Requiem for a teleprompter
Photoshop credit: David A Stein
One of President Obama’s teleprompters met an untimely death today.
I hear Sheila Jackson-Lee is working on a congressional resolution honoring TOTUS.
The White House has not yet decided on an open- or closed-casket viewing.
***
Flashback: Fun with TOTUS
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Trackbacks
- Tragedy strikes Team Obama! « The Daley Gator
- The Strident Conservative
- Obama’s teleprompter shatters – much like what he’s done to the economy | Fire Andrea Mitchell!
- Ode to the Beloved Teleprompter « Jim Blazsik
- RIP TOTUS the First 2009-2009 - The Angry White Guy
- TOTUS Misbehaves Again… TOTUS vs. POTUS « Frugal Café Blog Zone
- Teleprompter of the United States, TOTUS, Rest in Peace « Frugal Café Blog Zone
- Teleprompter of the United States, TOTUS, Rest in Peace « Frugal Café Blog Zone
- TOTUS Commits Suicide! | The Great Illuminator
- Teleprompter Breaks; Obama On Rampage « The Clampdown
- TOTUS Commits Suicide — Behind Blue Lines
- President Obama’s Teleprompter: 2007-2009. « Around The Sphere
- Another one bites the dust « THE DANDELION
- President Obama: A Teleprompter, A Teleprompter, My Popularity for A Teleprompter! « Pronk Palisades
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Wow! I didn’t know that TOTUS was such a dangerous job.
Telly, we hardly knew ye.
Bring out the grassy knoll conspiracy theorists in 3…2…
“OMG, they killed
KennyTOTUS ! …You b**tards!”I have it from a reliable, anonymous source that Telly committed suicide. He could not live with the shame as co-conspirator in helping to destroy his country.
Didn’t even know Oblingo was back in the U.S. Who knew? Who cared?
It’s also occurring to me with his “sorry about that, guys” apology and, oh, bumping his head on Marine One, trying to re-enter the White House from a window instead of a door, not knowing how many states there are during the campaign, naming Bill Gates his Secretary of Defense and other grand Obamateurisms (hat top: Hot Air), we have apparently elected Maxwell Smart as President of these United States.
I have it from reliable sources that Rush Limbaugh set it up.
I’m sure there’s a way to blame it on Sarah Palin.
Anyway, the state funeral should be small and intimate, right? no more than ten million dollars all told.
The fact that a teleprompter continues to be a running joke in the coverage of this administration, speaks volumes about the ventriloquist-dummy nature of this sock-puppet presidency.
Thank God we have the unending “King of Pop” coverage to keep us diverted from the real train-wreck going on in Washington.
As Rome burns, Zero fiddles. Pathetic.
Just curious, was it the left or right TOTUS that died?
Watching Obama will now be like watching half a tennis match.
I wonder…will TOTUS be buried at Arlington with full military honors?
Now Zombie-TOTUS wanders DC with a ravenous hunger for brains. Worry not, for it will starve itself.
Wouldn’t that be glassy knoll….???
Or should that be glassy scroll…????
Hmm.
Obviously this was a Bush Administration clandestine operation designed to embarrass his successor.
It appears the TOTUS was striken by the hot air rushing out of the the Great Pontificator’s oral orafice. The more the Pontificator spoke the hotter the air and finally the hot air was hot enough to cause up currents from mixing with the cool air from the ozone destroying, green house gas producing air conditioning system in the Executive Office Building.
The TOTUS tried in vain to stay at his post, but the hot air full of lies mixing with the cool air was too much for him to take. He lost his ability to balance when the big gusher of provarication about urban policy came across his screen and the hot air came rushing at him and he decided that prevent the Pontificator from provaricating anymore was the only thing to do for the good of his country. So in the tradition of the great Nathan Hale, he gave up his life so hopefully all would notice the deceptions at hand.
Now we need to find out if the crashing glass fell on deaf ears?
RIP
No, it will be cremated, and the ashes scattered over the CNN newsroom…
…In other news, a typewriter that had belonged to Marilyn Monroe was found inoperable today, with massive amounts of WD-40 sprayed inside. Police do not suspect foul play, saying the typewriter had overlubed itself.
No, Obeamer had Totus rubbed out! Obeamer heard that Totus was a conservative!
I’m guessing the teleprompter committed suicide… I mean, if you had to listen to that lying jerk day after day after day wouldn’t you?
It was a hit by the CIA, ordered by Dick Cheney.
