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'Racial Harmony Through Beer' initiative kicks off Thursday

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By Doug Powers  •  July 28, 2009 11:42 AM

A date and time has been set for the re-education of Officer Crowley — I mean, some meaningful dialog on race:

A White House official tells ABC News that Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Cambridge Police Sgt. James Crowley will have beers with President Obama Thursday at 6 pm ET.

“The president sees this as an opportunity to get dialogue going on an issue that’s been historically troubling,” senior adviser David Axelrod told CBS Sunday.

In this case, the dialog was the problem. Traditionally, adding alcohol to any already tense situation doesn’t work out very well, but I’m sure things will be different just as soon as Crowley settles in for a mandatory viewing of the Rodney King video.

As I wrote in my column yesterday, The Gates of Babble-On, I was disappointed that Officer Crowley accepted the invitation, because to do so is a tantamount to an admission of guilt to a charge of racism. This much is certain: Crowley isn’t being invited over to be the recipient of an apology or even to engage in “meaningful dialog” – but for an intervention, community organizer-style.

I was hoping that Crowley would only accept Obama’s offer if the president and Gates also agreed to meet with him and some of his fellow officers at the Cambridge Police Station.

In any case, maybe this meeting might at least inspire a commercial:

Bud Light presents: Real men of racial genius (♫ “Reeaaal men of racial geniuuussss …” ♫)

Today, we salute you, Mr. anti-racial profiling racial profiler guy. (♫ “Mr. Anti-Racial Profiling Racial Profiler Guy!” ♫)

Armed with knowledge of a long history of past injustice and a laundry list of “yo momma” jokes, you proudly defend yourself against the racist cop who showed up assuming you were a crook. And why? Because somehow that racist made one of your own neighbors call the cops on you. (♫ “Put that night-stick away!” ♫)

Undaunted in your quest to prove that the best way to win the long struggle to end profiling is by assuming that all white cops are racists, you demonstrate that oppression has to have been experienced to be understood. And who better understands the nightmare of minority oppression in America than a university professor who earns a high six-figure salary and has summers off?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh beacon of blind assumptions. Because ironically, even though the honkies are out to get you, you’ll always be welcome in the White House.

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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