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Happy Mother’s Day: Everyday conversations with my 7-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son

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By Michelle Malkin  •  May 11, 2008 10:34 AM

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i.

Good morning!
Love you.
Love you, too.
Love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.

ii.

Make sure you brush your hair.
Did you brush your hair?
Gimme the hair brush.
No, I’m not doing it too hard.
You don’t know what too hard is.

You are very beautiful today.

iii.

Do you need to go to the potty?
Did you flush?
Did you wash your hands?
Did you flush?
Wait a minute, your pants are on backwards!

You are very handsome today.

iv.

Both of you: Get your shoes.
Where are your shoes?
What’s up with your shoes?
Tie your shoes. Put on your shoes.
Wait a minute, your shoes are on backwards!

v.

Everybody in the car.
Everybody in the car NOW.
Choppity-chop-chop.
I’m going to count to three:
One, two, two-and-a-half, chop …

Be a good girl.
Be a good boy.
Love you.
Love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.

vi.

How was school?
Did anybody bite you?
Who spit on you?
What was your snack?
You did the monkey bars? Good for you!

So, how was school?
Did you learn anything?
Math? Spelling? Anything?
No, don’t worry about the rainforest.
You did the monkey bars, too? Good for you!

vii.

No, you cannot check your e-mail now.
I said no.
No, you cannot play Super Smash Brothers now.
No.
Nope.

Negative.
Oh-nay.
Don’t make me repeat myself.
I said: Don’t make me repeat myself.
Didn’t I just say don’t make me repeat myself?

***

viii.

Who’s there?
Banana who?
Who’s there?
Banana who?
Who’s there?
Banana who?

HAHAHAHAHA.

Again?

Who’s there?
Banana who?
Who’s there?
Banana who?
Who’s there?
Banana who?

HAHAHAHAHA.

No, not again!

***

ix.

Hey, come downstairs. It’s time to eat.
Did you wash your hands?
Now, go back upstairs and dry your hands.
What, did you get lost? Get back down here.
It’s time to eat!

Eat the carrot.
Eat more carrots.
Ice cream?
Not until you finish your carrots.

I’ll get you your milk.
Just don’t spill the milk.
Make sure you don’t spill the—
Get the paper towels.

***

x.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
Amen.

Nighty-night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.

See you in the morning!
Love you.
Love you, too.
Love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.

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