Introducing the Obama Suckers Mutual Fund
Yes, Virginia, the Obama administration is still living in fantasy land — and wants to rope you into it, too. Here’s a coffee-spurting headline for you this morning. Turn your head away from your computer screens upon reading:
U.S. Imagines the Bailout as an Investment Tool
Wait, wait. It gets better:
During World War I, Americans were exhorted to buy Liberty Bonds to help their soldiers on the front.
Now, it seems, they will be asked to come to the aid of their banks — with the added inducement of possibly making some money for themselves.
As part of its sweeping plan to purge banks of troublesome assets, the Obama administration is encouraging several large investment companies to create the financial-crisis equivalent of war bonds: bailout funds.
The idea is that these investments, akin to mutual funds that buy stocks and bonds, would give ordinary Americans a chance to profit from the bailouts that are being financed by their tax dollars.
Seriously. They are still plying the line that our trillions of dollars’ worth of taxpayer “investments” are going to make money. And under the guise of democratizing the returns, they are trying to persuade Main Street “investors” who have been forced to invest in failing banks, other financial institutions, auto companies, and life insurers to “invest” again in trash.
Behold the Obama Suckers Mutual Fund:
The funds, the thinking goes, would buy troubled mortgage securities from banks, enabling the lenders to make the loans that are needed to rekindle the economy. Many of the loans that back these securities were made during the subprime era. If all goes well, the funds will eventually sell the investments at a profit.
But, as with any investment, there are risks. If, as some analysts suspect, the banks’ assets are worth even less than believed, the funds’ investors could suffer significant losses. Nonetheless, the administration and executives in the financial industry are pushing to establish the investment funds, in part to counter swelling hostility against the financial industry…
…Perhaps more important than the money would be the political bonus of having thousands or even millions of taxpayers — whose portfolios have nose-dived during the crisis and whose tax dollars are financing bank bailouts and stimulus packages — profit from the toxic asset plan.
FYI: No one else wants to buy up banks’ bad assets. Why should you?
Team Obama is trapped in the Land of Make Believe and they can’t get out.
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Here in Taxachusetts, you can opt to pay a slightly higher tax rate. A couple thousand do make that choice each year.
Perhaps they will volunteer to buy TARP bonds.
A much wiser investment in light of the government’s love of Keynesian foolishness would be TIPS (Treasury Inflation Protected Securities) and iBonds. Open a Treasury Direct Account. Or add some Inflation Protected Mutual Funds to your investments.
1. Invent bond to buy bad assets.
2. Sell bonds of bad assets.
3. ???
4. Profit.
Brilliant!
Or, you can invest in a bridge I just happen to own in Brooklyn … really … call me.
Bad Assets…the new oxymoron. Right up there with Jumbo Shrimp and Liberal Intelligence.
Uncle Sam invests in bank/credit card company.
Said bank/credit card company receives funds and then raises the interest rates and fees it charges its customers, the taxpayers.
Uncle Sam gets a good return on its investment that was made with said taxpayers money.
Now that’s investment redistribution Obama can be proud of.
3. Then a miracle happens
Who says liberals aren’t religious? Miracles like this are almost always required for their policies to work as planned.
Why do I keep hearing the old Lovin’ Spoonful hit, “Do you Believe in Magic?” in my head?
Hmmmmmm
Why not cut out the middle man and give the money directly to a crack head?
Translation:
not enuff big boys eg: pensions,mutual funds,hedge funds etc are willing to play the obambi/taxcheat shell game
with toxic assets.
keep in mind they have said taxpayers will pony up damn near all the $ absorb all the risk and stil no takers.
they have also said they will let banks who get TARP $ buy toxic assets be BUYERS of other TARP bank’s toxic asstes
no takers.
this was after they had no takers in Europe to spend more China balking …..
and ya wonder why obambi needs a red herring of shamnesty?
THAT is snort worthy MM
fly,
not sure but its better than a manilow song
Obama and the Democrats seem to have no problem pissing other peoples money away, so this is hardly a stretch.
Maybe the Chinese just said no to purchasing any more American debt.
Yep, smoke and mirrors. Anybody see the hand of Axlegrease here?
O/T but in the same vein:
Bush aides call BS on Biden’s Walter Mitty Fantasies
One little detail.
Banks *are* selling their assets.
At a loss.
It’s called foreclosure.
It *can* be profitable – for a person willing to buy the foreclosed property.
It *is* a loss for the bank.
Mew
Say, when the government gets reimbursed all this money from the private sector and the investment “pays off” (bear with me, here), the profit they make is going straight back to the taxpayers in the form of checks, right?
Wait, it won’t? You mean on the off chance any of this junk worked, they would keep the profits and still tax us? Still even raise our taxes?
Ya know, for an “investment”, something’s not adding up here.
I wonder how many state pensions are going to invest in these funds.
oops, too late.
He already sucked em in.
You have to be a complete moron to have voted for this dipstick.
So the administration realizes that all of the money they’re extorting from us in the form of taxes still isn’t enough to pay for everything on the Democraps’ wish list, so they have come up with a scheme to sucker people into voluntarily parting with even more of their money. An alternative would be to play Paul Bunyan with wasteful and unnecessary spending programs, but liberals are morally and intellectually incapable of understanding the wisdom of such an approach.
