Gentle environmentalists frustrated by garden-nibbling wildlife; retaliate with brutal, shocking violence
Oh, the humanity:
This NY Times article made me chuckle–for all the green pieties of the Times’ readership, things can turn real ugly when one’s garden is threatened or the herons are using your koi pond for a sushi bar. In addition to the porky-flattening grandma above, pitchforks, drownings, shotguns, and various unspecified violent means are resorted to, sometimes without a pang of guilt, to defend one’s heirloom tomatoes and arugula beds.
Then again, sometimes there’s plenty of guilt and a little new age ritual to absolve it:
Finally, the artist decided he would have to shoot the animals. First, though, he went to each hole and made an announcement.
“I said: ‘I intend to kill you. You have 24 hours to get out,’ ” he recalls. “I wanted to give them fair warning. I said, ‘If I were you, I would find another place to live.’ I also promised them I would not take a shot unless I knew it would be fatal.”
He is making this into a funny story, he says, but when he killed his first woodchuck he “literally felt sick.”
“I went outside and knelt down to it and said a little prayer to whatever the powers that be that when my turn comes, I will do it as gracefully and uncomplainingly.”
Eventually, though, he embraced his mission, and grew so obsessed with it that an aunt began to call him Woodchuck Johnny.
The squirrel drowners–she an environmentalist and lawyer–have gotten eerily desensitized at their rather elaborate squirrel-destruction method Part of me isn’t surprised; if we didn’t effectively rationalize our need to kill pests, our species would have died out long ago. Whacking woodchucks is just as necessary, and not that different from,stepping on crop-devouring locusts, except that the woodchucks are cuter. And gooshier.
Exit question: do you think it’s possible that this whole green thing is just a sham the city folk put up to fool each other?
Nah, couldn’t be.
________________
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Categories: Animal rights wackos,Guns
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Were’s PETA?
They shoot horses, don’t they.
Thanks for starting my morning out on a humorous note
.
I’m a dedicated mole-whacker, myself. Over the years I’ve been responsible for the murders of many moles. My weapons of choice: poison, drownings, electric current running through wet ground, assorted explosives and yes… even firearms.
Yes, yes… I know it’s violent. But darnit, I don’t spend a lot of money making my grass look green and healthy just so those miserable little bastahds can come in and tear it up.
I respect life just as much as anyone else, but this is war dammit!
/Seriously
Ideology is just soooooooo cute, until the reality of it ends up on your doorstep.
Ahh…the inspiring dissonance. Heh.
… and don’t even get me started on the deer.
These folks are just like all the terrorist non-believers that go around preaching and pontificating how their coexistence righteousness towards the world … then … WHAM! … they get a direct hit and have to experience personally the backlash of their stance … so … VOILA! … they take the same action they have been condemning the rest of us for …
Alas … the irony of it all …
All critters are welcome in my backyard. My garden annually submits to their will.
In my oh-so Conservative neighborhood, our deer have their fawns in our backyard. We screen our gardens off, and enjoy the wildlife.
I love the guy who weathered the traumatic experience of killing his first chuck, only to turn into a raging serial killer.
Must be post-traumatic stress disorder.
In order to save the planet, they had to kill it…
On June 6th, 2008 at 8:17 am, radio relay said:
Fixed that fer ya
.
I live in suburban Chicago, I have counted 24 species of birds on my property, including a wayward pelican a couple of weeks ago.
I’m more green than the average libtard, who only TALKS about being green.
On June 6th, 2008 at 8:03 am, Irish Rose said:
… and don’t even get me started on the deer.
At least you can eat them afterward.
When we still lived in the country the only critters I would instantly slaughter were dangerous snakes like the copper heads that seemed thick out there.
The rabbits that seemed to invade our garden were too fast for me. I just never could hit a moving target well.
Susanne Williams should be arrested and fined. you can get traps for free, trap it, and let it loose in the woods. what a Boitch.
Hmmm… I wonder if any of these good folks are closet mole killers/chuck thumpers?
Senator Obama should make note of this and leern the lesson.
The envoinmentalist really tried to speak directly to the pest and negotiate a settlement.
In the end, he had to whack the pest to save his land and the fruits of his labors.
(Subsititute Obama for environmentalist and Iran for pest.)
images of the whack-a-mole game at the arcades …
… mmmm, venison
.
I grew up on a farm… I learned about selective killing early in life.
My evil parents were also hunters.
I’m the product of a bad childhood, you see.
