Introducing Sharia Standard Time
Coming to a time zone near you? Via HA Headlines:
Muslim scientists and clerics have called for the adoption of Mecca time to replace GMT, arguing that the Saudi city is the true centre of the Earth.
Mecca is the direction all Muslims face when they perform their daily prayers.
The call was issued at a conference held in the Gulf state of Qatar under the title: Mecca, the Centre of the Earth, Theory and Practice.
One geologist argued that unlike other longitudes, Mecca’s was in perfect alignment to magnetic north.
He said the English had imposed GMT on the rest of the world by force when Britain was a big colonial power, and it was about time that changed…
…The meeting also reviewed what has been described as a Mecca watch, the brainchild of a French Muslim.
The watch is said to rotate anti-clockwise and is supposed to help Muslims determine the direction of Mecca from any point on Earth.
The meeting in Qatar is part of a popular trend in some Muslim societies of seeking to find Koranic precedents for modern science.
It is called “Ijaz al-Koran”, which roughly translates as the “miraculous nature of the holy text”.
The underlying belief is that scientific truths were also revealed in the Muslim holy book, and it is the work of scholars to unearth and publicise the textual evidence.
But the movement is not without its critics, who say that the notion that modern science was revealed in the Koran confuses spiritual truth, which is constant, and empirical truth, which depends on the state of science at any given point in time.
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I play the online game EVE Online, which is on a server hosted in London. EVE time is GMT
They change it to sharia standard time I quit.
Hmmmm, I predict a lot more “premature detonations”.
“Muslim scientists”???????
I didn’t know they did anything besides design suicide belts
1. Why is the center of the earth on the outside? Centers are usually on the inside of spheres.
2. Magnetic poles move.
Other than that all their other arguments sound awesome!
well, i mean, sure. silly us for not considering Mecca was the true center of the world, galaxy, universe, and in fact, of everything.
Magnetic north changes and wanders. It also flips with the south pole over geologic time.
Maps and compasses anyone?
I suppose it is the new standard for timed suicide bombs.
LOL.. “The underlying belief is that scientific truths were also revealed in the Muslim holy book, and it is the work of scholars to unearth and publicise the textual evidence.”
Translation : Once scientific truths are discovered, it is the work of islamic
scholarspropagandists to distort the muslim holy book to make it fit the existing science.Lets see them ‘discover’ something not already discovered..
Channeling George Carlin: It’s 7 o’clock in Los Angeles! It’s 8 o’clock in Denver! It’s 9′ o’clock in Chicago! In Mecca, it’s 863 AD…
Sheesh, what next? BTW, if you want to know where the true center of the earth is, it’s approximately 3,950 miles beneath your feet, regardless of where you are on the surface.
And if Mecca didn’t exist any longer?
Then what?
( at risk of being reprimanded, I wont say Nuke the place)
It’s a good plan. Devise a way to remove and isolate their society (I am being very generous with the term)in all manners of time and space from the rest of the world. Maybe if France adapts to it “youths” won’t torch 2000 cars a night.
Unlike Western clocks, which when broken are still right twice a day, the new Muslim clock will only be right once every two millennia.
Magnetic north isn’t static.
Any ‘geologist’ that says something so dumb needs to go retake geology 101.
Unless, of course he means two points are in perfect alignment. And that means EVERY point on Earth is in perfect alignment with magnetic north.
Islam hasn’t given science much over the past 1000 years and it doesn’t look like its going to any time soon.
I’m reminded of this exchange in Shakespeare:
“I can call spirits from the vastly deep.”
“But will they come when you call them?”
There I think this is what he meant to say.
Magnetic North freakin’ resides in Canada. I’m not Canadian, but if magnetic north alignment is your logic, I’d say Canada gets the win in that argument.
This is why we need more anti-Islamicist humor out there. If we let these nut balls get by without derision, they will just keep pushing the envelope of the absurd like this.
#15 - (but no one wants to challange them otherwise they’ll cut off your heads and burn all your cards…..)
P.S. What does this mean for Beer:30? Or Happy hour?
(ops, cars not cards)
You’d think that something that was created 125 years ago would be left alone, and not played with just to please the few people.
If they really want to be in charge of an empire, let’s hurry up with the space station. And then they can make all the suicide blasts they want there because we won’t give a d***!
Bear1909 has called for the adoption of little cocktail weenies as the International Food of All Species since it is at the center of his current food fascination.
Fork that pork, AwkMed.
“Muslim scientists.” ROFL. Too funny.
dejack, re: “Maybe if France adapts to it “youths” won’t torch 2000 cars a night”.
