“Top Ten Ways the Democrat National Convention Could Be Even Lamer”
Posted in: 2008 campaign, Democrats
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Categories: 2008 campaign, Democrats
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“I feel your pain.” – Bill
bottled water is being banned? wait a minute….this is sacrilege!
11. Delegates bring their favorite vegetables from Whole Foods and leave them in a pile in front of Al Gore.
12. All of their speeches are nothing but inspirational bumper-sticker slogans, just like Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s speeches.
Mimes, huh? Probably the only thing worth listening to at the DNC convention.
Goog one, AG.
Maybe they have a food pairing with those veggies and expensive Italian hams?
so no balloons to celebrate? to be earth friendly, those balloons have to go..
12. Put all of the competing factions (e.g., Environuts, Islamofascists, non-nukers, vegans, etc.) into a caged WWE ring and let them battle it out.
Two out of three falls into submission gets you a plank in the party’s election platform.
Sorry. “Goog” should be good. *blush*
Another reason….they don’t see the humor in … humorous web sites.
13. Dance lessons with the Obama kids.
14. Chalk art. Whose outline drawing looks most like the super delegate found in the park?
Hell=A room full of mimes and freestyle poets.
4. Keynote speaker:
Walter MondaleAl Franken.I just hurled.
Personally, I’m going to break out the popcorn and enjoy the floor riots between the Obamaniacs and Billary thugs.
4. Keynote speakers: Mr. Ed and the gay teletubby.
Lol.
Thanks Barry
15. Pemican making seminars. Turn that $100 ham into jerky – handy for a quick snack while waiting to hurl yourself in front of a Bradley Fighting Vehicle being unloaded at a port near you. Taught by “Native American” Ward Churchill (though not his own recipe.)
*shiver*
16. BetaMax tapes on sale – “How I almost Won” featuring Walter Mondale.
I hope we get to see the scene when they inevitably catch delegates with BBQ, bottled water, McDonald’s food, non-fair trade coffee, on-and-on.
17. A thong walk-off between lgm and Ted Kennedy a la Zoolander.
Barry — how would you tell the difference??
17, lecturre by The Gore Loser on electoral votes vs. Popular vote.
Denver is contributing
CBS 4 denver
Denver Spruces Up Public Art Ahead Of Convention
DENVER (AP) ― Denver is spending about $200,000 to spruce up some of its public art ahead of this summer’s Democratic National Convention.
Seven prominent pieces are being cleaned, repainted and repaired in preparation for the August convention.
Crews are targeting pieces that convention-goers are most likely to see.
Among them is Donald Lipski’s “The Yearling,” a horse standing on a giant red chair outside the downtown public library. The horse has been removed so the chair can be repainted.
Repair funds are part of a $550 million bond issue voters approved last year for maintenance projects.
Denver has nearly 300 pieces of public art.
Don’t miss the bumper sticker booth. My favorite “Am too a Capitalist’ – Mr. O”. These are free, paid for by a government earmark…
Each two minute session will be lead by Geraldo Rivera (Spittle guards cost extra).
7. Code Pinkos Striptease as opening act to Mimes.
No chance eeyore, those are carefully hidden on all those Gulfstream jets these environmentalists ride around in.
18. A tower-building exhibition.
*Gasp*
Oooooh geeeeez, Tiger!
The images that conjures up! I think you just scarred me for life.
Wow Michelle, pictures of clowns and mimes in the same morning is too much. I’m really starting to get twitchy here.
Any more agitation and I’m likely to go off with a diatribe against the Dems of epic proportions.
I know the year isn’t even half over, but my nomination of most over-used phrase of the year is “carbon footprint”.
Good one.
19. One square of TP per conventioneer
20. Hire that pink freak from San Francisco and the Breasts not Bombs crew to be the greeters
21. Hourly drum circles
22. Giant alter to Gaia
The caricature would only be reminiscent of the posterior of the old symbol, Marci.
Really TT,
You used to be funny. Now you are down right terrifying!
[note to self, buy more brain bleach]
23. nominate Obambi for presidential candidate.
24. nominate Obambi/Clinton as the DNC ticket
I hope they’ll hand out free nose plugs to those poor people.
Hey now… don’t Dis our downtown Cows….