Ya, I should be thankful, huh?
Or drunk. Don’t forget about drunk. Also, I heard some frats were using it as a Rush Week initiation. And of course I am sure a handful just did it on a triple dog dare.
So this is throwback from his drug dealing days?
Wait, guys…!!!
This is a GREAT idea.
All future spending on Porkulus should have to be funded this way.
Let the American people show by their voluntary, market choice to buy bonds how much they believe the hype from the “stimulus” package.
WAY, WAY better than having the G take our money by compulsion in the form of taxes and inflation.
I think we should INSIST on bonds….!!!
Everyone else but TurboTimmy & Co. sees that little box in the middle of all this labeled “a miracle occurs here.”
Sounds like a carny barker roping in the suckers. The barker is just more honest about it all.
Somehow, I doubt Vanguard will offer this fund.
and no one believed Obama gained experience from being a community organizer!
I’m just wondering how much Obama, Nancy, Harry, Chris, Timmy and Barny (Frank, I think the dinosaur has more sense) are going to invest in these funds.
Personally I’m waiting for Madoff to get out of prison before I start investing in anything other than food and ammo again.
For the love of Mike, the Underpants Gnomes had a better business plan!
“Fat, Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life Son.”
Animal House
“Bye Bye, Buy Tarp Bonds” just does not have the same ring to it as the old Pathé News close.
Make that two.
HAHAHAHAHA. I might buy into it if you sell me those assets at $.001 on the dollar. Maybe. Morons. That’s why they are called toxic assets. The socialist government autocrats are hoping for $.40 on the dollar. They are dreaming.
This is like little kids playing in the medicine cabinet.
Kid1: “Here, drink this!”
Kid2: “What is it?”
Kid1: “I don’t know!”
Kid2: “Well, what’s it say?”
Kid1: “Toxic!”
Kid2: “Okay!”
Me three.
I wonder if they seriously expect people to buy into this or if, like their recent Bash America tour of Europe, it’s just more gorilla PR from the Obama adminisration?
If real, for anyone to actually buy one of these so-called “bonds” is the equivalent of wading one’s money up and tossing into a bonfire.
What’s more, isn’t it irresponsible, if not downright misleading, for the Obama administration to use the official apparatus of government to lure people into buying what amounts to little more than a Ponzi scheme or a shell game?
wait a minute, didn’t this whole thing start because bawney and his colleagues at fannie/freddie backed a buttload of bad debt, bundled them into cdo’s and conned the rating agencies to give them aaa ratings, nd sold them to unsuspecting banks and investors around the world. then, the taxpayers of the u.s. had to make those almighty sultans of credit swaps whole, so we supposedly bought these toxic assets. now you tell me we just gave the money to the banks, they still hold the toxic assets, and are going to sell them to investors again? HOW MANY TIMES DO THESE THIEVES GET TO SCREW AMERICA BEFORE SOMEONE TAKES NOTICE? BARNEY, ARE YOU OUT THERE?
Wonderful idea. You could set up a couple of government corporations to sell these things. You might call them something cute like Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac and get a bunch of gullible investors to buy them up as if they had real value….. Oh yeah, they already did that. Is it jut me, or are these people stuck in the ’30s? Feels like a time warp. I expect a Model T to pass my house any time now.
On April 9th, 2009 at 9:28 am,
Which one was your excuse?
The voice in my head said the Mets would win the World Series this year if I did.
Soooo…how many shares will George Soros be buying?
Didn’t think so.
I DID NOT!!!
***
President O’Bummer (PBUH) and his brilliant Treasury Secretary can’t put enough perfume, spice, and sugar on this C**P SANDWICH to kill the smell and taste. To paraphrase the immortal Bard–a C**P SANDWICH by any other name stinks just as bad. The toxic stench lingers on.
***
John Bibb
***
Is there a leveraged double short ETF based on those funds? If so, I’m in!
Too bad the White House Press Office doesn’t have to add all the fine print which any other financial product advertisement would have to include.
I hear rumors that movers and shakers in Team Obama, New School types, think private IRAs and 401K’s are a bad idea, because some people lose money, and want the government to nationalize peoples 401K’s, match a certain small percentage deducted from the pay check pre-tax, and guarantee a small but safe rate of return.
If they can combine these two, we can match the gargantuan nature of the Ponzi Scheme known as Social Security, with a new retirement system based on an even bigger fraud, that would make Bernie Madoff look like a 3 card monte hustler on a street corner!
Everyone who voted for Obama should be forced to buy these investments with their ‘tax refunds’ and stimulus checks.
Change they can believe in!
Please, please, please. You dont get initiated during Rush Week.
Rush Week is when everyone takes all those pictures of you, that eventually are used against you, thereby allowing for your personal relationship with a sheep DURING initiation! You know, the same pics that end up in your FBI file that was in Hillary Clintons closet.
A: Banks bundled and sold that toxic debt for years and the companies left holding it
were ruinedare being bailed out. But now that debt is a GOOD investment??? Morons!B: Our gov’t is in the hands of the Underpants Gnomes. Their business plan is always the same:
Phase I: Steal underpants (or tax your constituents down to their underpants)
Phase III: Profits
They have no Phase II and have no idea how to get from stealing your underpants to enabling a healthy economy. They don’t seem to care.