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Business news update

By see-dubya  •  June 4, 2008 11:15 AM

This just in from the world o’ business: the J.M. Smucker jam company is making a major acquisition:

Jams and jellies maker J.M. Smucker made a $2.95 billion bid for more of the breakfast table Wednesday, announcing all-stock deal for Folgers coffee.

So what new company do you get when you merge Folgers and Smuckers?

My razor-keen marketing instincts tell me their options are pretty much limited to “Smolgers”.

______________

{Post by See-Dubya. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.}

Posted in: Fun

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  1. #1
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:17 am, jrlingreenbay said:

    Terms of Service preclude the other possible name, I suppose….

    :)

  2. #2
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:18 am, Henry said:

    LMAO!!

    I just figured out what the other possible name could be. This is a family site, so I will refrain….

    ;)

  3. #3
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:20 am, cpodug said:

    Of course, John … besides, somehow I can’t picture that in the grocery store on the shelves. And how would they ever explain the print ads? How about the FCC for all their radio and TV ads? Although, truth be known, it might make for a great Super Bowl moment.

  4. #4
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:21 am, tropicalwave12 said:

    I used to eat at a restaurant called fudruckers. Hard to pronounce with a couple of downed brewski’s. Well, either way, Smucker’s couldn’t do any worse to Folgers… that stuff is terrible.

  5. #5
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:26 am, hawkeye54 said:

    With a name like Smolgers it has to be good!

    Maybe they can use Smeagle? (From LOTR) for Smolgers as a spokesperson.

    The way its going, there’s just going to be one corporation that owns everything.

  6. #6
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:29 am, loob said:

    Yes, it must be Smolgers. The alternative is unthinkable.

  7. #7
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:31 am, cpodug said:

    loob

    Apparently not that unthinkable - seems like we all thought it! :twisted:

  8. #8
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:32 am, DanMan said:

    Very good see-dubya, I needed a laugh and that one paid off.

  9. #9
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:35 am, hawkeye54 said:

    The alternative is unthinkable.

    “The coffee who’s name must not be spoken!”

    Yeah, memorable product tag line there.

    It must be Smolgers : )

  10. #10
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:37 am, Bigurn said:

    I do business with both of these companies, and we had heard that Folger’s would split into its own company. I guess that didn’t quite make sense.

    Smucker’s is a wonderful U.S. company, and should be congratulated for their combination of sound business practices and high ethical/moral conduct.

    tropicalwave, Folger’s is routinely rated badly in taste, but is the best selling coffee in the U.S. Go figure!

  11. #11
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:39 am, John Ansell said:

    LMAO, Why not Suckers?

  12. #12
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:43 am, ezupirate75 said:

    Floggers and Suckers.

  13. #13
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am, hawkeye54 said:

    Folger’s is routinely rated badly in taste, but is the best selling coffee in the U.S. Go figure!

    Is there something up with my tastebuds? I like Folgers. How can Mrs. Olson be wrong? You do remember her, or is my age showing? : )

  14. #14
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am, backwoods conservative said:

    This reminds me of another name game from a few years ago. Word got out that there would be a joint venture between GM and Toyota. Speculation was it would be called a Toyolet.

  15. #15
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am, 30 pcs of silver said:

    There’s this:

    tropicalwave, Folger’s is routinely rated badly in taste, but is the best selling coffee in the U.S. Go figure!

    Then this:

    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:39 am, John Ansell said:
    LMAO, Why not Suckers?

    Truth in advertising? :-)

  16. #16
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am, pabarge said:

    LMAO (not)

  17. #17
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am, jrlingreenbay said:

    I’d like to see the “other” name, myself….

    Can you imagine going into the store and asking, “Where is your #*@&er’s jelly?” … only to be directed to the pharmacy aisle?

    ( Think on it a minute, it’ll come to you )

  18. #18
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:53 am, backwoods conservative said:

    Sorry, jrl, they’re all out of it. It went with the relief effort to Burma!

