For crying out loud. Monday’s barely begun and the Obamedia already has me reaching for a double-strength airsickness bag. New York magazine’s Stacy Schiff gets the overflowing drool bucket of the day award for her ode to Barack and Michelle Obama’s lust for each other — as symbolized in a mundane Inauguration Night shot of them bumping heads together in a freight elevator (hat tip: Newsbusters). Michelle Obama wears her husband’s jacket, and Schiff takes it as a sign of Kingdom Come. This is just the introduction:

Look, Ma, no hands! Only one cool forehead and some extra-strength hairspray touch, and yet everything combusts in this Inauguration Night photo. Not since Doris Day and Rock Hudson split a pair of pajamas—also under intoxicating circumstances, if not in a freight elevator—has there been such chemistry in a shared outfit. Admit it, if you were one of the Secret Service guys, you’d find your BlackBerry suddenly compelling too. And if you’re a woman, you want what she’s having. Here is the answer to Freud’s question; the black tie is optional.

You could be uncharitable: She outranked and outearned him. And after she had gamely explained the concept of billable hours, he went on to sabotage her career, introduce her to single motherhood, and shrink her salary. Under the circumstances, the least Obama can do is offer his wife his jacket. It’s been a long time, after all, since anyone sat on her stoop and aspired to be First Lady. Reese Witherspoon aside, no one goes to Harvard Law to be reduced to her wardrobe. The reason to get a fancy education is to avoid having to fuss about the fancy dress.

But we’re in uncharted territory here. The gesture is sweetly old-fashioned, redolent of letter sweaters, gallantry, and Cary Grant. The girl is spicy and newfangled. She’s ushering us around a social corner as much as a political one. Professional rivals, Rock and Doris leaped out of bed in those pj’s the year Obama was born; only now are we discovering what a functioning marriage between equals actually looks like.

Here’s more. Get ready to hurl:

In recent weeks, so much focus has been placed on Michelle Obama’s biceps, but I’m much more excited about the rest of her body. Especially her hips. Those beautiful curves are hopefully sending a message to women of all ethnicities—but black women like me in particular (and of course young girls)—that having some meat on your bones is and always has been a blessing you don’t have to be ashamed of. I think she should make a video: The First Lady’s Guide to Fitness and Self-Love or something.