Michelle Malkin » Bloggers sniff out anti-Palin astroturf campaign– and the cover-up begins Updated with Ethan Winner response

Bloggers sniff out anti-Palin astroturf campaign– and the cover-up begins Updated with Ethan Winner response

By Michelle Malkin • September 22, 2008 04:44 AM

Scroll down for updates…Response from Ethan Winner

Follow the disappearing YouTube account…

The blogosphere is doing the job the MSM thinks no one else can do.

A collaborative investigative effort by our friends at The Jawa Report to expose an apparently astroturfed, anti-Sarah Palin smear campaign seems to have caused late-night panic in Barack Obama-linked p.r. circles. The bloggers digging into the provenance of anti-Sarah Palin smears on the web got results last night/early this morning while most elite journalists were still in their pajamas sleeping.

First, read this. Read the whole thing. Rusty Shackleford — with help from Jane of Armies of Liberation, Stable Hand, the Jawa team, Dan Riehl, Ace of Spades, and Patterico – traced a Palin-bashing YouTube video to a Democrat public relations firm, Winner and Associates, and one of its employees, Ethan S. Winner. They believe the voiceover for the ad — which spreads the lie that Sarah Palin belonged to a fringe third party, the Alaska Independence Party — was done by a professional whose voice they believe was also featured in several Obama ads and other spots produced by Obama top strategist and astroturfer extraordinaire David Axelrod’s firm.

The Jawa Report’s bottom line:

While not conclusive, evidence suggests a link to the Barack Obama campaign. Namely:

* Evidence suggests that a YouTube video with false claims about Palin was uploaded and promoted by members of a professional PR firm.

* The family that runs the PR firm has extensive ties to the Democratic Party, the netroots, and are staunch Obama supporters.

* Evidence suggests that the firm engaged in a concerted effort to distribute the video in such a way that it would appear to have gone viral on its own. Yet this effort took place on company time.

* Evidence suggests that these distribution efforts included actions by at least one employee of the firm who is unconnected with the family running the company.

* The voice-over artist used in this supposedly amateur video is a professional.

* This same voice-over artist has worked extensively with David Axelrod’s firm, which has a history of engaging in phony grassroots efforts, otherwise known as “astroturfing.”

* David Axelrod is Barack Obama’s chief media strategist.

* The same voice-over artist has worked directly for the Barack Obama campaign.

This suggests that false rumors and outright lies about Sarah Palin and John McCain being spread on the internet are being orchestrated by political partisans and are not an organic grassroots phenomenon led by the left wing fringe.

Now, here’s the juicy part. Within an hour of publication of the Jawa Report’s investigation, “eswinner” deleted the smear video that he had uploaded several times on September 11. Here’s a screenshot of the cached copy:

Let me underline that: At some point between approx. 12 midnight – 2am Eastern, “eswinner” logged into his account and tried to erase all traces of the deceitful, Palin-bashing ad.

And at 4:26am Eastern, here’s the message that appeared when attempting to view “eswinner’s” previously accessible account:

That was fast.

“Eswinner” didn’t just delete the Palin/AIP smear ad and his entire account. A related YouTube account, “Gocamerica,” that was spreading the lie has now also tried covering its tracks and has been closed. Ace and Dan Riehl are tracking the cover-up.

The Jawas, who have been at the vanguard of smoking out jihadis on the web, of course saved the video and all relevant websites.

Rusty wonders:

“If ‘eswinner’ isn’t Ethan Winner of the Publicis Groupe, then why did “eswinner” yank the video so quickly? Or if this was just an innocent homemade ad, then what does he have to hide? You’d think he’d want more attention for it.”

Indeed. Here it is, captured by a quick-thinking watchdog and reposted on YouTube.

I highly doubt “eswinner” will dare to send a takedown notice and reveal himself — and the lawyers and money behind him.

But it’s only a matter of time before the truth comes out.

Stay tuned.

***

Update: Patterico on the cover-up…

In the criminal law business, we call evidence like that “consciousness of guilt.”

