Higher purpose…blahblahblah…Change We Need…blahblahblah…Every American must play a role…Take care of one another…blahblahblah…

Just doing a little pre-liveblogging of the Obama-mercial, which begins in just a few minutes.

Wonder if Aunt Zeituni Onyango will be tuning in:

Barack Obama has lived one version of the American Dream that has taken him to the steps of the White House. But a few miles from where the Democratic presidential candidate studied at Harvard, his Kenyan aunt and uncle, immigrants living in modest circumstances in Boston, have a contrasting American story.

Zeituni Onyango, the aunt so affectionately described in Mr Obama’s best-selling memoir Dreams from My Father, lives in a disabled-access flat on a rundown public housing estate in South Boston.

A second relative believed to be the long-lost “Uncle Omar” described in the book was beaten by armed robbers with a “sawed-off rifle” while working in a corner shop in the Dorchester area of the city. He was later evicted from his one-bedroom flat for failing to pay $2,324.20 (£1,488) arrears, according to the Boston Housing Court.

The US press has repeatedly rehearsed Mr Obama’s extraordinary odyssey, but the other side of the family’s American experience has only been revealed in parts. Just across town from where Mr Obama made history as the first black president of the Harvard Law Review, some of his closest blood relatives have confronted the harshness of immigrant life in America.

8:00pm Eastern. Here we go. The ad opens up with amber waves of grain, American flags…

The phoniness reeks.

“Change” count: 10.

Obama is now profiling Americans in economic distress.

1) Rebecca Johnson (Johnston?). She’s mad about rising mortgage payments.

Obama’s decrying the market turmoil, touting the “rescue plan” (AKA crap sandwich), and bloviating about his bogus tax cuts.

2) Now, he’s talking to a retiree about his pension. He repeats his new mantra that “government can’t solve all our problems.” He’s been saying this over and over again the past few days. His internals must show that the “Senator Government” jibe is hurting him. (See: The Democrats want your 401(k))

3) Obama moves on to a black couple without medical insurance and burdensome home payments. More sob stories.

No, don’t expect to see any sympathy for renters or couples who refrained from indulging in the subprime craze.

4) Promises, promises, promises — tax credits for fuel efficient cars, invest in clean coal, expand domestic production for oil.

Again: “Government can’t do it all.”

And: “Usher in a new era of responsibility.”

5) Iraq. “We are spending more in Iraq now than when we started the war.” So… he wouldn’t have spent money on the surge that he opposed but now supports?

Google CEO Eric Schmidt makes an appearance. Va. Democrat Gov. Tim Kaine.

6) Another heart-wrenching tale. A woman working two jobs and taking classes at night. She feels like she’s drowning in bills.

Who doesn’t?

It’s not clear what exactly she wants — and what Obama wants us to do. Pay for her educational training? What?

7) Obama is talking about his family now. Too funny: They’re playing his soundbite about turning the tv off and putting away the video games. Tell it to Malia, mister.

Hardly saw his father. Had to wake up early. Now here we go: His Education Plan will give tax credits for training. Right To Affordable Health Care.

But hey – government can’t solve all our problems!

8:18pm Eastern. Now, he’s talking about his mother. No mention of Aunt Zeituni or the brother in the Kenyan shanty.

8:19pm Eastern. BITTER HALF ALERT. Michelle Obama praises The One’s fathering skills. “He doesn’t forget anything.”

Oh, dear. They just showed the clip of him proclaiming, “I am my brother’s keeper.”

Quintuple-snort-worthy.

8:20pm Eastern. SMIRKY JOE ALERT. Me, too. Me, too. Smirky’s a working-class, regular Joe, too!

8. Another couple facing hard times, layoffs.

9) Obama promises to be Mr. Tough on national security. He’ll bolster the military. (Not if Barney Frank has his say.)

Guffaw: A supporter says he wants a leader who is devoted to the Constitution.

Sorry, I am having a snort attack.

Gag: A slideshow of glowy, Messianic photos flashes by. Obama hugs. Obama empathizes. Obama heeeaaaaals.

All hail the Lightworker. Fixer of Souls. Spreader of Wealth.

8:26pm Eastern. Bill Suck-Up Richardson makes an appearance. Auditioning for Energy Secretary or something.

Finally: Website pluggage: barackobama.com. Go. Now.

The Obama Programming Project is complete.

Kneel before Zod!

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