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She’s baaaaack. In 15 minutes, Des Moines Register editor Carolyn Washburn returns for the Iowa Democrat debate. How long before she raps knuckles? Will she ask for a show of hands? Will they waste time with more superfluous video of the candidates while the candidates stand there on stage watching themselves soaking up valuable time? Bets on hottest topics she’ll completely ignore? (Hint: Meltdown!) Who’s she voting for: Hillary or Obambi? Will anyone wonder out loud why Dennis Kucinich wasn’t allowed to join in the Iowa reindeer games?

Reaching for my No Doze…stay tuned for liveblogging. Or zzzzzzzzlogging.

***

Note: Just a few minutes into this debate, it’s clear how much more deferential Schoolmarm is to the Dems than she was to the Republicans. Deathly dull. This is not a debate. It’s a wake.

Note II: Schoolmarm is all giggles. She seems to have a particular soft spot for Bill Richardson.

Note III: Scroll down to 2:43pm update below. Hillary gets a chilly reception when she ribs Schoolmarm about her “show of hands” question yesterday. Brrrrrrrrr. It’s the only sighting of Nurse Ratched I’ve seen this hour.

***Here’s the vid.***

Note IV: All important topics covered so far: Air conditioning, wind turbines, art in the schools.

Note V: Scroll down to 3:14pm Eastern below.

Schoolmarm asks Obama: How are you going to provide change when you have so many former Clinton advisors advising you?

Laughter. Hillary cackles: “I want to hear this.” Schoolmarm giggles.

OBAMA: “Hillary, I’m looking forward to you advising me as well.”

***Here’s the vid****

Note VI: It’s over. Final question for the candidates. What have you learned from Iowa? My answer:

What I learned: Iowa newspaper editors are as condescending, biased, and out of touch with the mainstream of voters as East Coast and West Coast editors are.

***

Here we go.

2:02pm Eastern. Schoolmarm sets the rules. “I’ll try not to be a Scrooge about.” Schoolmarm is already showing her softer side. Surprise.

First question: Iowans of both parties asking – Will it be a priority to balance the budget?

Obama blames Bush and the GOP.

Richardson: I’ll be the biggest balanced budget guy you’ve ever seen!

Biden: Eliminate the war, eliminate the tax cuts, cut $20 billion out of the military….problem solved!

Dodd: Solution: Pay as you go budgets. Grow the economy.

Edwards: Create jobs!

Hillary: Fiscal responsibility!

Question: What taxes would you increase?

Richardson: Doesn’t answer. Has 60 seconds to not answer.

Edwards: Big corporations = bad. Me = good.

Just a few minutes into this debate, it’s clear how much more deferential Schoolmarm is to the Dems than she was to the Republicans. No interrupting. No jumping all over them with her stopwatch.

Clinton: Big corporations and wealthy individuals = bad.

Question: How will you pay for new programs with ongoing Iraq war?

Schoolmarm’s giving Obama like, an hour, to say nothing.

Richardson: Blah, blah, blah.

Schoolmarm gives Richardson another 60 seconds to bloviate about China.

Can’t. Keep. Eyes. Open.

Question for Hillary: What do we do about entitlements? Is it a problem? Couldn’t Schoolmarm come up with a real, focused question on this issue? Would it have killed her?

Hillary: Bipartisan commission. BOLD!

Schoolmarm politely asks Obama to keep his answer short. She seems almost sorry she has to ask. Contrast with yesterday’s snappier growling at the Republicans.

Richardson gets another hour to bloviate. I’m getting the feeling Schoolmarm is a Richardson fan.

Free Statement time! More uninterrupted bloviation time.

Obama gives his MLK Jr. speech.

Edwards flubs his Better America speech. “We should leave America better than what we made it. Leave it better than how we found it. Whatever.” Opponents cackle. Hillary is loving it. Schoolmarm giggles.

Questions on human rights. Nafta.

2:34pm Eastern. More free statements. This whole “debate” has been a free statement forum for the Democrats.

More Richardson. Schoolmarm giggles again.

2:36pm Eastern. Question on energy independence.

Bill Richardson is talking about air conditioning.

Schoolmarm: Sen. Dodd, can you try that (question) in 30 seconds. Giggle!

Dodd: Carbon is KILLING THE PLANET!

Obama is talking about WIND TURBINES.

Schoolmarm gives Edwards 10 minutes to talk about the planet.

2:43pm Eastern. Hillary interjects. “Carolyn, are you going to ask us to raise our hands? ‘Cuz the Republicans didn’t do such a good job. We believe it is a problem!” Schoolmarm: “I’m not doing that today.”

Frosty.

2:49pm Eastern. Schoolmarm so polite: “We have to move on, I’m afraid…”

More “Free Statements.”

Hillary speeds through stump speech.

Dodd plods.

2:51pm Eastern. Education question. What are your goals, timetables to set up the best education system. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

2:53pm Eastern. Bill Richardson will make us number one in math again. And Art in the Schools. Just like Huck.

3:00pm Eastern. Sorry, I tuned out to post about Nancy Pelosi’s latest unhingedness. I tuned back in to hear Schoolmarm giggling over Dodd exceeding his time.

3:05pm Eastern. Schoolmarm delicately asks Hillary about her secretive health care task force. Russert already broached the secrecy issues better months ago. Bwahahaha: Hillary is complaining about government stonewalling. She’s “committed to open and transparent government.”

3:07pm Eastern. Schoolmarm raps Biden for his racial gaffes. He explains his Indian immigration and Washington DC black students remarks. Defends his civil rights record.

Everyone claps. Obama exercises his absolute moral authority and gives his “testimony” and absolution.

Richardson gets a softball about Wen Ho Lee. “I’ve made a lot of gaffes and I’m glad you haven’t raised them.”

Schoolmarm: Giggle.

****First worthwhile question/exchange of the entire forum…********

3:14pm Eastern. Obama – How are you going to provide change when you have so many former Clinton advisors advising you?

(Laughter. Hillary cackles: “I want to hear this.” Schoolmarm giggles.)

OBAMA: “Hillary, I’m looking forward to you advising me as well.”

Biggest applause line.

3:18pm Eastern. New Year’s resolutions.

Hillary wants to exercise. Oh, and win the presidency.

Edwards pours on his treacly Two Americas rhetoric.

Dodd wants to “regain our moral authority” and wishes that Iowans will “caucus correctly on Jan. 3.”

Richardson wants to lose weight. He’s the Huckabee of the Democrat Party.

Biden resolves to remember when things were really bad so that he enjoys…when things are good. Remember where you came from.

Obama: Be a “better father, husband, and remind myself that this is not about me.”

Ugh. It’s not done yet.

Question: 20 seconds to tell schoolmarm what lessons they have learned from Iowa.

Hillary: I ate a lot.
Everyone else: We love Iowans. Iowans are wonderful.

What I learned: Iowa newspaper editors are as condescending, biased, and out of touch with the mainstream of voters as East Coast and West Coast editors are.