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Google to Pay Heterosexuals Less Than Homosexuals

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By Doug Powers  •  July 1, 2010 11:37 AM

**Written by guest-blogger Doug Powers

I’m a little punchy after a day of listening to Elena Kagan doing her best impression of the love child of Betty Friedan and Nathan Thurm, so I hope I’m reading this story wrong, but knowing Google, I highly doubt it:

Google plans to pay gay employees more

Google is set to begin covering a cost that gay and lesbian employees must pay when their partners receive domestic partner health benefits, according to a report in the New York Times.

The cost is largely to compensate these workers for an extra tax that heterosexual married couples do not pay. The increase will be retroactive to the beginning of the year, the newspaper said.

Google is not the first large company to make up for the extra tax, the Times reported, adding that Google’s move could inspire its Silicon Valley competitors to follow suit, as they compete for the same talent.

If that doesn’t seem like discrimination, let’s flip it on its ear: I own a company that employs both caucasians and minorities. I put out a memo announcing that I’ve discovered that my white employees are paying higher property taxes, so in order to make it “fair” to everyone, I’m going to start paying white employees more so they can cover their extra property taxes.

Jesse Jackson would be knocking on my door in 3…2…1…

Since it’s illegal to ask an employee (or interviewee) to divulge his or her sexual preference, how exactly is Google finding out who’s straight and who’s gay so they know who to pay more?

The only remaining question is this: How many straight Google employees will go all “Chuck & Larry” just to make Google pay them a little extra money? Hopefully all of them.

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“Live long and prosper more than straight people”

**Written by guest-blogger Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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