Ohhh that’s just socialist protectionism… It means new 2000 cars sold the next day, plus all the jobs created by hauling away the burnt shells… I am surprised they haven’t figured it out in Dearbornistan.
ROFLMAO
pretty funny.
My thoughts as well.
Isn’t “muslim scientist” a contradiction in terms?
I suggest a counter-offer: Jerusalem Standard Time?
Now I don’t care what you say, that is funny….
Guess we should plan on a Don Williams music comeback … “Living on Baghdad Time” …
Afternoon, bear. Good to see you again.
Several jokes about whether you went to see the Pope are swirling in my mind.
Mecca *is* the center of the world, as evident on this Islamic map:
Islamic World Map
I thought bear WAS the pope.
Wildcat84, the term I think you are looking for is “Oxymoron“….
….with the emphasis on Moron…
Anyone else noticing the irony that in the wake of Ben Stein’s figurative crucifixion for daring to call out the militant Darwinists we now have Muslims demanding that the world yield to their call that time be set according to their holy book. Where’s the outcry against this interference from people of faith? (Nevermind, it’s a rhetorical question.)
Looks more like a scoped target to me.
hehe
DJM #35, that map is funny, too. Y’all are having way too much fun today. Don’t you know you are supposed to be bitter?
Now, dang it, where did I leave my gun…
Well, I expect Europe to go rushing to change the clocks. They must not upset the moslems, of course. In England, for sure, complaining that changing GMT to “Mecca time” will get one charged with a “hate crime”. Personally, following their reasoning, Canada should have the choice, not Mecca. Any Canadiens complaining will also be charged with “hate crimes”. Maybe the moslems can get laws passed forbidding the magnetic north from changing.
Give a monkey a brain and he’ll swear he’s at the center of the universe.
If Carbon Dioxide (C02) molecules are damaging the atmosphere … just imagine what OXY-MORON (OM3) molecules are doing to it …
Sharia Standard Time:
is that a digital thing or an hour glass fulla sand thang?
can we turn our calendars back that far?
can moslem scientists look their names up in a phone book in Mecca?
do they have phone books in Mecca (how do they fit all that big splashy writing?)
when was the last time you corroborated a law of physics on the research of a Moslem scientist?
how do Moslem scientific theories about time and space impact the delivery of seven virgins on time to obedient Jihadists? law of supply and demand (that’s 140k for Iraq alone!)
while we’re at it: standards of weights and measures— the REAL standards, live from Mecca— the WORLD’s BIGGEST LOSER— Mookie Al Sadr….how much does that wiggly weigh, anyway?
so many questions and sooooo little time!
Now wait a minute here. Did they check with Obama on that? I thought he made it very clear that He, The Great Obama, is the centre of the earth.
I slipped The Holy Fawda one of these groovy Haitian see-garz Soap sent me a few weeks back.
I was a little confused earlier last week when i managed to “Piss off the Pope” heading into our PTA elections…..heh heh….”Darlin- was it somethin ah sed?” lol thin skinned local Berkeleyites…..
it’s always fun until yer BLOOOD ENEMYBEAR gets elected treasurer….BWAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!
Does that imply we also having Sharia Savings Time?
I think the two sayings merged awhile back and people got confused. The Pope is into outdoor plumbing now—- and, as for me, I’m Catholic.
Get the hook! I am supposed to be working!
So, the longitude line through Mecca runs at an angle?
Let’s see… globe, marker, and run the line from Mecca to Ellesmere Island.
All longitudes will either need to be adjusted to follow, or will be eliminated. (I’m talking to you, 84-degrees West!)
I jacked into Starbucks to get away from the phone. And look! I’m “Awn Loin” chattin away like a fiend.
#5 On April 21st, 2008 at 4:31 pm, giaodn said:
“1. Why is the center of the earth on the outside? Centers are usually on the inside of spheres.”
They might be referring to it as the center in the sense of the “navel”, which they might think could thus be on the surface.
(A stone at the oracle at Delphi, in Greece, was considered the “omphalos”, or “navel” (center) of the universe. I saw the stone [or a reproduction of it] when visiting Delphi in the early 90s.)
Anyway, who knows, and who cares, what those dangerous clowns are thinking, or arer referring to?
“2. Magnetic poles move.”
Exactly.
Learned that way, way back in school.
“Other than that all their other arguments sound awesome!”
LOL!
Good post.
Thanks.
#29 On April 21st, 2008 at 5:00 pm, wildcat84 said:
“Isn’t “muslim scientist” a contradiction in terms?”