  19. #19
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:54 am, jrlingreenbay said:

    Nice one, Backwoods… LOL

  20. #20
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:55 am, MikeOK said:

    No, they make that kind of jelly in Kentucky.

  21. #21
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:57 am, Gator70 said:

    Man, I needed a laugh like that. That’s going to crack me up all day.

  22. #22
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:57 am, walterc said:

    hawkeye54 said:

    Is there something up with my tastebuds? I like Folgers. How can Mrs. Olson be wrong? You do remember her, or is my age showing? : )

    I was just picturing Mrs. Olsen saying the other name option with a major blush attack. How funny would that be?

  23. #23
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:57 am, MNUSMCDavid said:

    Well the obvious name for the merger, while not being acceptable here, would certainly describe the cretins sitting in Congress’s “hallowed halls” right about now.

  24. #24
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:59 am, Goldwater Knight said:

    So what new company do you get when you merge Folgers and Smuckers?

    Now I know why you blog for Michelle.

  25. #25
    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:59 am, MikeOK said:

    “How can Mrs. Olsen be wrong?”

    Ha-ha! Here she is:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed3vswxJKgI

    Is Folger’s still “mountain grown”?

  26. #26
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:00 pm, jrlingreenbay said:

    Perfect companion to SanFranNan’s new menu options….

    Served at all Congressional snack bars…

  27. #27
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:01 pm, josetheguerilla said:

    My razor-keen marketing instincts tell me their options are pretty much limited to “Smolgers”.

    lol

    What about Foluckers? lol

  28. #28
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:01 pm, abstractmind said:

    love it.

    i personally would love to see it as…well, the name that cant be mentioned. Would go well with a morning discussion about liberals ;)

    “So, did you see Oblahma on tv? With hillary…hey, you want some coffee bob?”

    “Yeah, james……..f@#$%s”

    “Bob, do you mean the coffee, or the candidates?”

    *grin*

    The

  29. #29
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:01 pm, BrianF1967 said:

    One Corporation (Middle East) owning the companies based in the US utilizing China to make all the products. We’ll be the middle managers of the WorldCorp.

  30. #30
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:04 pm, Teddy Kennedy said:

    errah I heard that ” Can’t believe it’s not Butter” may be buying the lot. errah!

  31. #31
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:06 pm, Teddy Kennedy said:

    Errah HDQTRed in SF errah.

  32. #32
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:22 pm, RedDog said:

    I’m thinking Meet The Folkers.

  33. #33
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:30 pm, Ian said:

    That made me LOL.

  34. #34
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:35 pm, Floyd R. Turbo said:

    Uh, huh. The alternative name is obvious. See, where our collective minds run? Nasty bunch, us!

  35. #35
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:39 pm, shooter said:

    How can Mrs. Olson be wrong? You do remember her, or is my age showing? : )

    Who the heck is that?
    (from the days of Astronauts and Tang, yes we’re showing age)

  36. #36
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:48 pm, hawkeye54 said:

    Astronauts and Tang

    You mean the original Mercury 7?? Yikes.

    I need another cup of F*#&ers, er, I mean Folgers.

  37. #37
    On June 4th, 2008 at 12:55 pm, RabbidSquirrel said:

    If you only knew “Mrs” Olsen back in the day like I knew “Mrs” Olsen….

  38. #38
    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:22 pm, traveler49 said:

    I hear Father Pfleger will be looking for a new gig soon. Why not have Pfleger take Mrs. Olsen’s position and then call it Pfluckers.

  39. #39
    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:34 pm, Barry F. said:

    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am, jrlingreenbay said:

    I’d like to see the “other” name, myself….

    Can you imagine going into the store and asking, “Where is your #*@&er’s jelly?” … only to be directed to the pharmacy aisle?

    ( Think on it a minute, it’ll come to you )

    ROFLMAO

    Oh! And, here I was just reading along trying to refrain from making a similar post! :lol:

    On June 4th, 2008 at 11:53 am, backwoods conservative said:

    Sorry, jrl, they’re all out of it. It went with the relief effort to Burma!