I guess having to compete with other species for sustenance has awoken the primal survival instinct of these planet worshiping tree huggers and turned them into mad dog killers. You think it would be more humane to take the varmints out with a .22 cal or 18 gauge shot gun rather than bludgeoning them to death. Liberals really are scary people. Thanks for the Friday morning chuckle See-Dubya!
Each other and themselves. It (and Global Warming) are narcissistic substitutes for religion.
I think this woman just misses her old job….
seals
This psycho should don a Totenkoph pin on the front of her sun hat.
Where’s Carl Spackler when you need him?
“Kill the golfers?”
#19 Boomer
This has nothing to do with “competing for sustenance”.
Have you figured up the cost of raising organically-grown flowers and produce lately?
Not to mention the significant costs involved in planting a Japanese peace garden, or filling a meditation pool with koi.
If it comes down to losing out on a significant personal investment (time, money or both), I suspect that even the most rabid environmentalist can rationalize killing.
I live on a farm, and we use cats and a dog to do much of our dirty work. Watching a cat dispatch a rabbit is a sight to behold–something one wouldn’t think possible.
Wiser words have never been said.
I live in an apartment in Las Vegas. The most dangerous critters that I have to deal with are crickets, and the cat takes car of that for me.
I love the hypocacy of the liberals though.
I had squirrels in my attic, they got in by some bambo shades I had covering windows on by back porch, they ate a whole in my saufet and went right into nest. They had three babies so I waited for them to leave my attic and took the shades down. It was funny they would get on my picnic table and look up with sad little eyes wondering how they would get back in. They mess with my bird feeders and frolick aimlessly in my vegetable garden so I shoot them in the ars with a pelet gun and I just laugh when they do their flip and run routine and look back with a confused look wondering what just bit them. I love torturing the little bastards.
Thanks Misscheryl for correcting my perception of man against nature! I haven’t been the same since Air Force Survival School in 1979 my instructors were convinced that I would have no problems in a survival situation. There I go again forgetting to follow the money. Hope your Friday is going as well as mine!
For sheer devastation, nothing much beats a full grown raccoon. They’re quick, too, and hard to hit at night. Makes it a real challenge when you have a whole family move in on you. ‘Possum, on the other hand, are fairly stupid and often stop to challenge you for the cat food. Makes them a nice broadside target for a .22.
So after this guy does his Dr. Doolittle impersonation he becomes a bloodlusty serial killer. I would characterize him a a model democrat.
She’s probably a member of PETA – People Eating Tasty Animals. I’d hate to clean that porcupine. She probably gets the point though.
On June 6th, 2008 at 9:25 am, txvet2 said:
They’re also one of the few citified wild-critters with enough balls to fight back
.
Shotgun…preferable the 12 guage varity….full choke.
You don’t have to be as accurate…just within range.
Let me get this straight, this peace loving animal lover is killing small creatures with a SLEDGEHAMMER????
WOW just WOW.
Nearly sprayed orange juice all over my monitor reading about the squirrel drowners.
When you reach over and put your hand in a pile of goo that was your best
friend’s facefertilized-by-your-own-feces heirloom tomato, you’ll know what to do!Not only that, but they are among the most disease ridden… VERMINE WITH A BRAIN! Nothing works better on racoons than your car. I will dodge a chipmonk crossing the road, but a racoon will become my target.
They were really water boarding them to extract information on their commrades.
That’s why I shoot Hippies & Moonbats… With a heavy dose of Malathion from my 10 gallon, high-pressure sprayer. They’re a nuisance to my environment; they’re the highest order of pestilence.
ROFLMAO
“The squirrel drowners–she an environmentalist and lawyer–have gotten eerily desensitized at their rather elaborate squirrel-destruction method Part of me isn’t surprised;”
Desensitization…wondering how this will play out since CO2 is a pollutant; you know the stuff we exhale. With mansion-dwelling, jet-setting prophets (profits?) of doom like Al Gore and Babs Boxer priming the media with their “sky-is-falling/we will soon reach a tipping point” bunk, one can imagine how the future could unfold…
notice how no liberals have posted here defending the sledgehammer beating of small, defenseless animals.
Have some hypocracy with a serving of smoked venison with a side of fried mole nuggets.
I suggest ranch dipping sauce for the nuggets, by the way…delicious!
I’ve seen lgm droppings on other threads. I guess he is afraid of Yiddish Steel’s sprayer or Blind Mule’s waterboarding.
