Illegal Alien Gets Taxpayer Funded Penis Pump

By Doug Powers  •  July 16, 2010 11:03 PM

**Written by guest-blogger Doug Powers

We might as well go ahead and coin the phrase “undocumented erection.”

Via an email from “Infidel Joe,” here’s the scoop from Minnesota’s Shakopee News:

A man in the country illegally who committed a $27,000 identity-theft crime in Scott County was able to obtain tens of thousands of dollars in governmental medical assistance, including surgery for an inflatable penis pump.

In response to heightened concern about illegal immigration since a gang-related stabbing in Shakopee, Scott County Attorney Pat Ciliberto has been tallying known costs to taxpayers and gave this example.

“There’s no logical argument for why that should have been approved,” Ciliberto told county commissioners on Tuesday. “I don’t know how many illegal aliens are getting emergency medical assistance for such a procedure.”

Open for discussion: If Minnesota police decide to question somebody just because he’s trouser-tenting at the time, does that constitute profiling?

Eric Holder’s argument might be that this is equitable, because every time an illegal alien gets a taxpayer-funded penis pump, we all get the shaft. What’s not fair about that?

Update: The Daley Gator has a fitting video to go with this story.

**Written by guest-blogger Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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Comments


  1. #1
    On July 16th, 2010 at 11:10 pm, infidel4life said:

    Peter Principle meets free health care.

  2. #2
    On July 16th, 2010 at 11:16 pm, jamesgreenidge said:

    Why aren’t more people ticked off at things like this? Do we laugh at the humor of it while they fleece our pockets??

    James Greenidge
    Queens NY

  3. #3
    On July 16th, 2010 at 11:28 pm, Bob69 said:

    Vote em out, from the local precinct guy to the local senator or rep to your federal representatives,,, no more PC crap either. Vote em out……..

  4. #4
    On July 16th, 2010 at 11:38 pm, SHoward said:

    I have a 5 cfm vacuum pump, used for evacuating automotive AC systems. I wonder what would happen if we hooked that up to him…..

  5. #5
    On July 17th, 2010 at 12:06 am, zorro said:

    On July 16th, 2010 at 11:16 pm, jamesgreenidge said:

    Why aren’t more people ticked off at things like this? Do we laugh at the humor of it while they fleece our pockets??

    Ditto

  6. #6
    On July 17th, 2010 at 12:14 am, coffee said:

    You’re just trying to get a rise out of me.

  7. #7
    On July 17th, 2010 at 1:18 am, purplepeep said:

    Shakopee is part of the Twin Cities – Minneapolis and St.Paul – Metro Area, both cities are “sanctuary cities”.
    (Just in case illegals were wondering where they can go to get free sex toys.)

  8. #8
    On July 17th, 2010 at 1:53 am, ThunderHawkk said:

    I’ve been reading this post for 4 hours. I’m calling a doctor.

  9. #9
    On July 17th, 2010 at 1:55 am, prendad said:

    Excuse me, I have to go puke.

  10. #10
    On July 17th, 2010 at 2:01 am, Straight_Talk_Luigi said:

    Why aren’t more people ticked off at things like this? Do we laugh at the humor of it while they fleece our pockets?

    Because Minnesotans have a self-loathing, self-defeatist Scandinavian mentality.

    It’s a liberal state that just doesn’t get it until it’s wayyy too late.

  11. #11
    On July 17th, 2010 at 2:04 am, Hangfire said:

    Tings are lookin’ oop in Minnesota, ja, shoor, ya betcha.”

  12. #12
    On July 17th, 2010 at 2:50 am, SpeakEasy said:

    This is a serious case of fraud. If convicted, this man is facing a stiff sentence.

  13. #13
    On July 17th, 2010 at 3:13 am, purplepeep said:

    Straight_Talk_Luigi said:
    Because Minnesotans have a self-loathing, self-defeatist Scandinavian mentality.

    I believe you’ll find that good hardworking people from Scandinavia, along with folks from elsewhere, built the state.

