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Small Business Week at the White House: Economics for Dummies, But Mostly the Other Way Around

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By Doug Powers  •  May 25, 2010 02:25 PM

**Written by guest-blogger Doug Powers

Today President Obama addressed small business owners in the Rose Garden and offered the kind of economic wisdom that only someone who has never run a business anywhere except into the ground can impart.

These three quotes are just a sample of the kind of advice that those who own small businesses or aspire to do so might have missed out on:

Being a successful small business person isn’t just about collecting a profit or outperforming your competition. It’s about contributing to the success of this country’s economy.

Has a small business owner ever “contributed to the success of this country’s economy” by losing money and underperforming their competition? Of course it’s about collecting a profit and outperforming the competition!

Now, the government can lose money (it’s not theirs anyway) and underperform the competition (there isn’t any, and yet they still manage to underperform it) and still seemingly flourish, so it isn’t hard to see why career politicians can’t understand why the private sector can’t do the same.

And here’s another:

“This should not be an issue of big government versus small government. This is an issue that involves putting our government on the side of the small-business owners who create most of the jobs in this country.”

If you just heard a loud “clunk” it was Adam Smith hitting his head on the lid of his coffin.

“So you see, the bigger the government gets, the more we can help you and the economy!”

A huge, all-powerful and intrusive government can be a terrific boon to the job market. Look at China — they have several full-time jobs devoted just to picking tattered clothing out of tank treads (150 yuan a week and you get to keep the clothes!).

And the funniest for last…

I want to acknowledge a couple folks before we get started. First of all, we’ve got some special guests who are here from wonderful states. They are doing great work. We’re very, very proud of them — Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm and Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle.

Oh man… Ann Coulter was right… Obama sure is a better comedian than a president!

Giving a talk to small business owners and heaping praise upon Jennifer Granholm is a little like addressing the people cleaning up the Gulf “ocean” oil spill and giving a shout-out to “my brilliant advisor on this issue, Captain Hazelwood.”

**Written by guest-blogger Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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