Audio comedy gold: Bozo the Vice President is looking out for you

By Michelle Malkin  •  March 19, 2009 11:37 AM


The gaffetastic gift that keeps on giving.

In trying times, we can always count on Bozo the Vice President to provide some welcome comic relief. Joe Biden was The Newshour on PBS last night in full swagger — threatening to personally ride into any town or locality that wastes porkulus money. Reader Robert watched it and e-mails: “[T]hey broadcast a snippet of Biden in full Barney Fife mode warning cities and towns across America that if he found out about them wasting crapulus money on stupid things (as of course only he and the RAT board will define), he would personally come to their town and let them know what’s what. I only caught a minute of it but it was hilarious.”

Here’s the audio clip of Biden’s remarks. It’s comedy gold about 16 seconds into the clip when the audience laughs at him while asserting “I’m serious, guys. I’m serious.”

Listen:

Transcript:

JIM LEHRER: Vice President Biden had a new warning for city and county officials today: spend the federal stimulus money wisely. The officials were in Washington for a day of schooling on the $787 billion program. Biden urged them not to use it for things like swimming pools, tennis courts, or golf courses.

JOSEPH BIDEN, Vice President of the United States: Because of the rules, the president and I can’t stop you from doing some things, but I’ll show up in your city and say, “This was a stupid idea.”

You think I’m kidding? This is the only part the president was right about: Don’t mess with Joe, because I mean it. I’m serious, guys. I’m serious. I’m absolutely serious.

Ok, watch out, Pawtucket, RI. Alert the Sheriff! You are spending $500,000 in stimulus funding on a skate park, tennis courts, and basketball courts.

Joe Biden is comin’ after ya.

Serious.

Posted in: Joe Biden

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Comments


  1. #654157
    On March 19th, 2009 at 7:51 pm, prendad said:

    On March 19th, 2009 at 5:31 pm, lgm said:
    Whatever your feelings about Biden’s light-hearted comment, it’s way better than Bush/Cheney: “Do whatever the #@!* you want with the money cause we don’t give a #@!?%.”
    If you’re a conservative and think government is dysfunctional, the way to prove it is to elect Republicans. They’ll give you dysfunctional government.

    Biden’s comment wasn’t light-hearted, it was light-headed.

    Dysfunctional government? I guess you were asleep when Reagan neutralized the USSR’s military machine and won the cold war. Or maybe you are too young to remember that.

  2. #654159
    On March 19th, 2009 at 7:53 pm, torabora said:

    he’s not funny

  3. #654168
    On March 19th, 2009 at 8:12 pm, Marie said:

    Biden is just a pus filled pimple on the big carbuncle called democrat!

  4. #654172
    On March 19th, 2009 at 8:19 pm, jbh45 said:

    Bad boyz bad boyz, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when Biden comes after you…

    Oh, I’m shaking….

  5. #654173
    On March 19th, 2009 at 8:19 pm, tamarah180 said:

    On March 19th, 2009 at 12:34 pm, walterc said:
    drivingjack said:

    And the people of Delaware have been re-electing him since 1970 what?

    Hey walterc #19 – the people of Massachusetts keep re-electing Barney Fife and Teddy. Nobody said that smart people vote.
    I understand that the people of Delaware don’t hold the patent on stupid voting. I was living in Utah when Orrin Hatch’s first senate campaign slogan was “three terms is long enough in the Senate”. I think he’s on his fifth or sixth term now.

    PSRK (People’s Socialist Republic of Kalifornia)has y’all beat so far y’all will NEVER catch up:
    Governator Ah-nold
    “Tax-’em-til-they-STFU” Shwartzer-ater

    Nazi Nan “Queen-of-Pork” Pelosi
    Barbara “Write-and-Pass-Laws-that-Benefit-her-Husband’s-Business” Boxer
    Diane “BO-is-constitutionally-qualified-to-be-POTUS” Feinstein (supposedly chaired vetting committee for POTUS)
    Lois Capps (Representative who thinks Operation Cast Lead was a “war crime” for which the Israeli Gov’t should stand trial.

    If my fiance wasn’t so cute and adorable, I’d still be in the great Socialist State of Colorado freezing off my patooty. I am so blessed – no joke. I get to sit this out in the garden and watch plants grow. And take care of my Honey. And make stuff to send to the Seven Dwarfs (my grandkids).

    Further OT – got the strawberries and tomatoes planted yesterday and cleaned up another patch for the lettuce and spinach patch. Just like Queen MO. Except I’m actually doing the work…

    :-)

  6. #654187
    On March 19th, 2009 at 8:52 pm, undresiege said:

    The DEMOCRATS controled congress
    The DEMOCRATS controled congress
    The DEMOCRATS controled congress
    The DEMOCRATS controled congress
    The DEMOCRATS controled congress
    The DEMOCRATS controled congress
    The DEMOCRATS controled congress
    The DEMOCRATS controled congress
    The DEMOCRATS controled congress
    The DEMOCRATS controled congress

    Get it yet???

    It cracks me up how you try to act like 2000-2006 didn’t exist. Were you in a coma?

  7. #654189
    On March 19th, 2009 at 8:55 pm, simcoe said:

    Ok, watch out, Pawtucket, RI. Alert the Sheriff! You are spending $500,000 in stimulus funding on a skate park, tennis courts, and basketball courts.

    Half a million in stimulus? Stimulus? How’s that gonna work, exactly? Skate, tennis, basketball.

    That’ll put all of a half dozen men to work—at minimum wage. Four of those will be illegal border jumpers so they won’t make quite minimum wage, and the others two will be keeping the shovels from falling over most of the day.

    Where will the other quarter million-plus be going, I wonder?

    Great stimulus!!

