Coconut-cracking tips for Hillary Clinton
The Smartest Woman in the World shows her “softer” side by admitting that neither she nor the He-Man knew how to open a coconut when Chelsea was younger. Cackle, cackle! I honestly don’t know what demographic she’s trying to appeal to here, but I know the story sounds as phony as her Tuzla sniper fire tall tales:
Forget about policy speeches and wooing superdelegates. For Hillary Rodham Clinton, Saturday morning was devoted to chick chat — a panel discussion with a group of working moms on topics ranging from girl-on-girl violence to her daughter’s early dating years.
“Chelsea was a teenager in White House, which meant that the Secret Service went on her dates,” the Democratic presidential contender said on a panel hosted by the Web site momlogic.com. “A lot of her girlfriends’ mothers loved it when they double dated because there was a guy with a gun in the front seat.”
Clinton also acknowledged that for Chelsea’s boyfriends, “It was really intimidating to talk to her father. And, I guess, to me.”
Clinton joined the panel from North Carolina, where she was campaigning before the state’s primary Tuesday. She took questions from a largely-female audience in a high school auditorium here.
The mostly lighthearted discussion focused mainly on how Clinton had balanced work and family when Chelsea, now 28, was growing up. But it also produced a few revelations.
The former first lady said that when Chelsea was a little girl, the family would organize a group activity most Wednesday nights, like going to a movie or hitting tennis balls.
One family night involved a coconut, Clinton said.
“Chelsea said she had heard about coconuts, but had never seen one. So we went to a store and bought a coconut and took it home,” Clinton recalled. “Bill and I, between us, had 50 years of education but we could not get the coconut open. We were throwing it on the driveway, we were beating it with a hammer. We were so embarrassed.”
Maybe the Hillary Nutcracker would work.
***
There are plenty of ways to do it, but this is one of the more amusing methods. Watch carefully, Hill, so you’ll be ready on Day One:
***
Allah’s got the vid of Hillary’s chick chat. She’s growing on you, AP.
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That’s a shock. I would have thought cracking nuts would have been a breeze for HRC.
A lovely bunch of coconuts…those Clintons.
Ahem.
Time for a jumbo model?
D’oh, you linked that. Never mind.
Beating a coconut with a hammer is mild compared to what will happen to Bill Richardson if the Clintons get back in the White House. He should have a ticket to Caracas standing by just in case.
Zing!
Had I been a teenage boy meeting Bill Clinton, I would not have been intimidated. I would have been trying to get tips on how to pick up the ladies.
Hillary loves to make up stories. We’re gonna have to start referring to her as Hans Christian Klinton.
Intimidating talking to the queen of B!tches? Naaaah!
This looks like something at which Bill would be a natural.
The Clintons have been stomping the cocoanuts of their political oponents for decades.
More Clinton bull.
Not to be believed at this point.
Man…I bet that was like dealing with 2 dads instead of one…..that had to suck for the boyfriends!
A machete works well on coconuts….but I can’t see Hill or Bill ever wielding one or even know where to get one for that matter.
The Filipina wife can crack a coconut in about five seconds. Scary huh? She cracks it on cement or pavement. She looks more impressive than the Kun-fu dude. I don’t need showmanship to open a coconut. I just use my Marine Corps Ka-bar. One crack from the old Ka-bar always does the trick.
Semper Fi’
Carry on, carry out the POD
/s/
the guerilla
With that big hinder of hers she could sit on the coconut and it would probably hatch.
Watching that video I thought he might crack it with his head.
If Hillary did that it might knock some sense into her.
“Bill and I, between us, had 50 years of education [...] we were beating it with a hammer. We were so embarrassed.”
Aside from the very real possibility that this story is another Clinton family fiction, my question is “Is this episode what passes as ‘embarrasing’ to you two?”
I’m just not getting this picture of Bill and Hill driving off to the local Safeway to pick up a coconut to show to Chelsea. I mean, don’t they have people to do this kind of thing?
I bet they know how to crack open the door of Airforce One.
They couldn’t crack it open with a hammer? It always worked for me. But I guess lying doesn’t build up your muscles like working does.
Double dates for Chelsea??
Bill and Monica, Chelsea and ???.
Vince Foster driving he limo.
Is Oliver Stone out there reading this?
Oliver? Oh Oleeeeevah???
You can share the loot Oleeeeevah!
Backwood, all Rodham had to do was put that COCONUT atwixt her more than ample thighs and……….GOT MILK!!!!
Ahhh, news flash Hillary, takes more brawn than brains to open a coconut (if ya know where the sweet spot is of course).
#20 - libocrat. lol.
(there is also the option of the cankles)….lol
Knowing the Clintons’ m.o., Hillary probably called Andrews Air Force Base and ordered a General to get out of bed to come over and crack the coconut.
Never saw a coconut? Poor sheltered child.
This proves, without a doubt, that all the education in the world sometimes won’t make you smarter than a coconut.
I bet Brazil nuts are also smarter than the Cintons.
ALL YOU NEED TO OPEN A COCONUT IS A TIRE IRON. USE THE POINTY END TO STRIP OFF THE HUSK AND THEN SMACK IT WITH THE BAR TO CRACK IT OPEN.
(THE BACK OF A VERY LARGE KNIFE IS ACTUALLY THE BEST THING TO USE TO CRACK OPEN THE HARD BROWN SHELL)
Back in my flying days we used the crash axe from a KC-135A when flying around some of the tropical islands in the Pacific. Piece of cake! I was able to visit some exotic spots like Wake Island, Guam, and the every popular Diego Garcia (middle of nowhere Indian Ocean before women were allowed on the island).
Ah now, c’mon Michelle…she was obviously laying some groundwork for Guam
Everyone knows you can make Chicken Kelaguen without coconut.
We didn’t know how to open a coconut the first time we got one, either. It took about 12 seconds of contemplation before we came up with “Let’s try a machete.” Worked perfectly. If we didn’t have a machete, I’m absolutely positive our next idea would have involved a large kitchen knife. Remind me again why she’s supposedly “the smartest woman in the world?”
Yeah, disarm everyone else though.
And yes, I can see the First Lady and the kid at Whole Foods picking up a coconut - but have you seen the price lately?
I’m surprised errant sniper fire didn’t crack it open. Or the lady with the angry vagina.
The other lady with the angry vagina!
MMMmmmmmm!!!!! Chicken Kelaguen!!!
Oh yeah! Back to Hillary…right… right…..she lies so much she can’t remember when she told the truth last!
Well Hillary, at least you can donate it to Barack so he can improve his Bowling score.
I like to use a 7mm Remington Magnum at 100 yards. Great fun, but a little expensive to only find a few pieces.
How does a high school diploma, bachelors degree, and a JD times 2 equal 50 years?
(12+4+3) =(19) X (2) = 34
HS + BS + JD (x) Bill and Hill = 34
Maybe they need remedial math….. unless they repeated a few courses.
That explains a lot about how they look at economic policy, actually.
all you money / all our socialist goals = budget
woops… my math isn’t much better. 19 X 2 = 38… Oh well, I am a knuckledragger. But at least I check my own work. And they still missed the answer by 12.
How about her not knowing how to use the coffee machine. What a couple of losers.