Friday afternoon comic relief: If fish are “sea kittens”…

By Michelle Malkin  •  January 9, 2009 11:52 AM

I wrote about PETA’s anti-fishing jihad back in 2003. They’re still at it.

So, PETA now wants to rename fish “sea kittens” to turn children against the joys of sportfishing. And fish-eating. (Hat tip: Doug Ross)

Not kidding:

People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

Ask the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to stop promoting sea kitten hunting.

I think I’ll make sea kitten sticks for lunch today.

Meanwhile, my fellow sea kitten-eaters at Twitter share their new names for other favorite foods:

Pasture puppies: Steak.

Yard birdie parmesan: Chicken parmesan.

Tuna sea kitties. Tuna fish.

And another snort-worthy euphemism:

“Maybe we should rename rats tube puppies. Think how much nicer the NYC subways would be!”

***

Wonder what names PETA has for all the animals it has killed?

***

Har!: Castle Argghhh! has redesigned your tuna sea kitten cans.

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Comments


  1. #101
    On January 9th, 2009 at 5:56 pm, CO2 Producer said:

    How many seconds did it take to come up with “sea kittens?” I’m disappointed with the lack of creativity. Whoever was in charge of creating this positive image for fish needs to go right back to grade school and leave our scaly little Omega-3 fatty acid sources alone.

    If you’re going to remake the image of wittew fishies, at least come up with something profound and original. Like more naked women.

    Wait, forget I said that. Too many potential explicit puns.

  2. #102
    On January 9th, 2009 at 6:22 pm, Cameron said:

    The two best quotes I have come across on this issue:

    Is this what happened to all those kittens I’ve tossed in the river?

    and

    I like PETA. It’s like David Lynch for kids.

  3. #103
    On January 9th, 2009 at 6:34 pm, pamscasa said:

    will sea kittens be meat during lent?

  4. #104
    On January 9th, 2009 at 7:23 pm, cicerokid said:

    Sing: “What’s the best tuna? Kitten of the sea.”

    What would Jessica Simpson have to say about this? “Is this kitten I have or (fill in the blank)

    I suupose it’s time to make war on all of the fish-eating fish.

  5. #105
    On January 9th, 2009 at 10:42 pm, Danceswithdachshunds said:

    Charley the tuna told me that he feels deeply insulted.

  6. #106
    On January 9th, 2009 at 11:06 pm, Tennessee Dave said:

    P – People
    E – Eating
    T – Tasty
    A – Albacore

    Personally I can’t stand tuna. Give me catfish with fries and hushpuppies and some green onions on the side and ice tea. YUM YUM!!!!

  7. #107
    On January 10th, 2009 at 12:28 am, Salt said:

    On January 9th, 2009 at 7:23 pm, cicerokid said:

    What would Jessica Simpson have to say about this? “Is this kitten I have or (fill in the blank)

    I feel so ignored. ::sniff::

    (See comment #25) :)

  8. #108
    On January 10th, 2009 at 12:55 am, cngerms said:

    On January 9th, 2009 at 11:06 pm, Tennessee Dave said:

    Personally I can’t stand tuna. Give me catfish with fries and hushpuppies and some green onions on the side and ice tea. YUM YUM!!!!

    Wait a minute, Dave! You’re from TN and you won’t have white beans with that meal, too?

  9. #109
    On January 10th, 2009 at 1:01 am, cngerms said:

    Apparently PETA is upset with Spearfish High School, too:

    Too stupid

  10. #110
    On January 10th, 2009 at 3:57 am, dlkuzara said:

    I think PETA made a huge mistake by creating a distraction from a more pressing issue which is to save the Nauga from extinction, evidenced by a steady decline in the availability of Naugas which are the only known source of Naugahyde.

  11. #111
    On January 10th, 2009 at 7:39 am, Tennessee Dave said:

    On January 10th, 2009 at 12:55 am, cngerms said:
    On January 9th, 2009 at 11:06 pm, Tennessee Dave said:

    Personally I can’t stand tuna. Give me catfish with fries and hushpuppies and some green onions on the side and ice tea. YUM YUM!!!!

    Wait a minute, Dave! You’re from TN and you won’t have white beans with that meal, too?

    Yes, if they are on the menu. Slaw too.

  12. #112
    On January 10th, 2009 at 7:50 am, Durangodarlin said:

    These people get federal funding, don’t they? If they relied solely on private donations, they wouldn’t come up this sort of idiocy. They really should be embarrassed because they are an embarrassment.

  13. #113
    On January 10th, 2009 at 8:08 am, englishqueen01 said:

    will sea kittens be meat during lent?

    You know, I had to wonder if there’ll be a full on campaign to attack those denominations that don’t eat meat during Lent, but fish on Fridays.

    Some Catholics, like us, try to abstain from meat ALL Fridays.

    And – if you come to Wisconsin – you’ll see that fish fries…sorry, “sea kitten” fries…are extremely popular.

  14. #114
    On January 10th, 2009 at 10:44 pm, Republicanvet said:

    Hah! Sorry you nitwits at PETA, my daughter giggles hysterically every time she pulls in another fish, and more so if it’s bigger than mine.

  15. #115
    On January 10th, 2009 at 10:57 pm, Republicanvet said:

    On January 10th, 2009 at 1:01 am, cngerms said:

    Apparently PETA is upset with Spearfish High School, too:

    Too stupid

    What morons. So when does the PETA campaign and protest start concerning the spearfishing by Indians (Native Americans for the PC)?

  16. #116
    On January 10th, 2009 at 11:04 pm, Republicanvet said:

    On January 10th, 2009 at 8:08 am, englishqueen01 said:

    And – if you come to Wisconsin – you’ll see that fish fries…sorry, “sea kitten” fries…are extremely popular.

    Being from Wisconsin, I can attest to the very large number of sea kitten fries every Friday. Tasty.

  17. #117
    On January 11th, 2009 at 11:13 am, chapoutier said:

    Some Catholics, like us, try to abstain from meat ALL Fridays.

    I believe in Louisiana, you can also eat nutria with the Church’s blessing.

    Yum yum.

  18. #118
    On January 11th, 2009 at 2:37 pm, right_on said:

    I just saw the results of a national survey regarding Recreational Fishing. The results showed 93.7% of those surveyed were in favor of recreational fishing, 5% were opposed, and 1.3% had no opinion.

    My message to PETA? Go pound sand, you whiners!

  19. #119
    On January 12th, 2009 at 7:48 am, englishqueen01 said:

    I believe in Louisiana, you can also eat nutria with the Church’s blessing.

    Yes. But I wouldn’t eat anything that looks like a rat

  20. #120
    On January 12th, 2009 at 4:34 pm, conservative in europe said:

    Fish aren’t alive, they are just less dead..
    – Red Foreman

  21. #121
    On January 12th, 2009 at 4:40 pm, Alan K. Henderson said:

    Pasture puppies…I wonder what Glenn Reynolds would think…

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