Hey, Blind_Mule. I don’t suppose you have a photo of a mole on which you could super impose lgm’s headshot do you?
I think lgm just doesn’t want us to know what he does in his spare time. That’s why he is conveniently absent from the conversation. Mental pictures of him complete with camo wear, face paint, a toy AK47, a funny hat and binnoculars. I can picture him slithering through the grass looking for squirrels. He’s on a mission, should he choose to accept..yadda yadda yadda
Good gracious. And they say conservatives have mental issues? Never in my life have I tried to give “fair warning” to an animal I’m about to shoot (because I haven’t shot any – even the bunnies that ate my potted plants!)
Isn’t it time environmentalism jumped the shark (and was, preferably, eaten by it)?
There is a show on IIRC the History Channel where they take urban & suburban hipster types out into Alaska’s wilds. They get a very meager supply of food, but no meat. They are supplied with guns & ammo too.
Eventually, they figure out how to kill and eat what they kill. So, you have hipster type shooting squirrels and then dressing them out and eating them.
I grew up in farm country and when young the place next to us was an active dairy farm (until one morning the smell of smoke was heavy in the air) and I remember going over there and helping butcher chickens. I hunt from time to time and grouse are mighty fine eating as are whitetail deer.
its distinctly possible! waterboarding sounds fun tho
lets get some squirrels and get to it!
One can only hope the nutroots start hitting each other with sledgehammers.
On June 6th, 2008 at 10:40 am, maurelius said:
Also rabbit and pheasant.
Did I mention that I also like to fish?
I’m such a heartless barbarian that I shock even myself.
Answer: Yes.
Around here we call woodchucks “ground hogs.” I have been told they are very good to eat, baked in the oven with gravy and potatoes. But I’ve never had the opportunity to eat one so I can say if they are fit to eat or not. I did eat a goat in Jamaica once though.
Some Virginia counties used to pay a small bounty on woodchucks because they are so destructive to crops. Take the tail (after you kill the ground hog, of course) to a county extension office and pick up the reward. I think it was something like five dollars.
Fried Woodchuck
1 woodchuck
1 tbsp salt
1 cup flour
2 tbsp fat
Clean woodchuck; remove glands; cut into 6 or 7 pieces. Parboil in salted water for 1 hour. Remove from broth; roll in flour and fry in hot fat (deep fat may be used) until brown. Serves 6.
… mmmm, mmm.
Excuse me while I work on that, good idea
tasts like chicken?!
Idiot Libs do the same thing with people.”Oh help the homeless, give them shelter !”, (just don’t send them to MY home) ; re/hypocrite
Dark meat.
Goes down great with corn on the cob, a crisp arugula salad with pine nuts, and a nice Merlot.
yum yum!
Here’s one for the more health conscious:
Barbeque Raccoon
1 raccoon
12 small sweet potatoes
1 med. onion (sliced)
3 med. carrots
1 tablespoon worcestershire sauce
salt and pepper
1 large bell pepper
1 cup water
1 bottle of barbecue sauce
Directions:
Dress the coon, then cook until tender. Debone. Place coon in foil lined baking pan. Add remaining ingredients to baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until sweet potatoes are done. Serves 6.
Who says you can’t eat well on a budget?
no no no…no raccoon! Nope, nadda, can’t do it..they are nasty creatures.
I am one of those animal rights “wackos” and proud to be so. I think it’s nice that we don’t want to kill innocent beings. I am repelled by killing and you should be, too.
Anyway, environmentalists are not necessarily animal rights activists. Many of them don’t care a wit about individual animal suffering…just a clean environment. Many of them have little to zilch compassion for suffering…that is why I am an animal rights activist first to put myself apart from environmentalists who care only for selfish reasons.
I am repelled by the lady in the pic. There are many ways to deal with animal problems that don’t resort to killing.
Do not presume that you can tell me what I should and should not do!
On June 6th, 2008 at 11:24 am, Soliel said:
Nope, sorry.
I hunt.
I fish.
I wear fur.
And I like it.
The problem with deer eating your garden is that you are only allowed one or two per season. So between me and the missus, we can only get rid of 4. Not nearly enough to save the tamaters. But we have found that spraying them (the maters not the deer) down with habanero water tends to cut down on the losses.
The cottontail rabbits are in season from Sept 1 – Mar 31, so we thin them out pretty good before the growing season starts (hmmm rabbit stew). The dogs take care of most of the survivors, and the neighbors tend to ignore the occasional gunshot if there is a particularly stubborn bunny(as do we).