  8. #654200
    On March 19th, 2009 at 9:14 pm, JusDreamin said:

    Flyoverman said:
    Obama has no need for the Secret Service inside the U.S. His choice of Biden ensures no one will ever want to hurt Obama.

    Despite everything Obama does, everytime Biden opens his mouth you have this overwhelming desire to protect the President at all costs.

    No kidding Flyover. And god forbid, if anything should happen to dear leader, Joe would get the same protection. Just think of number 3 in line. Damn, now I need drink. Or 5.

  9. #654207
    On March 19th, 2009 at 9:28 pm, tbear44 said:

    Biden, holy cow what a bonehead.

  10. #654212
    On March 19th, 2009 at 9:38 pm, Ron said:

    When you see how inept this administration is, you have to be awfully humble that we couldn’t beat these idiots. Biden is a joke. Quayle was a genius compared to Joe.

  11. #654218
    On March 19th, 2009 at 9:57 pm, John Deaux said:

    On March 19th, 2009 at 5:51 pm, wighttrasch said:
    oooooooo, I love whoopee cushions.

    Apparently Biden doesn’t or he wouldn’t be trying the one cheek sneak as Soap suggests.

  12. #654222
    On March 19th, 2009 at 10:01 pm, PKAmmoTroop said:

    I’ll show up in your city and say, “This was a stupid idea.

    Only slightly less stupid than electing these happy@$$ morons

    Don’t blame Biden, Joe Biden is a symptom of the dumbing down of America. lgm’s retort in this thread is proof.

  13. #654224
    On March 19th, 2009 at 10:01 pm, John Deaux said:

    On March 19th, 2009 at 8:52 pm, undresiege said:

    It cracks me up how you try to act like 2000-2006 didn’t exist. Were you in a coma?

    TARP 1 and stimulus 1 were both under the Dem majority. The legislation intending to address the oversight issues with the mortgage industry were blocked by Dodd, Frank, and the Dems.

    No comas here. However, your blind obedience to your Dem masters and their talking points makes me think you’re brain dead.

  14. #654271
    On March 19th, 2009 at 10:39 pm, Micheleeroo said:

    You just wish Obama would resign and get out of Dodge. But then you realize that Joe Biden would be the replacement……..Oh my goodness. There IS NO better option!

  15. #654274
    On March 19th, 2009 at 10:42 pm, thefoundingfathers said:

    You just wish Obama would resign and get out of Dodge. But then you realize that Joe Biden would be the replacement……..Oh my goodness. There IS NO better option!

    If Biden resigns it Pelosi! God help us!

  16. #654282
    On March 19th, 2009 at 10:44 pm, right_on said:

    Biden has many problems, but the most obvious one is his lame attempts to make himself relevant. Compare, if you dare, Biden’s gravitas with that of the man he replaced as VP. One was a doer, while the other is a walking gaff machine.

    Both political parties are filled with narcissists, and the longer one of them stays in office, the more out of touch they become.

    It is rather obvious, however, that the Democrats, flush with newly found absolute power over the direction of the United States, have allowed it to overwhelm common sense.

    a problem with narcissists is that they believe they are better than everyone else. As a result when they get caught commiting crimes or making stupid blunders, they are mentally unable to take responsibility.

  17. #654289
    On March 19th, 2009 at 10:55 pm, beenthere said:

    One stands (or collapses) in awe. No satirist could make this stuff up.

  18. #654298
    On March 19th, 2009 at 11:01 pm, prendad said:

    And I’ll show up again, and again, and again, and. . . .

    Biden, your home planet Gnark called and they have revoked your interplanetary visa due to your dismal performance in your role as Gnarkian spy to planet Earth. You are hereby formally reassigned to stardusting duty in the Andromeda galaxy.

  19. #654358
    On March 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am, undresiege said:

    However, your blind obedience to your Dem masters and their talking points makes me think you’re brain dead.

    Brain dead? :) My brain hurts sometimes when I try to figure out how your republican controlled Congress gets a pass from you for everything that occured between 2000-2006. Then I just shake my head and know, it’s okay, accountabliity doesn’t apply to Republicans when it’s easier to just blame everything on Dodd, Pelois, Reid, and Frank. You’re a m… idiot if you don’t think spending was out of control during Bush’s first term and a half, not to mention waging a stupid war that cost trillions without figuring out a way to pay for it. We’ve been China’s bi*** for quite a while now, and republicans can blame themselves as well. Of course, accountability isn’t a part of your makeup.

  20. #654465
    On March 20th, 2009 at 5:35 am, graysonret said:

    This is why I don’t want anything to happen to “dear leader”. Lord, imagine Biden in the oval office!!

  21. #654568
    On March 20th, 2009 at 9:15 am, John Deaux said:

    On March 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am, undresiege said:

    Where have you ever seen me say I endorsed the out of control spending? I’ve had plenty of criticism for both parties. I’m a conservative and bad policy is bad policy regardless of who authored it.

    However, add up TARP 1 and stimulus 1 and they eclipse the prior deficit. Of course, it’s much easier for you to blame Bush for everything than actually acknowledge that the stimulus and omnibus are boondoggles to further the liberal agenda.

    How does it feel to be George Soros’ lapdog?

  22. #654739
    On March 20th, 2009 at 11:27 am, misterbee241 said:

    I’ve been wondering. Is Biden really as stupid as he appears to be, or is it all an act? I’ve met people in my time who deliberately led others to believe they were stupid and out of touch. How else to explain the people of Delaware giving Slow-Joe a lifetime seat in the Senate? Just wondering.

  23. #702631
    On May 18th, 2009 at 2:35 pm, serfer62 said:

    Biden’s sole reason as VP is to prevent impeachment…

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