Corporations are the reason that babies cry and why trees lose their leaves once a year. Surely a retraction is required, you thoughtless capitalist swine.

Respectfully,
Rosie O’Donnell

I wonder if they will report on the USA’s recent capture of 550 metric tons of yellow cake in Iraq (before al Qaeda could get it) and the subsequent shipping of it to a firm in Canada? (It wasn’t a war for oil as much as it was a war for yellow cake.)

Oh, you didnt read about this in the NY Times or hear about it from Wolf BlitzNoggin?

Lara Logan was too “busy” to be reached for comment.

(Free Scooter Libby now, Mr. President and arrest Joe Wilson for treason and false testimony. The jig is up!)

I wonder if they will report their overall ass whuppin in Iraq?

Will BS Obama try to reach out to al Qaeda when he visits?

Bear1909 out.

On July 11th, 2008 at 6:28 am, graysonret said:

I think it’s now 24 virgins. They’ve had to ration them out, due to the increased number of “martyrs” applying.

But–allah be praised–a new cohort of 9 year-olds is entering the labor pool, improving the out-year forecast. Death to the Great Satan!

On July 10th, 2008 at 6:47 pm, graysonret said:
If they had a corporate newsletter, you better believe that the NYT will be running it on the front page every time it came out. CNN and MSNBC would be running commentary on it, having their commentators repeating each other as to how wonderful it is.

It would be a special insert in the Sunday times.

allah akbar!

On July 10th, 2008 at 10:13 pm, rambler said:

Who needs a retirement plan when there are 72 virgins waiting for each of them.

Fool! It is 90 virgins. Do you not read the newsletter? A pox upon your children, inshallah!

DIVERSITY DAY

Everyone is invited to Qaedant’s first annual Diversity Celebration Fair Wednesday morning at Cave 11-B. Find out how the world’s ever-increasing diversity provides a growing strategic opportunity for us to blow up infidels of every color and orientation. HR Team Leader Hassan Abdullah will discuss how Qaedant is expanding martyrdom job search to recruit from traditionally-underserved groups, such as unwilling women and 8-year old retards. See you at the Fair!

LUNCH CAVE ETIQUETTE

Nobody likes a messy lunch break cave. It’s inconsiderate to your fellow Qaedant associates, and the cleaning slaves who have to pick up your falafel wraps and missing limbs. If you have been mortally wounded and are bleeding uncontrollably, please go to the designated dying area near the scrap metal pile in parking lot D.

Thank you Jeddite, maybe I am getting paranoid but…oh well, never mind & yes it is obligatory.

On July 10th, 2008 at 9:33 pm, Rogue Cheddar said:
I understand their 401k plan is a little underwhelming as most participants do not reach retirement age.

Undistributed assets can make for a much healthier return for the surviving managers.

IowaHawk has way too much time on his hands… He’s gone and given legitimacy to the illegitimate…
DIVERSITY DAY
Everyone is invited to Qaedant’s first annual Diversity Celebration Fair Wednesday morning at Cave 11-B. Find out how…

Maybe they’ll also try to incorporate
“Best Practices” into their bomb-making strategies.

And then they won’t blow themselves up prematurely quite so often.

1. You don’t talk about fight club Al-Qaeda.
2. You don’t talk about fight club Al-Qaeda.
3. When someone says stop, or goes limp, even if he’s just faking it, the fight jihad is not over.
4. Only two guys to a fight jihad.
5. One fight jihad at a time.
6. They fight jihad without shirts or shoes.
7. The fights jihads go on as long as they have to.
8. If this is your first night at fight club Al-Qaeda, you have to fight jihad.
9. You don’t talk about fight club Al-Qaeda because there is no fight club Al-Qaeda.