And the greenies tend to live over in the Jackson area so they don’t bother us much.
In Georgia, that is called “hunting without a license”. It is also called “hunting with an unlawful weapon”. In Georgia, the excuse that they were eating your garden wouldn’t fly because you are neither a farmer nor a subsitence gardener and they weren’t “raiding your crops”. Now, Alaska is supposed to have tougher game laws than Georgia and here is this nice Communist lady whacking poor animals with a sledge.
Where is the Game Warden?
Soliel,
You are almost right on your explanation of environmentalists not being animal rights types. In fact, environmentalists and animal rights nuts do far more damage to the environment than those of us who pay taxes on sporting equipment, license fees and steward our own and public land for hunting. We take care of the environment to the tune of Millions and Commie Greens mountain bike through it on weekends for free. Then they complain that we killed “Bambi”.
Pony up folks. Until you do, you have no right to complain about how I use the resources I pay for.
An apparently abused dog came here . She had learned to live off the land, because she was not emaciated. She killed and ate raccoons which had been eating our cats. We shot the last one with a .22 two days ago.
A scientist speculated that if humans became extinct, raccoons would be on the list of candidates intelligent enough to eventually re -invent civilized life.
I used to sit on my back porch and shoot red squirrels. I was just providing food for those higher on the food chain. I hate red squirrels.
Storm Chaser – that was a tough little dog if it killed raccoons. That is no easy feat for one dog to do.
Let me clarify, for the animal rights folks that are reading.
I eat meat, and I hunt and fish to feed my family.
I wear fur because I live in Michigan, and its’ colder than a witches’ tit up here come winter.
I kill moles because my poor mother broke her ankle in a mole-hole on her front lawn, and it’s never going to happen to me. I do everything that I can to discourage them without offing them. If they won’t go, then they face the consequences of not leaving.
I also believe that killing citified, socially aggressive wild animals to prevent the spread of diseases like rabies among human beings, ia a very good public health practice.
Just in case you guys don’t know him, at least Jerry Clower always gave the coons a sporting chance.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tBnOCFrCByg
On June 6th, 2008 at 11:38 am, ct davis said:
Very well stated, and spot on.
Actually, I don’t tell people how to live. I know we all have free choice and will in this life. We are all under the same laws of nature and spirit. If you want to choose to kill for fun, then that is the kind of person you are choosing to be. Fine. Do it. You have chosen to be that kind of human (if you call it that).
I like to live a noble life. No, I am not perfect by any means but I don’t want to kill, and I am glad by that. I think it’s more elevated to not kill harm innocent living beings. How else can I put it? Is it not obvious that this is better? To not kill for fun? Well, I guess to some it is not obvious and you will continue your ways until you are more enlightened and realize that is not your best self. Good luck.
… I also enjoy a nice chicken dinner from Kentucky Fried Chicken once in a while.
In fact, just for fun, for every comment here that wants to justify killing innocent beings for fun, pleasure or profit…I will donate $5 bucks to PeTA. How’s that? Keep your rude comments coming and I will donate. Don’t worry, I can handle all of them. I am rich.
I agree with misscheryl, I have never been repelled by any of my kills. I don’t think I’d kill in a situation that would repell me.
On June 6th, 2008 at 11:55 am, Soliel said:
And your point is?
Leftard double standards, really? I caught a program recently on the science channel. It was all about some Canadian bone hunters from some museum up there. They had found a specimen next to a river somewhere in BC and wanted to dig it up. Well you should have seen the way they treated that pristine environment, ripping out vegetation spray painting rocks sawing away on the rivers edge and generally ravaging the riverside in a manner reminiscent of Genghis Khan. It was a mess no oil company or mining company would have been allowed to get away with what they were doing. No hunter of packer ever treated the environment in that way. But you know, millions of years old bones from a period long since gone is more important than things we need today. Save the planet chase off a paleontologist.
#78 tgusa
Probably thought that they had the missing link there.
made to order pic of lgm
So tell me Soliel, how do you feel about killing cockroaches?
My neighborhood sprays for mosquitos, to prevent the spread of disease. Is this right or wrong, in your book?
I am an avowed enemy of voles, moles, rabbits and squirrels, and the occasional neighbor’s dog or cat.. I have a Wrist rocket sling shot with BB’s that is quiet, deadly and very satisfying…. When an animal helps me pay my mortgage then I’ll engage in anthropomorphizing the little cretins.