Oh, no! I’m heartbroken. It was so young and had so much to live for.
The only question now is when Obama will call in Sharpton & Co. to thank the teleprompter for showing us how to love.
Brooke Shields will deliver the eulogy. After all, they had a bond.
“Thank you, teleprompter!”
“Thank you, teleprompter!!”
“Thank you, teleprompter!!!”
Bring out the grassy knoll conspiracy theorists in 3…2…
Heh – and I hate you for coming up with those before I did, Rags!
I don’t think we are supposed to talk about this, but there is breaking news on the Obama birth certificate, or lack thereof, issue at:
http://www.wnd.com
Sounds like a judge has finally heard the case rather than throwing it out on some technicality.
Bad time for Obama what with having only one working teleprompter and all.
If a teleprompter falls but Obama is not around to read from it, does it make a sound?
At a hastily called press conference, Al Gore warned that teleprompters will soon go the way of the polar bear unless drastic action is taken to reverse climate change. The National Press Club in Washington, D.C. immediately called for teleprompters to be added to the endangered speeches list.
BREAKING NEWS: according to preliminary autopsy results, the First Teleprompter died from a freak accident. Apparently, while serving up the Obama cool aid, TOTUS inhaled a bit too much of the toxic fumes and blacked out, resulting in the fatal fall to the floor below.
Stimulus funds STAT!
- to the makers, replacers
of Teleprompter, leftside.
Actually TOTUS is alright and getting better (Until some WH staff member finishes him off that is).
The last words Obama spoke before TOTUS bit the dirt were, “This Recovery Act has worked as intended. If I am lying may God strike down that which is most dear to me.” When TOTUS fell to the floor, Michelle Obama and Jermaine Jackson both ran from the room screaming, “It should have been me!”
It is off topic, BOB, but even the LATimes is making note of it, for whatever that’s worth:
“Supporters of a case that disputes the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s presidency claimed a small victory today when U.S. District Judge David O. Carter told them to fix their paperwork and that he would listen to “the merits” of their case. But others present for the hearing Monday at the federal courthouse in Santa Ana stressed that the case remains a long way from ever getting a full airing in court and may never get to that point.”
Opponents claim small court victory
Obama lied!
TOTUS DIED!
When is there going to be an investigation into this matter?
(grin).
The coroner revealed that TOTUS died from overworking.
He was used daily by His Magesty, Supreme Ruler of All, Lord Incarnat, Messiah, Savior of Mankind, The Limitless Ocean of Love, Mercy, Compassion, Grace, and Inspiration, The One, Mister Hope and Change, Barrack Hussein Obama (Peace be unto Him! Praise His Holy Name! Worship Him with every moment. Prostrate yourself before Him in adoration and complete submission. Come to Him. Give Him your burdens and He will give you peace. If you help him out and devote yourself to Him, He will take care of all your needs, such as pay for your car, your gasoline for your car, pay for your house, your vacations, you health care, your and your children’s education, and more. All Hail the Creator and Revealer of All).
/sarcasm off
Papa Louie,
Speaking of Jermaine Jackson, did you see/hear him sing “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin at the memorial service held at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California a few days ago?
I wanted to know what Jermaine did with the money his mother gave him for singing lessons. Did he buy candy with it instead of attend the lessons and pay the teacher?
Is Jermaine Jackson tone deaf?
TOTUS, Rest in Piece (pieces).
This is so symbolic – it represents our country at the moment.
In other news today, the “Peoples Cube” report that terrorists have kidnapped a teleprompter:
http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=3474
no let’s make that ABC (Always Barak Channel)and bury health care along with it…anybody who the TOTUS relatives are and who might be getting the insurance company payout??
I don’t think this will ever be “on topic” here. Apparently Michelle is fully convinced of Obama’s eligibility to be president.
I wish she would write a column telling us how she arrived at that conclusion.
I cna’t think of anything political that is more important.
Eerily similar to the Hindenberg disaster, a wailing reporter could be heard crying out, “Oh, the technology!!”
We inherited this mess!……It’s George Bush’s fault!…..America is sorry for the poor quality of TOTUS that fell apart on slight impact!….Can’t I just eat my waffle?
The left TOTUS gave up the ghost.
Can the right TOTUS talk some sense into this guy?
I think it was suicide. This is just further proof that words can kill.
Not before a memorial at The Staples Center.
…and lie in state in the Capitol Rotunda…
Not before a memorial at The Staples Center, and Papa Doc Al Sharpie DEMANDS the Postal Service issue a commemorative stamp in honor of TOTUS-and yes indeed It’s George Bush’s fault!