Rim shot to you!
nyc, you have left out that really big turtle…
Bear, re:”how do Moslem scientific theories about time and space impact the delivery of seven virgins on time to obedient Jihadists? law of supply and demand (that’s 140k for Iraq alone!)
That’s seventy two virgins… and it’s a time share.
Here in Canada, we learn that that Magnetic North is in Canada, and that Toronto is the center of the universe, let alone the world!
I myself am perfectly aligned with magnetic north. From me to the north is always from me to the north.
Maybe this will be Jimmy Carter’s next “assignment” for legacy…negotiating the GMT with the moslems. Lots of “hugs” to give there, Jimmy.
Mecca Mean Time: The only time zone where it’s never five o’clock.
By now they must have had to come up with a recycling program …
The new clock will run anti-clockwise right back to the 7th Century.
But it’s NOT green!
I’m surprised as well that there are Muslim scientists. If these scientists exist, why hasn’t their culture progressed since they invented algebra?
No one found humor in the fact that the muslim clock would be moving backwards? I’m disappointed in all of you.
AlohaGuy … I suspect you have a point there …
Carbon credits… virgin credits, whatever, same BS.
LMAO….boy is my face red!!!!! 1.44 million virgins…..in one place….
tawk about a time sensitive deliverable.
in the words of the immortal Russian General Kutuzov….”OH! CHA CHON-YA!”
Rev Wolf said:
No one found humor in the fact that the muslim clock would be moving backwards? I’m disappointed in all of you.
Uhhh humor? no, not so much… backwards,that is the freakin problem!
Faux News Alert:
Al Gore requesting consideration as Time Mecca spokesperson for the newest Moslem time change campaign . While negotiations are pending, Gore does require that he be able to take full credit of all findings, along with book rights.
So instead of Y2K disaster, it’ll be Y700AD
Gore: “The last Cheetoh is mine too.” (”Never leave your Cheetohs on the table, Tipper!”
ehhh, junk food…junk science…potato patato!
(Or is it Potatoe?…I fergets)
Anyone attempting to torch my cars will find themselves with a hole where their head once was.
Back on topic: Unlike the elites in politics, academia and the media, thank goodness MM has the cojones to challenge these revisionists. At the end of the day, however, I’m fine with the Mideast attempting to pursue commercial enterprise using proprietary temporal calculations. Considering the western proclivity for massive and inconvenient contortion where dollars are involved, they might finally discover our limits.
What’s time to a hawg? The piggies will get the last laff on those MoFo’s.
How many pigs in production in the US alone? How many pork bellies in storage? And the futures market on pork bellies?
“Oh Deez 2 mohtch for me and brudda AwkMed! Let me die!”
Hey, Michigan is a pork producing state…what didja think it was gonna be like. SOY AMERICANO!
feebiebabe,… are you sure it’s gore not carter?
#73 - Brooklyn (can I call ya that?),
To tell ya the truth, Brooklyn…
Either would probably work here (yikes)…I was just playing off the carbon credits and the ridiculous junk science bit….
(the fact she has to explain the joke is not helping her, Brooklyn…..)
I’m fine with the Mideast attempting to pursue commercial enterprise using proprietary temporal calculations.
wanna buy some carbon credits?
“I am a tater tot vegetarian. Tipper and I believed it was impornant
to model good breeding….er….eeeding habits for the kids.”
-Aldo Gore
(y’all dint know he was Sicilian didja?!?!?!?!?!?!)
Let’s not start this again.
# 75, proud to be called Brooklyn!
I love it. The aviators always plan air support on zulu time (GMT) instead of local time, leaving the poor ground guys confused as to when the air will show up on station. (Unless you possess superlative skills at addition and subtraction, and a good memory…) If Jihadi Mean Time (JMT) now equals local time in the mideast, us poor dumb ground guys will be straight! Now the bombs will hit when I want them to.
#79 -
#77 - omg…lmao
Do Muslims allow clocks or watches?
Of course they do!
Do they allow women to tell time?
Not so sure about that.
In the middle east it’s always time for a woman to shut up, put out, and wear a burqa.
Thank you and good evening.
Now I know where my toilet empties when I flush.
libocrat, “Do they allow women to tell time?”
Sure, time to cook, time to wash, time for a beating,…
Time to make the donuts!!
Islamic scientists? Yeah, yeah. That’s right. Their societies encourage so much freedom of thought and funds so much basic research with their oil revenue.
Shortest list in the world: Islamic Nobel Prize winners for physics, chemistry and medicine.