    It’s a liberal state that just doesn’t get it until it’s wayyy too late.

    Actually, it’s the political class that’s liberal, including the overwhelming majority of Republican officeholders. Like Chicago, the Democrats (“Democratic-Farm-Labor” in Minnesota), control Minneapolis and St.Paul – from about the 1970s up.

    Before that political death grip, the cities were pretty nice places for people to live and work. Now they’re well into urban wasteland status with most people only coming in to downtown workplaces, then back out to the burbs again. Otherwise it’s pretty much hell-inna-handbag time for the cities.

  14. #14
    On July 17th, 2010 at 3:15 am, purplepeep said:

    SpeakEasy said:

    This is a serious case of fraud. If convicted, this man is facing a stiff sentence.

    Drat! If it weren’t so late I’d have thought of that first, heh.

  15. #15
    On July 17th, 2010 at 4:25 am, tonyr951 said:

    Tax payers get stiffed again

  16. #16
    On July 17th, 2010 at 4:45 am, AlohaGuy said:

    Illegal Alien Gets Taxpayer Funded Penis Pump

    Janet Reno Napolitano had the balls to tell Greta on Fox the other day that the Feds are enforcing the border. You’re right, we’re all getting screwed.

  17. #17
    On July 17th, 2010 at 4:46 am, AlohaGuy said:

    It’s not the “Air Barney” is it?

  18. #18
    On July 17th, 2010 at 7:01 am, JConrad999 said:

    From #17:

    Janet Reno Napolitano had the balls

    Hee hee!

  19. #19
    On July 17th, 2010 at 7:15 am, Ragspierre said:

    My question is, “Will this signal the beginning of a period of hyper-inflation?”

  20. #20
    On July 17th, 2010 at 7:44 am, purplepeep said:

    Ragspierre said:

    My question is, “Will this signal the beginning of a period of hyper-inflation?”

    High prices certainly would be hard on illegal immigrants.

    (yes, I hate myself for that)

  21. #21
    On July 17th, 2010 at 8:48 am, Send_Me said:

    So how about that stimulus plan?

  22. #22
    On July 17th, 2010 at 9:03 am, Pasadena Phil said:

    On July 17th, 2010 at 3:13 am, purplepeep said:

    Straight_Talk_Luigi said:
    Because Minnesotans have a self-loathing, self-defeatist

    Scandinavian mentality.

    Actually, it’s the political class that’s liberal, including the overwhelming majority of Republican officeholders.

    Welcome to California. Good luck getting the distinction between corrupt political system and disenfranchised voters to stick though. Too complicated for many people…. until it happens to them…. one state at a time.

  23. #23
    On July 17th, 2010 at 9:16 am, WarEagle82 said:

    This kind of insane abuse will become all too common in the future, assuming any illegal aliens are ever arrested again.

    Perverts and criminals will get all kinds of bizarre treatment while law abiding tax paying citizens will stand in line to get basic medical services. And we’ll be called racists when we complain.

    This is “hope & change” at work!

  24. #24
    On July 17th, 2010 at 9:31 am, TigerLady said:

    “I don’t know how many illegal aliens are getting emergency medical assistance for such a procedure.”

    Color me stupid but when is this procedure an emergency?????

  25. #25
    On July 17th, 2010 at 9:32 am, DougHagin said:

    Thanks for the link Mr. Powers, my first Malkinlanche! YAHOO!

  26. #26
    On July 17th, 2010 at 9:53 am, Hannibal said:

    #26 On July 17th, 2010 at 9:31 am, TigerLady said:

    Color me stupid but when is this procedure an emergency?????

    Come on TigerLady, it is if your mother finally found you a date and she is in the packing lot and the car is running.

  27. #27
    On July 17th, 2010 at 9:54 am, blizzard said:

    Not only do we have wealth redistribution, we also have penis pump redistribution.

    I’m sure this provision is buried deep in ObamaCare somewhere.