I’ll bet Axelrod was a little worried…
Funny Stuff!
I noticed in the video he kept trying to do the tennis match thing. He would turn his head to the left and very quickly turn back to the right. If the other teleprompter had died he would have been totally helpless. Pathetic.
Surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash.
Obama is such a putz. Did I see worry on his face as he tried to explain his actions in the hopes of stopping the downhill trend the polls are taking??? HUMMMMM?? Right Odumbo, keep telling us how you took “swift action” at the “start of your administration.”
Translation: “Please like me.”
So DuhOne only looked to his right during the speech and didn’t do that annoying tennis match head thing?
TOTUS is dead? Were the Clintons involved? I heard nasty rumours about Anorexia and track marks from Demerol abuse. Who gets custody of the little TOTI?
We need another Warren Commission!
It was suicide. TOTUS jumped.
So…will Speaker of the Prompter move to Vice TOTUS, as the remaining prompter assumes the throne?
In a related story…
The Pentagon is launching a multi-million dollar research program in collaboration with GE, The Rand Corp., and Dr. Phil into weaponizing the power of the “Evil Eye”, or Hawaiian “Stink Eye”, following the unfortunate mishap with TOTUS.
One White House staffer, speaking on condition of being scared for his or her life, noted that the President became slightly piqued when TOTUS scrolled forward in an apparent effort to get Mr. Obama’s remarks over with more quickly. It was then that the President’s eyes were noted by observers to flash momentarily. Seconds later, TOTUS fell, mortally wounded, to the floor.
I heard a quick soundbite on the radio yesterday from StinkEye castagating his congresscritters for scuttlebutting over Obamacare while he was out of the country. Can’t find any follow-up story…
I tried in vain to find a video clip that would be very appropriate here. It’s from the 2010 movie, and Richard Dreyfuss is explaining to Roy Scheider why the HAL 9000 computer went haywire. “HAL was ordered to lie, by people who find it very easy to lie.”
Bottom Line:
Obama is now only half a man/child since loosing his left TOTUS.
He was overheard remarking that if the nation had Universal Healthcare, this incident would have never happened. TOTUS would be, at this very second, receiving the best maintenance care needed to pull itself back together.
Obama expected to speak in Warren on Tuesday
By TODD SPANGLER • FREE PRESS WASHINGTON STAFF • July 10, 2009
WASHINGTON — At what was originally billed as a town hall meeting in metro Detroit, President Barack Obama now is expected to travel to Michigan on Tuesday to deliver a speech at Macomb County Community College in Warren, the White House said today.
The topic was not announced.
Nor was the time — though it was clear from the press logistics that the event at the Robert E. Turner Advanced Technology Center would be after 2:30 p.m. Tuesday, perhaps at 3 p.m.
The speech is not open to the public and no other details were released. It will be Obama’s first visit to Michigan as president; he was last in the state during the 2008 campaign.
Losing a left testicle can be devestating, but a left telepromter can be equally devastating.
I hear there was only a little pane.
Rags: Actually, “THE look” was first exercised by FLOTUS…
http://media.photobucket.com/image/michelle%20obama%20sarkozy%20normandy/mikesamerica/mikesamerica2/untitfghrfgled.jpg
I think that we need to examine this from an entirely different angle. We’re too wrapped up in teleprompter assassination conspiracy theories.
I think this is indicative of the growing divide in the Obama administration. Refusing to be a part of the demise of American Republic, it’s my theory that TOTUS leaped to his own death.
Sorry about the length, but I couldn’t resist…
AMERICAN PILE
(with apologies to Don McLean)
A long, long time ago…
I can still remember a Congress that was not so vile.
And they knew if they had a chance, they could put people in a trance, and maybe they’d shut up for awhile.
But January made me shiver
Had to drink until I hurt my liver
Bad news in the White House, wasn’t just another louse
I can’t say I felt any pride
When I read about his angry bride
But some thing hurt me deep inside
The day the TOTUS died.
(REFRAIN)
So buh-bye, the TOTUS is toast.
Watched Chevy get debt-heavy, and Chrysler can’t boast.
And Congress laughed, downing whiskey and roast, singing “I’m as dumb as a post, I’m as dumb as a post”.
Didn’t make the Summer of Love?
And you believe in God Above? Then you’re a terror that’s homemade.
Now do you believe in Cap and Trade?