    :lol:

  40. #40
    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:37 pm, Lan Astaslem said:

    traveler49 #38:
    ROFLMAO!!!!! :)

  41. #41
    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:38 pm, Barry F. said:

    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:22 pm, traveler49 said:

    I hear Father Pfleger will be looking for a new gig soon. Why not have Pfleger take Mrs. Olsen’s position and then call it Pfluckers.

    After watching his sermons, traveler, they might want to consider only giving him the decaff. ;-)

  42. #42
    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:47 pm, AlohaGuy said:

    If they call it F$%&()s, Mrs. Olsen is going to be a lot younger I bet.

    New Tag:

    “Once you’ve had your F#%%^&*s black, you’ll never go back.”

  43. #43
    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:55 pm, hawkeye54 said:

    “Once you’ve had your F#%%^&*s black, you’ll never go back.”

    You know, this tag line isn’t going to help Michelle Obama’s children.

    Sorry, I just had to say that.

  44. #44
    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:58 pm, Barry F. said:

    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:55 pm, hawkeye54 said:

    Will it make her proud of her country again? Was that over the line? Hmmm? :evil:

  45. #45
    On June 4th, 2008 at 2:16 pm, swmbo said:

    You are all a bunch of goofs and I for one, LOVE IT !!

  46. #46
    On June 4th, 2008 at 2:25 pm, rainbow said:

    I like Folgers too but it has to be dark. The light and medium are not good!

  47. #47
    On June 4th, 2008 at 2:42 pm, bsmarj said:

    How’s about Jam’n Java in your jammies.
    Well not in your jammies>

  48. #48
    On June 4th, 2008 at 2:43 pm, NJMark said:

    Why not have Pfleger take Mrs. Olsen’s position and then call it Pfluckers.

    Thirty years ago, Saturday Night Live gave us the ad “and so, with a name like Fluckers…,”

    “The coffee who’s name must not be spoken!”

    … concluding with the brand “with the name so disgusting, you can’t say it on televsion. Ask for it by name!

  49. #49
    On June 4th, 2008 at 3:15 pm, nbarry said:

    This even beats the old Catskills joke about Schick Razors merging with Fuller Brush to form Fuller Schick.

  50. #50
    On June 4th, 2008 at 3:16 pm, Frankly Opinionated said:

    Name Mergers? I drive a Mazda Pickup, also called a Ranger B series. Needed medallions so I drew and made “Forzda”, and have sold several in my online shop. (see my signature for location)

  51. #51
    On June 4th, 2008 at 3:38 pm, hawkeye54 said:

    Will it make her proud of her country again? Was that over the line? Hmmm?

    Well, I’m sure it’ll make her proud of her coffee again : )

  52. #52
    On June 4th, 2008 at 4:20 pm, traveler49 said:

    On June 4th, 2008 at 1:22 pm, traveler49 said:
    I hear Father Pfleger will be looking for a new gig soon. Why not have Pfleger take Mrs. Olsen’s position and then call it Pfluckers.

    Just adding to my earlier comment. If Father Pfleger takes Mrs. Olsen’s position, I guess you could then call it the missionary position.

  53. #53
    On June 4th, 2008 at 4:58 pm, CleanGuy said:

    If Proctor and Gamble is selling off a brand, it HAS to be pretty derned bad!

  54. #54
    On June 4th, 2008 at 5:01 pm, AlohaGuy said:

    Please don’t let them merge with Dunkin Donuts!

    Dunkin F#%&*^%s. Yikes!

    Racael Ray: “You’ll need about two tablespoons of EVOO and you’ll be good to go.”

  55. #55
    On June 4th, 2008 at 5:04 pm, AlohaGuy said:

    Racael = Rachael of course…

  56. #56
    On June 4th, 2008 at 6:07 pm, zorro said:

    Goot one.

  57. #57
    On June 4th, 2008 at 6:56 pm, graysonret said:

    I buy Folgers 50/50 coffee. I certainly hope I don’t have to use a knife, in the future, to smear the beans all over the coffee filter. Besides, I wonder how a Smolgers and p-nut butter sandwich taste….

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