And as to Mimes, I’m sorry, they do emit Carbon, because they do breathe…
and I can’t think of a larger waste of the breathe of life, than Mimes…
/shudder…
4. Keynote speaker:
Walter MondaleJuan McCainRage Boy. You know, to fire up the crowd – jihad style… oh yeah.Every good Democrat knows that the fruit of the flock, and not the fruit of the ground, is appropriate for the Goracle.
Nope. Conservatives have bought up all the nose plugs on the market for November.
Won’t that put the Breasts not Bombs gals out of work?
I predict that the Al Jazeera correspondent will complain about the delegates constantly surrendering to him.
How about a Spencer Tunick photo booth?
25. Competition to see who can recite the Communist Manifesto verbatim.
24. A Robert Reich tossing contest
Tiger, if you keep this up, I’m going to have to beg Soap for some of that “brain bleach.”
Where is this man?
Count Floriduh!
Your ignorance must be bliss. Most of you are sadly underestimating the stupidity of the Denver government (any other Denverites want to meet up during the convention?).
Truth is stranger than Fiction.
That’s right: Daniel Peltz will present his new work, Participatory Democracy and the future of Karaoke, in which Peltz transcribes public addresses by presidential candidates in the 2008 election into a karaoke format to be presented and performed at bars, clubs and restaurants across Denver.
How about an Ernesto (a.k.a. Che)Guevara look-a-like contest?
25. NARAL gang hosts a “spin the cannula” contest
Barry F:
The horror! The horror!
26. Nancy Pelosi dunk tank. First successful player wins because she melts.
26. Mimes performing The Vagina Monologues?
I heard they were planning a Burka theme….
The lamest it could get would be for participating politicians to give their standard boring stump speeches and put audiences into a coma.
Can conservatives tailgate outside in the parking lot? Nothing eco at all. No Libs allowed.
I’d throw a pig on a spit. Turn a side of beef. Burgers, brats, hot dogs, chicken. My Mom’s killer potato salad. My wife will make some great Filipino dishes.
Just a All-American party, while the commies eat huddle inside with their phony environmental concerns.
Water balloons at the ready for code pink or any other moonbat morons that try to ruin our good time.
26. One big cuddle party
27. Breakout sessions on how to help Michelle Obama’s kids.
Am I too late to get the Burka booth? How about the goat and TOFU shiskabob concession?
I think there are some great opportunities to make some quick cash here.
28. Cruelty-free tofu.
I like that one.
I call dibs on the Kool-Aid® stand!!!
Think I need to plan a summer trip to Denver …
Anyone want to join me in setting up a burger and fries and hot dog stand 100 feet outside the security lines … sounds like an excellent opportunity to take back a lot of money from the Dems while all that “Nan-Food” sits and rots inside the convention …
29. Makeup tips by Alan Colmes
29. Workshops on how to hold hearings to investigate the latest outrage.
Fixed that for you …
The Neanderthal party. All that food we ship around the world to regions unfit for human habitat on the current scale? Too much AGW there for me I cant bear the fact that we are contributing in this way it has to stop. Local food for local peoples, don’t have any? Tough, take it up with the neandercrats. I don’t think its unreasonable that in the future we will see the demonization of the wheel the banning of fire and toilets will go the way of the horse and buggy, replaced with a community hole in the ground. We will all live in the dark and communicate with a couple of cans and some fishing line or maybe not, those two things will probably be outlawed as well.
Hmmm… may be onto somthing… as they can’t have bottled water (plastic ya know…)..
Obama-Aid? Black Cherry (or would that be racist)…
WildHillary? Starts strong but leaves a bitter aftertaste?
JT and DesertLover – Sign me up. I’ll bring plastic bags and styrofoam containers for leftovers. (I can also bring pies, I bake a mean pie… just not sure yet how to use them to tick off libs.)
Just YUK! I cannot think of one viable reason to even consider what this “affair” would be like. I am going to go back to my oatmeal now, at least I can pretend to enjoy that mush when it is coated with enough sugar.
Make them apple pies, RR. Anything really American ticks them off.
May I recommend baking some of your preferred pies for the enjoyment of those Conservatives who wish to join you in your entertainment. I would also recommend another line of colored cream pies that you could sell to the libs to toss at their least favored candidates.
I hear such acts are very popular with the libs … especially regarding politics and political gatherings when there is someone with whom they wish to express a point of disagreement.