There needs to be follow-up to this story. The connection to the Winners and their PR firm is solid. The evidence tying in Axelrod and Obama is circumstantial but suggestive. The lightning-quick cover-up goes a long way towards convincing me. Now the baton needs to be passed to a media organization that can demand answers from the parties involved, who are unlikely to respond to a bunch of bloggers.

Update: Ethan Winner has responded.

September 22, 2008

1:30 pm PDT

Statement of Ethan Winner

The following is in response to questions I have received regarding the post on the Jawa Report website.

I produced and posted on the Internet the video entitled “Sarah Palin: A Heartbeat Away.”

The idea for the video was mine. No one paid me to produce it. The only out-of-pocket cost will be the fee for the voice-over narrator, which I will pay personally when I receive an invoice. Contrary to the allegation in the Jawa Report, the voice-over artist has never done any work for the Obama campaign. I retained her through a talent agency based solely on the quality of her voice.

Neither the Obama campaign nor any independent political action committee has had a connection with the making and/or posting of this video. Just like the thousands of Americans who have posted videos on the Internet regarding the current Presidential campaign, I produced this video as an expression of my right to free speech, which is guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution.

I believe the American people have a right and a need to know information about candidates for political office and their views. I made this video because I think it is important for the public to be aware of the association between Sarah and Todd Palin and the Alaskan Independence Party. The New York Times has reported that the Alaskan Independence Party website describes the party as seeking, in the words of the party, “a range of solutions to the conflicts between federal and local authority,” including “advocacy for state’s rights, through a return to territorial status, all the way to complete independence and nationhood status for Alaska.”

While a number of media outlets have said that reports that Sarah Palin was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party may have been erroneous, her attendance at the party’s 1994 convention, her video speech to the 2008 convention and her husband’s membership in the Alaskan Independence Party have not been called into question.

Some people have asked why I have pulled the video from the Internet. The reason is simple. Following the posting of personal information about me by the Jawa Report, my family began to receive threatening and abusive phone calls and emails.

Rusty Shackleford’s response:

Do I find his response hard to believe. Yes I do. I would especially note the carefully crafted future tense usage for when he will pay the voice over artist.

It’s almost …. Clintonesque.

So, he produces the video. He pays for the video production — out of his own pocket. He then posts it to YouTube using multiple phony identities.

Then he gets his friends at one of the largest PR firms in the world to post it on the internet, to suggest to others that they pass it on, and spend company time defending the outright lies in the video — all for free?

And the multimillionaire who is President of the firm also spends his free time defending the lies on his “homemade” — yet professionally voiced over — video?

Hey Ethan, with that business savvy no wonder you were forced to rent out the family yacht! Maybe it’s time to also get rid of those courtside seats.

Posted in: Blogosphere, Sarah Palin

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#464228

On September 22nd, 2008 at 2:51 pm, Joy said:

I have no issue with Alaskans who want independence. What they want is their States Rights back!

Socialism is already out of control in this country. Thank goodness for the 2nd ammendment and the Constitutional guarantee that we as citizens can remove the corrupt government.
#464310

On September 22nd, 2008 at 3:57 pm, Elm Creek Smith said:

On September 22nd, 2008 at 9:32 am, lgm said:
Huff&puff doesn’t change the fact that there is truth in the allegation. Palin did make a very warm video for this anti-American organization. Her husband was a member.

The truth is that, at that time, Mayor Sarah Palin, welcomed a state convention to her small town. If her husband was a member of that organization, so what? My wife is a registered Democrat, and I consider what they’ve been doing lately to be “anti-American.” That doesn’t make me want to kick her out of bed, moron.

ECS
#464312

On September 22nd, 2008 at 3:58 pm, Elm Creek Smith said:

After reading my last post, I’d like to apologize to morons everywhere. That should have read: “Are you stoned or stupid.”

ECS
#464317

On September 22nd, 2008 at 4:01 pm, rightisright said:

I’d like to see Mr. Bill’s(O’Reilly) response to this info…after he does nothing but praise the Zero for running an above board, open, fair and non-derisive campaign…what a tool he is, O’Reilly that is.
#464445

On September 22nd, 2008 at 5:12 pm, nativeaz08 said:

Weekly Standard gets into the investigation:

Shackleford has evidence that Jared Liu-Klein, an Associate at Winner & Associates, posted this video on website DemocraticUnderground.com more than a week after reports of Sarah Palin’s membership in the party had been debunked.

