Chevy Volt Slogan-Mania
**Written by Doug Powers
The Chevy Volt, the $41,000 before-tax-credit, four-seat car that you might as well buy because you’re paying for it anyway, goes 40 miles on a charge before the engine that requires premium gasoline kicks in and will probably cost its buyers more than a few friendships because the “dude, can I bum your electrical outlet for a few hours so I can get back home?” thing will get old fast, is officially on the market.
This means that the search for the perfect Chevy Volt slogan is on. My current favorite is from Twitterer Gunservatively: “I could have had a V8.” John Hawkins suggests: “You’re rich, you love trees, you want your friends to know.”
Other slogans from the Twitterlanche of suggestions are here.
I’ll throw a couple on the pile just for Saturday fun, and feel free to add your own:
–Volt: Because “Coal” didn’t test well in the greenie demo
–The ultimate plugging machine
–This isn’t your father’s bailout
Yesterday, President Obama demonstrated just about how far the Volt can go on a single charge:
Meanwhile, John “I was against paying Mass. yacht taxes before I was for them” Kerry is on a quest to make electric and hybrid cars noisier. I tell ya, there’s no pleasing some people.
**Written by Doug Powers
Twitter @ThePowersThatBe
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Categories: Automakers,Barack Obama,Enviro-nitwits
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GM is claiming 40 miles on 8.9 kWh. So 4.5 miles per kWh. What do you pay per kWh? I assume it’s somewhere between $0.05 and $0.20. That means it would cost $0.225 to $0.80 per mile.
Let’s compare that to a gallon of gasoline if a car gets 20 miles per gallon. At $2.50 per gallon that’s $0.125 per mile. At $4.00 that’s $0.20 per mile.
Can someone check my math?
The Chevy Volt. You’ll finally have time to smell the roses.
*The Chevy Volt; Discriminating drivers like jsmiddleton4 will buy one; You should too!
Declare yourself as serf of the road. One Volt is all you need to supercharge your life from ordinary (cue high-octane contemporary jazz music) to self-aggrandizingly ordinary!
I love this…thing!
–Cart and Pedaler Magazine
I drove almost a whole car length with it right after it was built, and boy, that puppy is smooth!
–President and CEO Barack Obama
The best part is that my Petrobas profits will remain unaffected!
–George S.
✩✩✩✩✩!
–Zombie Karl M.
Fire doesn’t melt steel, so I’m amazed at how this was even built!
–Rosie M.
Features:
–Non-toxic environment safely fits up to four undocumenteds in trunk and an additional three in concealed panel under floor (gallon jugholders come standard in all vehicles)
–Free AmericaLeft satellite radio for one year*
–Free…um…GPS for 2-1/2 years (limited time offer)
–State-of-the-art electronic BCID (Bitter Clinger Identification) technology immediately recognizes dissension and ridicule; offensive mechanism automatically targets perps, taps them with bumper, triggers flip-out race card, and whines incessantly about Fox News
–Arugula-crisper/cooler compartment
Chevy Volt–the most efficient vehicle running in government today.
*choice in programming optional for an additional fee; certain conditions apply; for details, e-mail us at flag*at*whitehouse*dot*gov
*Nothing depreciates more quickly in value than a new vehicle; Average folks will not get anywhere near a Volt.
*I only buy used; Let the suckers take the big hit; I live debt free; My primary vehicle has over 400K on it, and still looks and runs great; My wife, not so much!
There are some calculations here that show at 12 cents/kw it will cost $1.50 to go 40 miles, vs. about $3.30 on a 30 MPG car with gas at about $2.50 gallon:
http://www.chevrolet.com/pages/open/default/future/volt.do?seo=msn_|_2009_Chevy_Awareness_|_IMG_Chevy_Volt_Phase_2_Branded_|_Chevy_Volt_|_chevy_volt
Someone asked about the batteries. Don’t know how long they will last but the warranty is 8 years or 100,000 miles.
Corkie #101 – divide cents per kWh by miles per kWh to get cost per mile. At 9 cents per kWh you’ll get a per-mile cost of 2 cents. Then again, Obama promises the cost of electricity will “necessarily sky rocket” once he destroys coal power, so it may well run 6 to 10+ cents per mile in the future. Anyway you do the math, the upfront price penalty can’t be justified.
Rosie “M.”? I question the timing.
Chevy
VoltJolt… sticker shock redefined.I bet the cost of gas will also “necessarily sky rocket.”
Chevy Volt … Got squirrel?
Yes, thanks! I was on the phone when I typed that and couldn’t concentrate.
So even $0.20 / kWh equates to $0.045 cents per mile. So even if gasoline was $4 per gallon, you’d have to drive it on battery for 130,000 miles in order to break even with a 20,000 car that gets 20 mpg. This car is clearly priced for showy liberals.
Actually, that might another weapon to defeat Cap&Tax. Claim that it will hurt all the Volt owners!
I just can’t understand how liberals think this car is green. What standard could they be using? Are they all that stupid in science? They also can’t back away from it now because they’ve been crying and wailing for this too long.
Also, factor in the cost of the vehicle being $20,000 more than a comparable vehicles. That’s an added cost over 5 cents for 100,000 miles.
Wow. I drive a 2005 Pontiac Vibe GT (it’s really a Toyota Matrix, just better looking) with a 1.8 litre engine that produces 180 hp. That’s 100 hp per litre. It accelerates from rest to 60 mph in under 7 seconds and can achieve 35 mph at nominal highway speeds. It is roomy and very comfortable, and based on the cost per mile averages posted above is much more efficient than the Volt whilst sucking the headlights out of that car in a drag race.