Not hard to understand when the vast majority of their education system is spent studying first millennium literature.
Didn’t the USSR try this? It was lame when they did it as well!
I am quite sure that my back faces Mecca most of the time, but then again Mecca is an unimportant site to me since I am a Christian. Give them an inch and they’ll take the time of day.
#62 On April 21st, 2008 at 5:33 pm, Mooseman said:
“I’m surprised as well that there are Muslim scientists. If these scientists exist, why hasn’t their culture progressed since they invented algebra?”
I’m not sure it’s quite as simple as that the Arabs invented algebra.
Yes, algebra is an Arabic term;
and yes, they developed algebra somewhat, from what I’ve read;
but, they certainly do not appear to have invented it.
From what I’ve read, its origins go back to the Babylonians.
I searched the net with the terms “algebra” + “invented”, and got a good amount of info.
Also on the topic of math:
Even though the numerals we use are commonly referred to as “arabic”, the Arabs did not develop them.
They are actually Hindu numerals, which is the other term for them that I had learned in school way, way back.
Hey, it’s a 72-year old virgin, not 72 virgins. Like all jihady’s; they have been lied to by their Iman’s.
I said it earlier to Wildcat, now I’ll say it again to libocrat….I don’t care what you say, that is funny…
Granite #90 –
Granite, I believe you will find that it was the Assyrians (spelling?) that invented algebra, along with a whole host of other things that Arabs took credit for. When the forces of Islam conquered various peoples of the Middle East around 700-800 A.D., they would assimilate whatever notable science or culture was contained and then claim it as their own.
I’m sorry but, having the word “Koranic” and “modern” in the same sentence just doesn’t work for me.
#93 On April 21st, 2008 at 6:59 pm, Watcherdownsouth said:
“Granite #90 –
Granite, I believe you will find that it was the Assyrians (spelling?) that invented algebra, along with a whole host of other things that Arabs took credit for. When the forces of Islam conquered various peoples of the Middle East around 700-800 A.D., they would assimilate whatever notable science or culture was contained and then claim it as their own.”
Yep.
I read an article quite recently that described how Arabs and Muslims have borrowed virtually everything that they claim, and are popularly (and ignorantly & erroneously) understood, to have “invented” from the peoples and cultures they invaded, fed and leeched off, and ultimately devoured and destroyed, or severely reduced, over the centuries: India, the Assyrians, the rest of the originally Christian Middle East, originally Christian North Africa, the Greeks, the Armenians, ….
I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT OUR FINE NEW JIHAD STANDARD TIME CHRONOMETER. SYNCRONIZE YOUR SUICIDE BOMBS TO THE SECOND WITH THIS FINE TIMEPIECE AND YOU WILL ALWAYS APPEAR SPECTACULAR NOT ONLY ON AL JAZEERA, BUT ALSO ON CNN INTERNATIONAL. DESIGNED TO RUN BACKWARDS, NOT ONLY WILL YOU BE ABLE TO TELL EXACTLY WHERE MECCA IS (EVEN IF IT’S NOT DRAWN ON THE FLOOR OF YOUR CELL), BUT IT WILL ALSO BE A SYMBOL OF BACKWARDS PROGRESS CELEBRATING OUR IMMINENT RETURN TO THE DARK AGES. THIS WATCH HAS NOT ONE, BUT TWO ALARMS; THAT’S TWO ALARMS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE. THE FIRST ALARM TELLS YOU WHEN TO PRAY AND THE SECOND ALARM ANNOUNCES THAT IT IS AGAIN TIME TO BEAT YOUR WIVES…
Kudos #13 for pointing out one possible difficulty down the road for “Mecca time”.
But I suppose “Glass Parking Lot” or “GPT Time” could be used in that case.
But another question:
Why is Mecca so important? Why don’t Christians obsess about Nazareth or Golgatha? Because Christ is fully man - historical and corporeal - Christ is also fully God - transcendant, and eternal. His legacy is the faithful on earth and the way we live our lives, not a building or single place.
The dhimmis in Europe and in this country are what scare me. Our resistance to Sharia will be directly proportional to our Christian faith. A secular Europe will easily succomb to their Muslim conquerors - without a moral compass, one soon can’t even recognize evil, let alone have the will or resolve to defeat it.
Billy Mays, PLEASE turn off the caps lock.
#98 - LMAO, STOP SHOUTING BILLY, We are right here.
(thought I was reading an arbitration agreement there….)
You have got to be kidding my there is such a thing as a Muslim scientist next thing the are going to tell me is the Easter Bunny is real.