    (No pun intended.)

  28. #28
    On July 17th, 2010 at 9:59 am, Hannibal said:

    My goodness, I typed “packing lot”. Might have been a Freudian slip. Need to go back to my therapist. Not good! Not good at all!

  29. #29
    On July 17th, 2010 at 10:00 am, KVal57 said:

    With that inflated ego of his, don’t you think Obama’d do something like this? C’mon, wood he?

  30. #30
    On July 17th, 2010 at 10:00 am, prendad said:

    Well, you can get a sex-change operation in California, now you can get a penile implant in Wisconsin. So, maybe soon men will be able to get a vagina, women can get a penis and they can all screw themselves.

  31. #31
    On July 17th, 2010 at 10:11 am, blizzard said:

    Perhaps this illegal alien was planning to use the penis pump to perform jobs that Americans are just not willing to do.

  32. #32
    On July 17th, 2010 at 10:25 am, plymouthacclaim said:

    On July 17th, 2010 at 10:11 am, blizzard said:

    Why not, we’re already being screwed.

    (Cleaner than the first response that popped into my head.)

  33. #33
    On July 17th, 2010 at 10:27 am, jsmiddleton4 said:

    “I have a 5 cfm vacuum pump”

    Glad I kept reading that whole sentence….

    When I first started nursing in the hospital here in Arizona I worked at the main county hospital. I worked there for several years. We’ve been giving illegal immigrants free health care and some expensive surgical/medical procedures for quite some time folks. Dialysis comes to mind as one of the more expensive on-going treatments I know several illegals are getting on the tax payors dime.

  34. #34
    On July 17th, 2010 at 10:30 am, jsmiddleton4 said:

    “wood he”

    Ha….. :)

    In the current work I do in end of life care not only do we have folks who are illegally in this country IF the family requests visits from family members who live in Mexico a letter can be faxed to a border crossing to let those family members in the US to see their loved one who is dying. There is no regulation once in and no checking on those folks to make sure they go back.

    You can’t imagine how large some of these families and how many folks need passes to enter to see their loved one in their last days.

  35. #35
    On July 17th, 2010 at 10:48 am, spaceycakes said:

    It’s one thing to pump it up, but another to release the air. Does he ‘sqeeeeeeee’ afterwards?

    If so, is that new term for the millenium–a ‘squeef’?

  36. #36
    On July 17th, 2010 at 11:01 am, jrgdds said:

    Illegal Alien Gets Taxpayer Funded Penis Pump

    Yet another way for illegals to keep screwing the system.

  37. #37
    On July 17th, 2010 at 12:05 pm, dominigan said:

    It’s not too late to repossess….

  38. #38
    On July 17th, 2010 at 12:18 pm, BrianNY said:

    Illegal Alien Gets Taxpayer Funded Penis Pump

    Give Liberals an inch and they’ll take a mile, everytime.

  39. #39
    On July 17th, 2010 at 12:38 pm, jhn1 said:

    Simple start.
    Fire whoever authorized the expense.
    Even if he has prostate removal, the medical artifacts to restore the ability to have an erect tissue at his groin don’t have to be the most expensive, most convenient option.
    Sew the prostate up and hand him the insert-able “stick” as he gets out.
    Installation is not the taxpayer’s obligation.

  40. #40
    On July 17th, 2010 at 1:13 pm, SpeakEasy said:

    On July 17th, 2010 at 3:13 am, purplepeep said: Actually, it’s the political class that’s liberal, including the overwhelming majority of Republican officeholders.

    You are not really saying the majority is powerless over a minority are you? If the majority is hard working conservative people they should be able to control the minority if they care enough. And I’m not trying to insult anyone, just pointing out that you have to be involved to make change. FWIW, Scandinavia is pretty liberal itself so maybe there is a connection?

  41. #41
    On July 17th, 2010 at 1:19 pm, jsmiddleton4 said:

    “take a mile”

    That’s quite a pump then.