I just spoke with Liu-Klein on the phone and asked him about the matter, but he said that he would have to get back to me later. I gave him my email address and asked if he could give me a simple yes or no answer if he had ever posted a video on the Internet about Sarah Palin and the Alaskan Independence Party. Liu-Klein replied: “I’ll have to get back to you as soon as I can.” Then he hung up the phone. I’ll post Liu-Klein’s response if and when I get it.

Can’t answer a straight “yes” or “no” question? Twelve hours and they still haven’t gotten their stories straight? Hmmmm.

http://www.weeklystandard.com/weblogs/TWSFP/2008/09/is_the_obama_campaign_behind_a_1.asp
#464521

On September 22nd, 2008 at 6:12 pm, Brian72 said:

I’ve seen the WHOLE video of Sarah Palin welcoming that party convention.

If you weren’t so obtuse, lgm, you could recognize that she is the damn Governor and being INCLUSIVE to all Alaskans, even those whose party affiliation are different than hers.

That’s called LEADERSHIP, you dunce. She’s just a great person, who seems like she’s very open minded and tolerant. Unlike you, of course. This crap from jerks like you, lgm is really wearing thin with me. I’m sick of it!

Sarah is a class act, all the way.

Enough said about that.
#464551

On September 22nd, 2008 at 6:43 pm, rlwo2008 said:

Independent parties have been common in the Western United States for a very long time. They are usually focused on concerns about the federal government usurping state and local responsibilities and federal government taking their land for their own uses.
#464578

On September 22nd, 2008 at 7:05 pm, nativeaz08 said:

The ~~winner~~ whiner has responded.
http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/194180.php
#464688

On September 22nd, 2008 at 9:30 pm, jencab said:

I think I smell a rat. Actually several rats of the Obama campaign.
#464717

On September 22nd, 2008 at 9:59 pm, srhoades said:

Note that Rusty did not post personal information (unless where he works is personal information). Also I don’t know where outright lies are not protected by the first amendment. Finally, why is it that libs always make the wild claim that they are being “threatened” by conservatives when the only threats that are ever bantied about are by libs (see Sarah Vowel and Sandra Blowhard).
#464719

On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:00 pm, AlohaGuy said:

Total BS.
#464720

On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:01 pm, srhoades said:

Oh, and I’d love to have a voice analyst run the audio through his magic machines.
#464728

On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:05 pm, AlohaGuy said:

Oh, and I’d love to have a voice analyst run the audio through his magic machines.

Don’t worry, the people analyzing the Columbia video will get to work on it after they reach a conclusion on that tape.
#464733

On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:12 pm, shanimal said:

The nutroots are planning another viral campaign, yes it’s another lie.

Did we miss this? Palin was a clinic blocker?

I’m curious how the undecideds will see this. That’d make an interesting viral e-mail, I would think.

Sarah Palin was a full-on, street protesting clinic blocker.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/9/22/111758/142/760/606399
#464748

On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:39 pm, tiredofit08 said:

it just keeps getting better and better…NOT…this has got to be the dirtiest campaign in the history of man…the country and the pols have sunk to new lows…Michelle for Prez!!! and not of the obmamination kind either….
#464752

On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:42 pm, curiozities said:

her attendance at the party’s 1994 convention, her video speech to the 2008 convention and her husband’s membership in the Alaskan Independence Party have not been called into question.

Yo, Weiner, you’re right that that part is not question. But just because she speaks to the convention doesn’t mean she agress with their extreme positions, which your video suggests. Talk about smear-by-association.

The disingenuousness of the left knows no bounds.
#464755

On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:45 pm, mojo said:

On September 22nd, 2008 at 12:08 pm, mojoe said:

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:57 am, mojo said:
As a Concerned Christian, I have to protest your witch hunt against Winner & Associates…

I am not affiliated with this commenter.

Is this sarcasm or idiocy?

Idiocy.

Oh, wait…
#464757

On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:51 pm, Mojave Mark said:

The thing that’s nice about Sarah is, unlike Bush, she will swing back at these fools.
#464759

On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:54 pm, shooter said:

Hey ~~Winner~~ ( what a misnomer) ,
Hey Ethan,
How was lunch today?
Barry, the Bitter Half, and Rezko all doin’ OK?
#464764

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:00 pm, St. Louis Blue said:

On September 22nd, 2008 at 1:33 pm, lgm said:

Palin cannot keep the anti-America organization from meeting. It’s a free country. But she doesn’t have to be delighted to welcome them either.

Palin welcomed the UN to New York? Or did the Democrat party meet in Anchorage? I’m confused. To which anti-American organization are you referring?
#464765

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:01 pm, WarEagle82 said:

Well, Mr. Weener seems like a nice, upstanding young man. From the tone of his note I suspect there is a lawyer in the family and might have even helped him write the note for free.

I guess all the other circumstantial evidence was simply an odd coincidence and should be ignored.

I guess this just shows how we can all jump to conclusions. It is such a shame that any threats were made against his poor family. I hope that nasty lady from Alaska leaves Mr. Weener alone. I bet she helped break into his email account. Sounds just like her.
#464767

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:05 pm, vickisoup said:

Since when did pondering aloud the notion of leaving the US become an anti-American sentiment to the left, anyway? Aren’t Alec Baldwin, and countless others of his raving ilk, heralded as heroes when they threaten to leave the country behind the election of a Republican President?
Who can keep up with liberals’ changing game, changing rules, etc.
#464768

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:05 pm, OneMonkeysUncle said:

Oh christ on a crutch, this is the best you people can do? I realize you know you can’t win with McCain on his own merits, but after all those years being guided by Rove, I certainly expected better than this kind of lame pseudo-sleuthing to rustle up some news… Weren’t you people paying attention?!
#464776

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:24 pm, flenser said:

“Yeah, all you wingnuts! So what if we Democrats are spreading lies? What do you expect us to do? We’re Democrats!”

/OneMonkeysUncle
#464779

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:27 pm, flenser said:

I think it is important for the public to be aware of the association between Sarah and Todd Palin and the Alaskan Independence Party.

You’d think that the AIP was as crazy and far-out there as the Weather Underground, or Rev Wrights church.
#464791

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:41 pm, RabbidSquirrel said:

On September 22nd, 2008 at 1:05 pm, Dan Lee said:

CNN just got in on the smear act with an article about Rape Victims that had to pay for their own rape exams in Wasilla while Palin was Mayor..

What you are seeing in this case is one of the “scandals” that was dug up by that crack Dem operative team that was sent to Alaska after Palin was added to the campaign. There will be additional similar stories over the next few weeks.
#464794

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:48 pm, a crapweasel said:

Dear Ethan, EPIC FAIL!
#464796

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:49 pm, RabbidSquirrel said:

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:05 pm, vickisoup said:

Since when did pondering aloud the notion of leaving the US become an anti-American sentiment to the left, anyway?

Heck, most Texans think this exact thing each and every day. We (ahem, they) just tolerate the rest of ya’ll the same way one would tolerate an annoying younger sibling. Ya’ll really slow us (ahem, them) down in what we are trying to accomplish in the world.

j/k (no offense, just saying)

When the time comes, John Wayne will reincarnate as the 12th Iman and we (ahem, they) will reclaim the Alamo for good!
#464798

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 pm, imjustsaying said:

John McCain is 72 years old and has some history of medical problems. With that in mind, do you people, in your heart of hearts, really believe that Sarah Palin can handle the presidency of the United States if something happens to McCain? That is an even scarier thought that an Obama presidency!
#464800

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:56 pm, RabbidSquirrel said:

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 pm, imjustsaying said: That is an even scarier thought that an Obama presidency!

No. Not at all. What happened to the supposition that women are entirely smarter and more rational than men and if they were in power this would be a completely different world.
#464812

On September 23rd, 2008 at 12:19 am, Cosmo said:

Nice work, all.

Methinks the “winner” is the “loser” in this case…and that he doth protest too much.

Walks like a skunk, smells like a skunk, is a…
#464824

On September 23rd, 2008 at 12:45 am, nlebou said:

do you people, in your heart of hearts, really believe that Sarah Palin can handle the presidency of the United States if something happens to McCain?

Absolutely.
#464829

On September 23rd, 2008 at 1:05 am, puhiawa said:

I have been in politics a long time. This ad was paid for by Obama money. That is why the erase.
#464833

On September 23rd, 2008 at 1:13 am, Salt said:

On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 pm, imjustsaying said:

John McCain is 72 years old and has some history of medical problems. With that in mind, do you people, in your heart of hearts, really believe that Sarah Palin can handle the presidency of the United States if something happens to McCain? That is an even scarier thought that an Obama presidency!

Yes, Sarah Palin could handle the presidency if something happened to McCain. Most everyone understands that is exactly what a vice-president does and we were happy when Sarah Palin was selected.

Nothing scary about it. What is scary is that the Democratic presidential candidate with socialist leanings and less executive experience than the Republican vice-presidential candidate has a chance of winning.
#464838

On September 23rd, 2008 at 1:46 am, RetFireman said:

Some people have asked why I have pulled the video from the Internet. The reason is simple. Following the posting of personal information about me by the Jawa Report, my family began to receive threatening and abusive phone calls and emails.

Bullspit! Why is it that every time these thugs get caught, they cry out about how they were threatened..their family threatened…their grandmother’s cats are threatened…his teddy bear he clutches when he sleeps at night is threatened etc.? Do they really think that anyone outside of the other thugs at DU and Kos believe that?

And where is the proof? Come on…show us all the proof you have from this cavalcade of threatening e-mails and such that hit you so hard and fast, that the only way you could think of to save all the a fore mentioned from the wrath of whoever these imaginary peoples are was to attempt to delete any and all proof that you had anything to do with said libelous video?

Since you are claiming that the creation of and subsequent posting and attempts to spread this atrocious piece of libel was nothing more than a Freedom of Speech issue, then surely a Constitutional Crusader and Champion of All that is Righteous and True in this country would never bend to the whims of said terrorists but instead would stick to your guns, use this “evidence of foul play” on the part of GOVERNOR Palin as your shield and contact the FBI, Secret Service etc. in order to go after these thugs who have submitted these afore mentioned “threats”. (Here is a clue…you must contact your local police/sheriff department and have them investigate them. Should they, indeed, carry actionable threats to your safety and well-being and/or that of your friends and relatives, they are mandated by state and federal laws to act upon said threats and go after the evil doers. Having done battle with a truly hateful and violent stalker who happened to be well known for attacking Conservative bloggers and their children, etc., I am well versed in what to do.)

So I call “shenanigans” on this troll, and all he has done is give credence to the suspicions that wither the DNC or the Obama Campaign or both most definitely had something to do with this libel, as they have all the others, and you were just plain not smart enough to have covered your tracks and were too secure in your egotistical self-indulgent beliefs concerning your mental superiority over all those in-bred yokels clinging to their Bibles and guns to ever get caught.

That’s right…you would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids, right Mr. Lying-Piece-Of-Whale Dung?
#464839

On September 23rd, 2008 at 1:56 am, RetFireman said:

You’d think that the AIP was as crazy and far-out there as the Weather Underground, or Rev Wrights church.

Are you kidding? They need not go that far. After all…just look at who is endorsing Odhimmi The tarnished Bovine. you have the American Communist Party, Hammas, Ahmadenijhoodie, Al Zawahiri, Bin Laden, and so many more fun and decorative filks.

Then you have the Dem Base. These are all those happy party animals who arrive on the scene of an event and scream, yell and intimidate little fivr foot nothing Filipino women, carry signs blatantly calling for the assassination of a sitting President, write articvles, carry signs, scream slogans and generally carry out all sorts of different and creative acts of treason and sedition ON A DAILY BASIS and have not one ounce of guilt or remorse for doing so.

You ahve the founders of Daily Kos and Democratic underground, along with their commentors and contributers who DAILY spread libel and post some of the most hateful, hate-filled, libelous, deceitful, underhanded sedition filled, traitorous garbage ever seen in print.

So I hate to tell these, their supporters and contributors as well as similar mind-set types that what they have done and are doing is so very much worse than any passing flirtation with the Alaskan Whatever Party that the last persons that should EVER comment upon this issue…true or not…would be them.

You can tell a lot about a person, their beliefs, their morals and values by the company they keep and the company that actively seeks out a relationship with them.

And baby…Odhimmi has far more to worry about in that department than GOVERNOR Palin does on her worst day.
#464840

On September 23rd, 2008 at 1:58 am, RogerCfromSD said:

Do I in my heart of hearts think Sarah could take on the Presidency?

HELL YA!

People who have been in politics and Congress far longer than she have done nothing but F’up the country.

Even if Sarah were as incompetent as the left lies that she is, she’d STILL do a better job.

INVESTIGATE FANNIE MAE & FREDDY MAC!
#464847

On September 23rd, 2008 at 2:46 am, RetFireman said:

If the Liberals and Dems did not think she could take on the Presidency, they would NOT be doing everything they could, pulling out all the stops and creating this incredible string of lies in ordeer to keep her from doing so.

They know she can, they know she is far better, has far more experience, is a much better candidate than the empty suited Socialist America hating fool they allowed the MSM to talk them into becoming their candidate.

Call it “Buyer’s Remorse” or whatever you want, they know they screwed up big time, and their only hope in their minds is to attempt to make her look worse than The Tainted Bovine.

The only problem is, unlike their ridiculous choice for President, our choice for VICE President actually has a record on which she can run and be proud of, as well as not having a graveyard full of skeletons in her closet that need to be kept hidden or explained away with lies and distractions.
#464848

On September 23rd, 2008 at 2:48 am, RetFireman said:

Oh, and if The Tarnished Bovine really cared about this Democratic Party manufactured “crisis”, then he would give back all the money he received from each and every one of these “lenders” involved. After all, he was the second highest recipient of money from Fannie Mae.

But he won’t. Show me a Dem that ever has.
#464865

On September 23rd, 2008 at 5:02 am, Brian72 said:

There is justice in this world, after all.
My prayers have been answered by a higher power, at last!

Sarah Palin gets a new Press Secretary
Posted By Uncle Jimbo

A derelict airfield somewhere deep in red state Alaska. Political reporters are being led off the ramp of a Gryphon Airlines Rendition Special. They are flex-cuffed, daisy-chained together and hooded. They are led out by former rapper with Public Enemy Chuck D and the S1Ws, who have eschewed their normal urban camouflaqe for some Arctic Woodland threads.They are frog-marched into a hangar and as their hoods are removed the lights kick up and the dulcet tones of Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” fill the air.

UNCLE J: Greetings jackals and welcome to the great state of Alaska. You have been doing your best to disrespect the state, it’s governor and essentially it’s population and basically everyone who isn’t a spineless, feckless, over-educated, under-experienced, left wing butthead. That is gonna bite you on the ass since none of your ivy league degrees seems to have taught you that there are a hell of a lot more hockey and soccer moms in bitter America than there are quasi-socialist, self-appointed elitist, snobby jackasses like y’all and you friends.

Now I will overlook the pitiful bias you show by discounting Sarah’s experience for the VP job while completely ignoring the fact that the Obama has never actually done a damn thing in his whole life. Every gig has been a calculated stepping stone to his inevitable coronation as the lightworker who will redeem us from the knuckle-dragging, mouth breathers who have ruled us for the last dark 8 years. You see most Americans have to actually work and make things happen to earn a paycheck and feed their families. This makes them bitter when some candy-ass skates his way through several elite academies, community organizes some kickbacks to his pal Tony Rezko, serves as possibly the only law prof who didn’t manage to publish even a staff memo, voted present in the Illinois legislature so many times it makes you wonder why he was even present, and now has spent the bulk of his undistinguished tenure in the monumentally unaccomplished US Senate running for President has the unmitigated gall to lecture them and call them ignorant, gun-toting, Jesus freak racists.

Well that was a major mistake and fortunately your arrogance combined with the Obama’s wafer thin resume and he and his wife’s disdain for the very people who made their climb to E-light status possible has made it quite unlikely they will rule the rabble. So in order to help you jackals make the transition we have organized a Real America Boot Camp for you punks. Tell them what they’ve won Chuck.

CHUCK D: Listen up jackals, we are gonna give you losers a look at what real Americans actually make happen. No more flappin’ your gums for your pay, you chumps are gonna actually earn a damn livin’ probably for the first time too.

So step on over here to get issued you mukluks we have a long couple of weeks planned for y’all.

First leg of your journey out of the ivory tower starts over here.

Chuck points and the S1Ws open the hangar doors to reveal sleds and dogs rigged up Iditarod style.

CHUCK D: Welcome to ANWR and the “earn your damn keep” Olympics. You are getting a crash course in what the trolls in flyover country have to actually do to put arugula on your table and gas in the tank of your punk ass Prius hybrid. So get your asses over there and start making friends with your dogs ‘cuz they normally feed on soft, tender little morsels like y’all.You need them dogs to haul your asses two hundred miles to the next stage. We’ll see how pristine you think this shithole is once you make it across.

Now if any of y’all make it past that you will have the honor of serving as roughnecks on the first oil well drilled here in ANWR. About time you lazy bastards did something more useful than walking on a damn treadmill. Now let me bring out a couple of cool guys who know what it is to work for a damn living, Jackals let’s here it for Mike Rowe from “The Deadliest Catch” and “Dirty Jobs” and the First Dude himself Todd Palin.

There is nervous tittering as the jackals consider what fresh hell awaits them.

TODD P: Well now it’s really great to meet you people. You seem to know so much about my family and I’d just like to thank Uncle J for this chance to meet you. I really enjoyed the deranged BS you all felt perfectly fine putting in newspapers and on TV. From Sarah is not Trig’s mom, Bristol is a whore, Track is a prop, to publishing my wife’s private emails, my daughter’s cell phone number and basically acting like scum, you have shot McCain/Palin right to the top. So to thank you I’m going to share some of my world with you. Mike.

MIKE ROWE: What an honor to have the cream of the press corps joining us for the upcoming Alaskan King Crab season in one of the most dangerous occupations there is. I hope you guys don’t get seasick, because I remember how miserable I was the first couple of times I was out in 40 foot waves with the ice-cold spray freezing my entire existence. Then you add in the 22 hour days and the fairly good chance you might get knocked overboard and you have the end to a perfect introduction to the lives of bitter Americans. And you know what jackals, they never seem as bitter to me as you arrogant pricks.

UNCLE J: So there you have it folks a welcome respite from the crappy hotel rooms in all the podunk towns you have to stay in following the candidates around as they pander to all the rubes. Now you can experience first hand and by the end of this I guaran-god-damn-tee you will have some respect for all those poor folks in flyover country. So it’s time to get your mush on, good luck with the dogs, the caribou, the oil rig, and the ocean. Any of you who make it through will be welcome to stop in at the local VFW for a beer.

Just savor the justice, for a moment…..ahhh yes.
#464868

On September 23rd, 2008 at 5:12 am, Brian72 said:

Come with me will you… into a fantasy of media justice…..and just desserts….

Sarah Palin gets a new Press Secretary
Posted By Uncle Jimbo

So I am now branching out from my duties covering the Presidential Press and moving on to my new role as Sarah Palin’s Press Secretary.

A derelict airfield somewhere deep in red state Alaska. Political reporters are being led off the ramp of a Gryphon Airlines Rendition Special. They are flex-cuffed, daisy-chained together and hooded. They are led out by former rapper with Public Enemy Chuck D and the S1Ws, who have eschewed their normal urban camouflaqe for some Arctic Woodland threads.They are frog-marched into a hangar and as their hoods are removed the lights kick up and the dulcet tones of Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” fill the air.

UNCLE J: Greetings jackals and welcome to the great state of Alaska. You have been doing your best to disrespect the state, it’s governor and essentially it’s population and basically everyone who isn’t a spineless, feckless, over-educated, under-experienced, left wing butthead. That is gonna bite you on the ass since none of your ivy league degrees seems to have taught you that there are a hell of a lot more hockey and soccer moms in bitter America than there are quasi-socialist, self-appointed elitist, snobby jackasses like y’all and you friends.