Then again, in a perverse sort of way, that would make it more entertaining and not “lamer”. It was just a thought.
RaisedRight
How about naming the pies things like …
Obamanation Mystery Pie … Something different with every slice …
Clintonian Bourbon Pecan Pie … Full of nuts with a built in chaser …
30. They could rename it the Republican National Convention.
When is their Goracle’s worship service at the alter of global warming scheduled to take place?
31. Topo Giggio (Catering to the Animal Rights groups…a hand puppet mouse, with an Italian accent, that would scare the GOP elephant.)
It would be even more lame if Hillary Clinton is there trying to get elected with her counterpart Adulterous Red Faced Devil and daughter Plastic Surgery Susan.
Wow… I guess I just wasn’t thinking hard enough. Okay, apple pies to be enjoyed by those who don’t hate America. Colored cream pies – only in red, green, yellow, blue/purple, and white, of course – for throwing. And maybe a “candidate pie” competion.
She’s a Cougar in my book.
“7. Celebratory balloons being dropped on crowd replaced with much more biodegradable dyed hay.”
Can they drop it in the form of complete hay bales?
Or maybe hay that has already been through the horse?
LOL….Denver’s’ only a coupla hours away. I havn’t made my mind up yet to observe it in person or just fire up the boob tube with some fresh buttered popcorn. Either way I’ll bet it’s a better circus than Barnum and Bailey’s.
Since its all about recycling, make it hay from mucked stalls.
Someone needs to stake out the adult entertainment venues for those pics of the delegates looking to enhance their convention experience.
We could host the pics and videos here for extra fun…
Let’s have a large carbon footprint with a Patriotic bonfire for any troops that show up.
This is what I’ll miss about Teddy. Who’s gonna pick up the mantle letcherous drunken lout of the senate? Drunken nights in Palm beach chasing girls 1/3 his age without any pants on. Ah… the memories. They just don’t make ‘em as un-PC as Teddy anymore.
Will voters/delegates/Super delegates disenfranchised by HOWARD DEAN be allowed to go to the convention? Howard Dean is my hero HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!
How can Demoncrats explain the disenfranchisement of voters? Doesn’t every vote count? FRIGGIN BIGGEST HYPOCRITES and FAKE PEOPLE on earth!!! If I was from Michigan or Florida I certainly wouldn’t vote Demoncrat if I was one. Oh darn thats right, JSM is just about the same as one. OH well…..
11. People all over the world
Join hands
Start a Love Train, Love Train!
12. Affirmative Action for Hookers: All hookers must represent disadvantaged classes of gender, attractiveness and Body Mass Index.
How about a contest timing how fast a group can raise a white flag and surrender to the enemy?
I finally got a chance to view this at home. The DOD doesn’t want me to be able to go to this site at work. It was worth the wait.
My Top 10.
10. Get Yoko Ono to sing ‘Give Peace a Chance’ instead of playing the National Anthem.
9. Get the Dixie Chicks to hold a group ‘Ashame-in’ with Michelle Obama.
8. Make the delegates ride stationary bicycle generators to provide power to the convention.
7. Hold a bake sale to pay for carbon offsets required to bake the goods.
6. Show the film ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner’ at the pre-convention warm up.
5. Offer up recycled party platforms for the coming election.
4. Tax all conventioneers with shoes $10 to get them used to the idea if they win in November.
3. Have security rough up a CBS news person on camera to get that 1968 convention feel rolling in the hall.
2. Make conventioneers ‘Poo in the Woods’ to save paper and water resources.
1. Have Bill Clinton tell ‘Your momma is so fat’ jokes between keynote speakers.
Let them eat condoms.
Goog IS Not good, or is?
DNC theme song “Burn, Baby, Burn”? Oh please, that would be goog, good, whatever. Denver can use the fire insurance to replace their art.
DNC Denver laugh – in must include several improvements: (1) Convention wide die-in during prime time; (2) Ban all white males except gays; (3) phony Iraq/Afgan war veterans must storm the stage and call for Senator Kerry to join them in denouncing all US military personnel as murderers; (4) announce that the Convention all menial jobs and food service is being provided by illegal aliens; (5) Hugo Chavez to give keynote speech; (6) DNC platform to call for the destruction of Israel; (7) All food to be cooked using burning Bibles; (8) Come on folks – if I go any further its gonna get rally ugly!