  42. #42
    On July 17th, 2010 at 3:52 pm, purplepeep said:

    SpeakEasy said:

    On July 17th, 2010 at 3:13 am, purplepeep said: Actually, it’s the political class that’s liberal, including the overwhelming majority of Republican officeholders.

    You are not really saying the majority is powerless over a minority are you?

    You obviously haven’t heard of “Obamacare”, SpeakEasy. Though all data shows only 20% of the American populace to be liberal, I suspect you might be able cite maybe one or two US Federal laws with which you are are not enamored.

    FWIW, Scandinavia is pretty liberal itself so maybe there is a connection?

    Depends on which Scandinavians you’re speaking of – I think the only causal connection you could make is good values not being installed in younger generations.

    But that problem is universal, not heritage-ethnic bound. To posit otherwise is dipping into a dangerous ” blacks are born to dance, Germans are born to work with cars” type of thinking.

  43. #43
    On July 17th, 2010 at 4:05 pm, jsmiddleton4 said:

    Germans are born?

  44. #44
    On July 17th, 2010 at 5:06 pm, purplepeep said:

    jsmiddleton4 said:

    Germans are born?

    They have to be – they’re ordered to. ;)

  45. #45
    On July 17th, 2010 at 5:12 pm, jsmiddleton4 said:

    Sie sind geboren.

  46. #46
    On July 17th, 2010 at 5:16 pm, jsmiddleton4 said:

    Ihnen wird befohlen geboren zu sein.

  47. #47
    On July 17th, 2010 at 5:33 pm, purplepeep said:

    jsmiddleton4 said:

    Ihnen wird befohlen geboren zu sein.

    Ja, sie sind nur Befehle befolgt :)

  48. #48
    On July 17th, 2010 at 8:07 pm, rightwingrocker said:

    Illegal Alien Gets Taxpayer Funded Penis Pump

    Well you know these people are not known to be particularly well-hung …

    Even though you’d think when they are doing takes a lot of balls!

    HAHA

    RWR
    http://www.rightwingrocker.com

  49. #49
    On July 17th, 2010 at 8:39 pm, Rogue Cheddar said:

    (spoken together)
    Obama (Hanz): We’re here to pump (clap!) you up!
    Biden (Franz): We’re here to pump (clap!) you up!

  50. #50
    On July 17th, 2010 at 8:41 pm, Rogue Cheddar said:

    Rumor control: It is not true that once the illegal got his penis pumped that he immediately went to see Esta!

  51. #51
    On July 18th, 2010 at 2:28 pm, jsmiddleton4 said:
  52. #52
    On July 18th, 2010 at 3:22 pm, Leatherneck said:

    Well, the illegal alien POS is just getting it ready for the CFR to suck it.

  53. #53
    On July 18th, 2010 at 10:50 pm, ruffages said:

    *head hanging shamefully*
    THIS is my town. My only hope is that (given that this IS a VERY conservative town…while the state went Obama, this district went McCain) someone’s head rolls, preferably the person responsible for signing off on it.

    I can absolutely guarantee it was NOT John Kline, Mike Beard (State Rep) or Claire Robling (State Senator)who signed off on this.

    And Shakopee, while being teeming with illegal immigrants, is NOT a sanctuary city. Minneapolis/St Paul/Worthington are the only sanctuary cities in MN.

  54. #54
    On July 19th, 2010 at 1:38 pm, purplepeep said:

    And Shakopee, while being teeming with illegal immigrants, is NOT a sanctuary city. Minneapolis/St Paul/Worthington are the only sanctuary cities in MN.
    ruffages said:

    The problem is that the “sanctuary cities” draw the illegals in – from there they move into the surrounding burbs and other nearby towns & cities.

  55. #55
    On July 20th, 2010 at 6:38 am, Ignatius Reilly said:

    On July 17th, 2010 at 3:15 am, purplepeep said at #15

    Yep…any purple-headed peeper should have been all over this.

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