Evidently, Woodchuck Johnny has never heard of chicken wire.
Let’s send these nice folks a signed copy of Ted Nugent’s “Kill It And Grill It.”
The missing link. Gee I thought the missing link was gainfully employed in Hollyweird.
I’m not sure how yall feel about it but I must confess that every time I find a snail in my yard I toss it way up in the air towards the driveway, hey the birds gotta eat too.
On June 6th, 2008 at 12:12 pm, greenfairie said:
Shame on you, another 5 bucks for PETA
.
Don’t bother to donate on my post I don’t kill them I just torture them.
On June 6th, 2008 at 12:15 pm, tgusa said:
I feel the same way every time I pick a hornworm off of my heirloom tomato plants and squish it under my heel.
Oh, the guilt.
/sarc
libs have no problem with YOU parting with YOUR money, life or property…its ONLY BAD when THEY have to be the ones to do it…watch and see.
Once these fools see how much they will lose under a liberal…like in 1972 under McGovern…this is when they cursed NIxon publically, and still voted for him privately.
I believe history will repeat itself under Obama
You can only be aroused so long…before it gets old.
Oh and please do donate to PETA — People Eating Tasty Animals….. oh not that organization? … never mind!
I’m sure many of you have heard of this and I thought “I don’t believe it but I’ll try it” Juicy Fruit Gum will kill moles, they can’t digest the gum and it plugs them up and they die. That way you can say I did’nt kill them the gum did.
Yep I know. My kids used to hate me for it until I pointed out to them, notice how they get closer and closer each day? We are under attack there’s no doubt about it. Plus, I read an article awhile back that argued snails might have taken over if humans hadn’t so in my opinion, it’s a war.
thats how i feel about the polar bear and the caribu.
Oh man, racoons are sooooooo nasty. It isn’t just the mess they make, they leave the most prodigious amounts of poop everywhere. It’s unlawful to fire a weapon in town, police are only allowed to corral domestic animals, so the poop just piled up and piled up. He finally moved on to greener pastures and we hope he lost his map so he can’t come back.
Kill them! Woodchucks are evil, and cause global warming! Do you know how much wood would a woodchuck chuck? I don’t either, but I’d bet it’s a lot.
“I am not an animal!”
Some folks on this blog could use sensitivity training. Good grief. Feel blessed to have critters around you. They are the only true innocents in our world. While it is an inconvenience, we just plant what the animals don’t like to eat. If they reach over or trample vegetable garden fencing, we drive a seven miles to the Hy-Vee and buy tomatoes there. The deer come down to feed every night at dusk even if we have a raucus party going on in the backyard. We give them cracked corn in custom deer feeders – originally to keep them away from the bird feeders, but now just as their entree. They prefer bird feed. We have raccoons, possums, squirrels and skunks as well. So far no incidents with the skunks, we have 7 cats, but we know it is only a matter of time. The cats in the meantime have wiped out the rabbits much to our horror and cleared out the ground squirrels as well. The little voles and various mice types are too numerous although they give it a good college try. Just wish they’d eat the heads and that funny green gizzard rather than leaving them on the front entryway. All of these animals add a wonderful dimension to very busy working lives. Most of the cats are refugees from surrounding horse operations and farms. People: The hunting ability of cats improves when you feed them.
1. I was always taught to eat what I kill or if it’s not edible – bury it deep in the garden as fertalizer. Don’t waste anything.
2. For these nuts, if it’s that easy to go against their “firm beliefs” against killing any animals, how far are they from offing a neighbor for voting against Obama? Or driving a suv?
At some point some people can justify anything intheir own mind.
Hmmm… our only critters are squirrels. It seems like the cars on the street do a better job of population control (note to squirrels: if you stand in the middle of the road and the car swerves to the right to avoid you, DON’T run right). But man, some of these people are sick in the head! I bet it’s BDS that made them do it, eh?
I have a friend/co-worker that belongs to an organization called Trout Unlimited. TU works with the DFG to bring the trout population back up, and restore creeks and rivers. In the process they go through and kill anything that they think doesn’t belong.
He told me the DFG has a tazer that they use on the bullfrogs. They shock the water and it brings everything to the surface, then they round up all the illegal animals, so they can be put to death.
Another co-worker and I want to get some shirts made up that say “Frogs Limited” and have a picture of a frog saying “Don’t taze me bro”
Environmentalists need a cause, and will kill in its name; as long as it is for the good of the cause.