Gotta love that! Here’s the kicker…..

So in order to help you jackals make the transition we have organized a Real America Boot Camp for you punks. Tell them what they’ve won Chuck.

CHUCK D: Listen up jackals, we are gonna give you losers a look at what real Americans actually make happen. No more flappin’ your gums for your pay, you chumps are gonna actually earn a damn livin’ probably for the first time too.

So step on over here to get issued you mukluks we have a long couple of weeks planned for y’all.

First leg of your journey out of the ivory tower starts over here.

Chuck points and the S1Ws open the hangar doors to reveal sleds and dogs rigged up Iditarod style.

Go read the whole thing. It is a beautiful thought, and I REALLY enjoyed it! Thanks Uncle Jimbo.
#464883

On September 23rd, 2008 at 7:21 am, bloghooligan said:

i would dare one of these “we began receiving threats” con artists to produce the threats…or even better, report them to the FBI.

besides, he began “receiving threats” in the middle of the night??
#464886

On September 23rd, 2008 at 7:42 am, rambler said:

Sarah was such a good choice that all the thugs have had to expose themselves to get their inept puppet elected. The more this stuff comes to light, the less qualified BO becomes. Ego alone is not enough to become POTUS. The witless dems sure know how to pick ‘em.
#464889

On September 23rd, 2008 at 7:49 am, travlinman said:

…No one paid me to produce it. The only out-of-pocket cost will be the fee for the voice-over narrator, which I will pay personally when I receive an invoice. Contrary to the allegation in the Jawa Report, the voice-over artist has never done any work for the Obama campaign. I retained her through a talent agency based solely on the quality of her voice… and then in third grade Timmy Johnson made me eat a booger, and once in college on a dare I drank a beer with a condom floating in it, and then when I was working at my first job we were at a bar drinking shots and my buddies set me up with a chick who was really a guy, and then one time…

Wow! When old Ethan gets on a roll, he can really tell some good ones. I even believe some of them. He’s a real ‘winner’.
#464890

On September 23rd, 2008 at 8:01 am, crushliberalism said:

Come on, folks! Why wouldn’t you believe Winner? I mean, he’s been real honest and open thus far, right?
#464896

On September 23rd, 2008 at 8:31 am, emjem24 said:

OMG this idiot Winner took down the video because of “threats?” I find that hard to believe when the same kind of people make threats against conservatives and our hostess every freaking day.

This guy can hash the junk but he can’t accept the criticism that comes his way. What an evolutionary wonder this sad sack is.
#464906

On September 23rd, 2008 at 9:04 am, NJ-Aviator said:

That statement from him probably was prepared in a conference room with 7 lawyers.

He is so full of %$@*….

I bet there’s a money trail that would contradict his statement. Can we get that Democrat email sniffer from Tennessee to go find out? lol
#464947

On September 23rd, 2008 at 10:13 am, DBNinKY said:

I’ve heard more credible excuses from my seventh graders who didn’t complete their math portfolio assignment on time! Lame, Winner, very lame.
#464948

On September 23rd, 2008 at 10:14 am, GladzKravtz said:

When the time comes, John Wayne will reincarnate as the 12th Iman and we (ahem, they) will reclaim the Alamo for good!

(Just catching up for the morning.)
RabbidSquirrel, when that happens, I’ll be heading back to Grand Prairie ASAP.
#464950

On September 23rd, 2008 at 10:21 am, WarEagle82 said:

Frankly, if she were on the head of the ticket I’d vote for Palin/McCain.

She is certainly more ready, or as Bush would say, “more readierest,” than Biden or Obama.

I am looking forward to a Palin/Jindal 2012 ticket. Assuming there is still an America by then.
#464984

On September 23rd, 2008 at 10:43 am, JT said:

Liar liar pants on fire.
#465035

On September 23rd, 2008 at 11:04 am, Misscheryl said:

you mean ya’ll don’t believe him? Hows come?