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All eyes on PA; 8pm: Polls closed, "competitive" race is "too close to call;" 8:50pm: Fox calls it for Hillary, MSNBC follows; 10:15pm: Obama falls flat in Philly, Hillary basks. "Yes, we will"…now send me money!

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By Michelle Malkin  •  April 22, 2008 05:35 PM

Hillary’s theme song tonight: Ha, ha, ha. Stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive…

Scroll down for updates…

Polls close at 8pm Eastern in the Keystone State.

I’m waiting in the studio to do a Fox News segment on Billbo’s latest eruption in a few minutes.

FNC is reporting a few new exit poll results…

Take with the usual grain of salt.

– Crackerquiddick fallout? Gun owners went for Hillary over Obama, 58 percent 42 percent.

– BO gets the college-educated vote, 54 – 46.

– Who’s more negative and “unfair?” Hillary over BO, 67 – 49.

Stay tuned.

Waaaay to early to think these are worth anything, but Drudge is touting the Hillary/Obama 52-48 early exits. More at HA.

No matter the outcome, Hillary’s not going anywhere.

More intra-party bickering. More Purple Fits of Rage to come. More Clintonian fables to be uncovered More Obama-supporting nutballs to be discovered. Bring it on!

7:46pm Eastern. The media narrative of the night: Divisiveness is turning every one off…

Despite all the down-to-the-wire campaigning, preliminary exit poll results indicate that nearly eight in 10 Pennsylvania voters made up their minds at least a week ago, and six in 10 decided on their candidate more than a month ago — a higher number of early deciders than the norm in Democratic primaries to date.

As far as campaigning, many discern a negative tone  and more blame it on Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., than on Barack Obama, D-Ill. Two-thirds of Pennsylvania voters in preliminary exit poll results say Clinton attacked Obama unfairly; fewer, but still about half, also say Obama unfairly attacked Clinton.

Late deciders are going for Clinton over Obama, 58-42, sez CNN.

8:02pm Eastern. Polls are closed. The cable nets pronounce it a “competitive” race that’s “too close to call.”

While we wait for the verdict, be sure to check out See-Dubya’s handy guide to which terrorists support which Democrat candidates.

8:24pm Eastern. Tidbit from Allah at the HA liveblog: “Operation Chaos mythbusted? Among people who switched their registration from GOP to Democrat, Obama wins 55/40.”

8:50pm Eastern. FNC calls it for Hillary, with 1 percent of precincts reporting.

8:52pm Eastern. MSNBC projects for Hillary.

Now, the important question: By how much?

8:55pm Eastern. Bill Bennett joking about Hillary and Obama pandering to working-class voters: “She did shots better than he bowled.”

8:56pm Eastern. CNN explaining why it’s not calling the race yet…waiting for Center City returns…nothing from Scranton yet…not enough results to make a call…

9:26pm Eastern. CNN has finally called it for Hill. FNC says Hill might run “Chicken Obama” ads mocking his pulling out of the NC debate.

Bob Casey is shilling for Obama. Casey says Obama was the underdog.

McAuliffe says Hillary was the underdog.

Everyone’s an underdog.

9:30pm Eastern. Current spread from actual poll returns: Hill/Obama: 53-47.

Here’s a Tuzla photoshop flashback to celebrate Hill’s triumph tonight. Credit: commenter franksalterego’s.

1bosn2.jpg

10:00pm Eastern. My eyes, my eyes. FNC is running that stomach-emptying Pelosi-Gingrich global warming ad.

10:05pm Eastern. At CNN.com, here’s what the PA returns map looks like right now:

1apenn.jpg

10:18pm Eastern. Hillary’s on stage. Bill has escaped from his cage. He’s standing behind her.

1ahillpa.jpg

The crowd is screaming, “Yes, she can!”

Recounting her blue-collar roots again. Will she pull out a shot?

10:23pm Eastern. Hillary grinning from ear to ear, whipping out the gender card, recounting little girls sitting on their mothers’ shoulders whispering, “See, you can be anything you want.”

Yes, you can be a professional pathological liar, too, and get away with it, just like me!

10:25pm Eastern. Hillary takes a crack at the See-Dubya-coined Crackerquiddick: Tips her hat to waitresses and police officers and other regular folks. “You deserve a champion who stands with you.”

10:27pm Eastern. GREEN JOBS!

Superhero Hillary will solve global warming, save science, cure autism, Alzheimer’s, AND diabetes!

10:32pm Eastern. Hillary thanks Bill and Chelsea. Do I see her gritting her teeth? Hillary thanks her loser brothers, her mom.

“As long as you stand with me, I’ll always get right back up…So let me ask you: Will we once again be the can-do nation, the nation that defies the odds and does the impossible? Will we break the barriers…reach out to the world and lead by the power of our ideas? Take back the White House and the country?”

Lame.

“My answer to any who doubt is ‘Yes, we will.'”

The cable talking heads say she’s “energized.” I found her perfunctory.

The most animated she became was when she plugged her website and begged for money.

10:37pm Eastern. With 74 percent of precincts reporting, Hillary’s ahead by 8 percent.

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Categories: 2008 campaign, 2012 Campaign, Barack Obama, John McCain

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