Did You Know...

**Written by guest-blogger Doug Powers

NASA Administrator Charlie Bolden first mentioned the challenge given him by President Obama back in February, but the story started making the rounds again thanks to Bolden’s laughably patronizing interview with Al Jazeera:

NASA Administrator Charles Bolden said in a recent interview that his “foremost” mission as the head of America’s space exploration agency is to improve relations with the Muslim world.

Though international diplomacy would seem well outside NASA’s orbit, Bolden said in an interview with Al Jazeera that strengthening those ties was among the top tasks President Obama assigned him. He said better interaction with the Muslim world would ultimately advance space travel.

“When I became the NASA administrator — or before I became the NASA administrator — he charged me with three things. One was he wanted me to help re-inspire children to want to get into science and math, he wanted me to expand our international relationships, and third, and perhaps foremost, he wanted me to find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science … and math and engineering,” Bolden said in the interview.

Obama insists on spreading the wealth around the world, but now, since we’re perilously close to being out of wealth, NASA is charged with redistributing self-esteem? I can already see the Sally Struthers PSA’s: “For the price of only a cup of Apollo 11 feelgood, you can help convince a child over here that their country had something to do with it. Please help!”

Many Muslims youths in the 1970′s didn’t consider being an astronaut to be a viable career option thanks to that infidel Jim Henson and his Pigs in Space, but even still, wouldn’t it be cheaper to Photoshop an Islamic flag on the moon and just tell them they’ve alredy been there? If you’re going to lie, lie big!

There were and are Muslim astronauts — how in the world were they motivated to get the training without Obama’s manufactured inspiration?

In February, Bolden offered a clue about what this is really about:

Specifically, he talked about connecting with countries that do not have an established space program and helping them conduct science missions. He mentioned new opportunities with Indonesia, including an educational program that examines global climate change.

So it’s a combination Muslim outreach/global warming study, which most likely means that Muslim astronauts will be spending considerable time orbiting Al Gore while all parties involved figure out how to stick a landing in America’s wallet (body waste will be jettisoned over the homes of Trey Parker and Matt Stone). Hopefully NASA weeds out any astronaut applicants who are only concerned with learning how to take off and don’t seem too concerned with how to land.

Before anybody in the administration starts using this as inspiration for Muslims, let’s get it out of the way right now: Neil Armstrong never converted to Islam.

My guess is that this program will be discontinued, ending in a crescendo of frustration once everyone realizes the maddening futility of zero-gravity stonings.

Comedy Central is expected to have absolutely no comment on the above story.

Update: Don’t miss Charles Krauthammer’s take on this subject.

**Written by guest-blogger Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe