America and Asia will switch to pumpkin farming to feed the illegal trade to America. That will cause the rise of brutal pumpkin lords who harvest the pumpkins and ship them to America, paying off police and border guards. Some of the pumpkins will be processed into paste to get through to be reconstituted into pumpkin pies, the crack of the pumpkin trade.
The PEA, in coordination with the US military and State Department, will be forced to enter joint operations with foreign countries to combat foreign pumpkin production. The NSA will monitor communications between pumpkin barons. The Department of the Treasury will track their financial dealings to find out where they launder their dirty pumpkin loot. The FBI will crack down on the makers of jack-o’-lantern paraphenalia, used to cut and light them.
The result will be to drive Halloween underground where jack-o’-lanterns are lit only indoors with the shades drawn so that the cops can’t see in to bust you. Halloween will cease to be an end of harvest festival of the dead and change to a celebration of the democracy lost, celebrated covertly like the ancient Christians celebrated their faith under the Romans. In a world where pumpkins are outlawed, only outlaws will have pumpkins. The jack-o’lantern will become the symbol of resistance and Halloween masks the face of the insurgency.
The Pumpkin revolution will begin with scattered attacks on the forces of repression but will build until there is a new birth of freedom where everyone can buy and display an untaxed pumpkin proudly on their front porch.
Stop this madness now, I say, stop it before it goes too far! Our democracy is at risk and with it all of Western Civilization. As the Philosopher Fife said, nip it. Nip it in the bud.
Uhhhhh…..
Isn’t parsley primarily used as garnish and not eaten?? Maybe Gov. Culver should tax that as well. And since nobody actuall ever eats brussel sprouts, maybe the Iowa revenuers should tax them as well!
By the way, I am from Iowa, and I voted for Republican Jim Nussle. Congratulations Democrats! You screwed the state again by giving us Chet Culver!!!!
I love brussel sprouts.
hawkeye54 –
Come on back, we need more conservatives where I am. Of course, California could use more too, but I wouldn’t want to condemn you to a life sentence there.
LuxEternam (and hawkeye54) – Wow, I never knew there were other Iowans on this site. Living in Iowa City I was starting to feel like the only conservative around. It’s good to know that there are still sensible people in this state (or returning someday I hope, hawkeye54.)
ajmontana –
I love brussels sprouts too. More sprouts for us I guess.
I have not laughed this much since the the flying turkey show on WKRP. All of you commenters are so witty. Lets face it, conservatives have a sense of humor! Thanks all for giving me a good laugh with tears.
In the words of our governator, “AH’LL
BE BACH!” Southern California and its weather are so-o-o overrated. : )
QUICK get to your radio!!! I’m gonna be on Rush Limbaugh’s program on WMT 600 out of Cedar Rapids at about 2:30- 2:35pm CDT talking to him about this!!!!!!!!! WMT delays him an hour I just got off the phone with Him!
POOP! WMT 600 delays Rush two hours so it will 3:30 – 3:35pm CDT!!!!!
LuxEternam – Cool. 3:30 is better, I’m off work by then. I’ll listen.
I am reading these posts out loud to my daughter and we’re both cracking up. Hilarious.
MWUAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHA!!! I”M MAD WITH FAME AND POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!
to funny lux, wtg!
I dunno hawkeye54, its a beautimus sunny day here and the pool is looking great.
LuxEternam –
(#46) That’s hilarious.
I listened to your call. Nice to know Iowa City has some conservatives. I must admit, I’m an import, not a native and besides my husband, I don’t really know any conservatives here. Where do you all hide yourselves?
Lots of conservatives out here in western Iowa. Unfortunately eastern Iowa has us outnumbered and we ended up with Culver.
Sky resorts are close hawkeye, but, I understand home is where the heart is.
gotta love home.
In hyper liberal Iowa City, we conservatives live in the sewers and underground in order to avoid the pachouli smell and pot fumes!!!
There are a few conservative bastions in the smaller towns and farms of eastern Iowa (I know, as I still have some relatives in that part).
Its those darn University towns in Eastern Iowa that draw liberals like flies to cow pies:)
Amen to that.