“Koranic precedents for modern science”
Sounds like a great class to offer the public schools in California.
I hope that most Muslims outside of Saudi Arabia realize that when they “face” Mecca to pray daily that they are more than likely not facing Mecca at all due to the shape of the earth. I also hope they realize that the origination of the modern day Burqa is a result of nomads protecting their skin from the desert extremes while they traveled around performing daily chores.
Aside from that, what a circus. The Soviets tried the same thing and failed miserably. This group will fail epicly because the bases for their belief is inconsistent and counterproductive towards the progression of life.
Heh wait a minute, didn’t Muslim mathematicians invent the number zero? (0)
(to represent the amount of space in thier head).
HAVE YOU TRIED MY ORANGE GLO?
I did try Mightyputty and pulled like three 747’s down the highway.
Eet looks like the spheencter of Allah after sampling the Flameante at Taco Cabana!
Counting down…to the world caliphate?
Anti…Christ? Has anybody asked, really?
If future sharia watches run backwards, and everything everywhere along with a few of our politicians are pointing toward Mecca, there could a distinct possibility that Pennsylvania Avenue in D.C. will be moved to also point in that direction and focus there rather than at the White (or name your color) House.
Was I the only one reminded of the new calendar the revolutionists made up during the French Revolution? *That* certainly worked…
now there’s an oxymoron
May your bombs always hit when and where you want them to.
How long before someone from the left starts using mecca time, “just to show respect”.
Which way does a Muslim face when he is in Mecca, toward the Vatican?
Yet, this probably won’t preclude a lot of Muslims from immigrating to England and living in London.
Billy Mays,
I was wondering when people would make the connection to THE Billy Mays. You gotta stay true to yourself. When you have great products like OxiClean, Orange Glo, and Mighty Putty, you need to shout it from the rooftops. Blog etiquette be damned! KEEP THE CAPS LOCK ON, AND KEEP THOSE GREAT PRODUCTS COMING!
While I utterly disagree with what the Qur’an teaches, I must remind people on these boards that there *ARE* Muslim scientists. I worked with on for 3 years and he was a really nice guy. Disagreed with him on religious issues, but he was still a nice guy.
Let’s not descend into DailyKOS with the stereotypes please.
Next they’ll be proposing we replace Mendelian genetics with the Orgasmic Theory of Heredity.
And if a man’s discharge proceeded that of the woman, then the child resembles the father, and if the woman’s discharge proceeded that of the man, then the child resembles the mother.” - The Hadith (Sahih Bukhari)
You guys do know that (urban legend?) story about the suicide bombers who blew up prematurely due to time switching?
Only example I could dig up was from Epoch News:
In September 1999, to accommodate the Jewish prayer schedule for the holydays, Israel turned its clocks back earlier than normal. The Palestinian West Bank, refusing to comply with “Zionest Time,” did not. This saved the lives of countless Israelis when two coordinated bombs went off an hour prematurely while still being transported by Palestinian terrorists. Apparently, the terrorist on either side of the border hadn’t coordinated their watches.
Bend over and I’ll show you the direction of Mecca from anywhere on the earth.
the easter bunny isn’t real???
:-0
Okay now THAT was funny. I do, however, believe the joke was lost on some here. =)
Yes there’s that, or imagine their surprise when they find out that there may be 72 virgins waiting for them, but it was never specified male or female virgins >=)
The Royal Observatory makes no absurd claim of being the “true center of the earth”, it just makes sense to start the time zones from where your own location. The concept of global travel was new at time, and the Brits should be given credit were credit is due.
But if you want to divide the world into Dar al-Islam and Dar al-Harb, then it’s important to separate yourself from the Kafr, robbing them of their scientific advances while claiming moral superiority.
I guess Millar time is out the window.
I wonder when they will start using a calendar for the lunar cycles instead of the local imman.
is this b/c the bombs they blow themselves up with are set to watches?
I am glad that I will probably be dead before the world truly goes to hell.
They sure have!
No but it does remind me of the petty arrogance of trying to replace BC with BCE so some people won’t have to be reminded of the religious roots of the Gregorian calendar.
In response we should insist they use the Julian calender. Thats what they call a Mexican standoff but we got no Mexicans..oh wait hold on
http://webexhibits.org/calendars/calendar-christian.html
They may think Mecca is the center of the universe but IMHO if you wanted to check the worlds rectal temperature, there’s where I’d stick the probe!
I don’t know, guys:
I think the fact that the watch runs backwards says it all… anything more is gilding the lily.
- martin.musculus