Do you need financial aid?
And can we send another Afghan raid?
Now I know the Left’s in love with him, ‘cause I saw the rantings of lgm.
Then Obama left our sod,
To give the Queen her own IPod.
I am a middle-aged taxpayer,
White collar, not a union brick layer
Did not have a prayer, the day TOTUS died.
We started singing…(REFRAIN)
For two centuries, we’ve done OK
Kept the faith and evil at bay
But that’s not how it’s going to be.
When the Gorester showed a silly slide show,
He watched his profits grow and grow
In a voice that bored you and me.
While the world was doing a yawner
The Gorester stole his first Oscar.
All common sense was adjourned, and a Nobel was returned.
And while Obambi read a book by Saul
The economy slowed to a crawl
And we couldn’t believe it all, the day the TOTUS died.
And we were singing…(REFRAIN)
Hocus Pocus, you’ll lose your focus
The tax dodgers came with all their bogus
Turbo tax mistakes and limos fast
Each one more of a jackass
A stimulus was the first to pass
Each dollar spent, increasing the morass.
Now in no time air was sweet perfume
While CNN played an obedient tune
Matthews’ tingle went up his leg, MSNBC had ratings to beg
‘Cause elephants tried to take the field
Pelosi and Reid refused to yield
No written bill was revealed, the day the TOTUS died.
And we were singing…(REFRAIN)
And then we were all in one place
North Korea going into space
With Iran left to taunt again.
So Barack be nimble, Barack be quick, Barack with another trick
‘cause Rahm is the Devil’s only friend.
Oh, I watched Him on the world stage
Looked like a bow to the Saudi sage
All the press as well, claimed that he just fell
GM’s stocks fell from sight, the CEO told to fly a kite
I saw Obama laughing with delight, the day the TOTUS died.
And we were singing…(REFRAIN)
I knew that I had the blues, so I turned on the cable news, Jacko was on night and day.
I tuned in to listen to Rush
Whom the FCC tried to hush and won’t give up until the final shush
And in the streets, illegals groaned
“They have rights,” the Dems bemoaned
Congress went through more loops, trying to forget our own troops
Looked for someone to be so brazen, Honest Abe or Ronald Reagan
They left this world for a better haven
The day the TOTUS died. And they were singing…
(REFRAIN)
It’s a time for solemn reflection.
Now, we only see through a glass darkly…
TOTUS had been complaining lately of a pain in it’s stand, but being enrolled in Obamacare, it was put on a six month waiting list. It was told by janitor who reviewed it’s symptoms that it HAD to stay on the job till it could be seen by a qualified TOTUS care specialist.
Rush is going to have a field-day playing the sound bite of the teleprompter’s crashing thud and Obama’s weak initial-response, every time there’s bad economic news to report.
TOTUS had been complaining lately of a weakness in it’s stand, but being enrolled in Obamacare, it was put on a six month waiting list. It was told by janitor who reviewed it’s symptoms that it HAD to stay on the job till it could be seen by a qualified TOTUS care specialist.
I guess someone will tell me that’s racist.
spacey – allow me….
That was racist and I know because I’ve been accused of it many, many times.
Thanks, that was great!!
It was the klutzy ghost of Gerald Ford.
They shoulda had their personal witch doctor shake the wildebeest tail & crack a hornbill’s egg before moving in.
Or was it a kudu tail and leopard’s teeth?
Perhaps, but you get bonus points for a relatively obscure Philip K. Dick reference.
JD–I’m all about the extra credit!
True, but I think it was in Corinthians first
cabrerski; yes, I was going with Paul.
I think George Patton also quoted it in one of his poems.
You guys/gals are just too much – thanks for the laughter this morning. Just a quick question – can someone function with only one TOTUS or would they need a TOTUS transplant? Would Okeydokey need hormones or something in order to speak coherently? I was so hoping the sad loss of TOTUS would result in Okeydokey shutting the h-ll up! No such luck.
Good question, I hadn’t thought of that. Was it the even-word TOTUS or the odd-word TOTUS that broke?
The teleprompter began scrolling independent thought!
It HAD to be taken out!
Yes, but they can’t have little 3X5s.
Omen for the Puppet and Chief?
The future of this country is going to look like ‘Blade Runner’ but not as bright.
“Do TOTUSes (TOTI?) dream of electric sheep?”
No they dream of Freddie Mercury, Barney Frank and Queen!
GSP
“This is Sparta!”
Are you implying TOTUS was gay and died of aids?