Will a dolt
In a Volt
Cause the citizens
To revolt?
I did factor that in. The $20,000 price difference divided by a $0.155 per mile savings equals 129,032 miles that need to be driven on battery to make up a $20,000 price difference (and that assumes a zero-time-value of money).
But to be 100% conservative, I should use a $0.19 per mile savings (since electricity is $0.05/kWh in a few places in the US – which equates to $0.01 per mile to power the Volt). This implies driving the Volt 105,000 miles on battery in order to break even on the extra $20,000 price tag.
After the credit the Volt is $33,500.
Take $20,000 from that and it leaves $13,500. I don’t believe you can get an equivalent new car for $13,500.
If it only comes down to cost get a 10 year old Ford Focus. Buying a car is seldom, if ever, only about the cost.
“Shockingly Arrogant”
“What a crock!” – think Bob Seger “Like a rock” campaign
“Even gayer than a Prius. . ”
“Volt: Your estrogren levels will necessarily skyrocket.”
“Remember the Jetson’s flying car that turns into a suitcase? We are almost there. A little bit closer on the suitcase part…”
“Great for driving to church on Sunday morning. . .Just kidding!”
Bob,
Why did you comment on a new car? I was discussing the added $20,000 expense over a comparable 20,000 car.
I would argue that the $7,500 is actually more like, $4,225. First there is 7% (in my state) sales tax on the additional $20,000. If this $7,500 works like Cash for Clunkers and Cash for Appliances that was consdiered income by the IRS and thus taxable.
So lets make it an even $5,000 discount. That means if the car is driven 100,000 miles and you factor in an addtional expense of $15,000 over that distance that’s an additional cost per mile that you need to add to any fuel/energy costs.
While not yet discussed, I believe is the efficiency of the car in col weather. Based on the technology used in the battery, some battteries are not nearly as efficient in cold weather. So that makes the 40 miles even less.
I also read two years ago that if 40% of the cars in CA were electic, it would overwhelm te electrical grid when they wwere all plugged in.
And what will the additional power plants run on? Guess?
The Chevy Volt. Its what people who take the blue pill drive.
The Volt owner will suffer from both Sticker and Electric Shock!
Barrack Obama, “Michelle and I are saving for a down payment on the 2011 Volt. It will have the government mandated option of no floor boards for even better mileage. Just like the Flintstones. Can you believe Fred and Barney had advanced Egyptian technology back then?”
Chevy Dolt. Obama dunce hood ornament included.
Sorry, I didn’t read everything that was said up to that point…but I figured a comparable car to a new Volt would be a new car.
I’m not rushing out to buy one, but it’s not hard to see the knee-jerk reaction that says it’s bad because of politics.
I retired from a nuclear power plant 10 years ago….the power could easily be provided for the Volt by more nuclear plants…..but it won’t be.
As far as the grid and 40% of cars being plug-in electrics creating a problem, I’m thinking it will be a loooog time before that happens.
Every one of these “alternate energy” cars I see looks like a pregnant roller skate. A close encounter with a full-sized pickup would make a grease spot out of the biggest of them. They remind me of a limerick we used to sing during frat parties when I was in college. It had to do with a young man from Boston, who bought himself a new Austin…
Chevy Volt: Lightning Rod on Wheels …
Chevy Volt: Energizer Bunny Extra …
Chevy Volt, the car for Obowma useful idiots.
The Chevy Volt *could* be green but won’t be simply because at $40,000 there won’t be enough made and sold to make a dent in polluted city air.
We can hope that GM will be able to get the cost of this type of vehicle down to where more people will be able to afford one for their go-to-work/shopping/kids-to-school car.
And I think some people might feel differently about the Volt if they ever experienced a drive home from work in the Snow Belt around say November when you have 8 expressway lanes worth of bumper-to-bumper traffic all spewing half-burnt gasoline fumes from their tailpipes.
Bob,
Agree totally. If the technology was there and the grid was there, would I be interested. Sure.
My area is powered by a nuclear plant. Thirty years old and VERY reliable. In its first 15 years it had its outages, but now it’s availability rate is most impressive.
If there is money to be made the industry will create an affordable, cheaper, reliable, efficient, electric vehicle. Electric cars are not a bad thing. I just think the technology is not there yet. Jet propulsion was available in the 1930′s, but it was not refined enough to work in an airplane.
Government imposing a solutiuon is just lunacy. This is a matter of science and economics, not dogma and faith.
The Volt was developed without any government imposing. The Leaf certainly isn’t a government imposed solution. Those companies believed a market would exist for their electric cars.
The Chevy Volt. It makes speed bumps obsolete.
The Chevy Volt. It chafes at any speed.
The Chevy Volt. Its what’s at the other end of the rainbow.
The Chevy Volt. The car that put an end to David Letterman’s top 10 lists.
Hey middleton4, Ripley’s is looking for you. They think your 37 posts have broken the record for the most consecutive flopped one-liners. You crushed the previous record held by Andrew Dice Clay from 1987 by 13.
“flopped one-liners.”
Ouch.
The Chevy Volt. Its top is made out of bottoms and bottoms is made out of springs.
I’m obviously more nuanced than you hannibal….
More one liners? I thought only liberals kept talking when they had nothing to say.
“More one liners?”
You bet. That’s the point of this thread.
Chevy Volt Slogan-Mania
Reading comprehension problem there Bob?
Not at all, I have comprehended everything you have written and concluded perhaps you have had too much coffee.
That’s OK, it happens to most of us.
“had too much coffee.”
Still trying to figure out what part of mania you don’t seem to grasp Bob…..
*I’ve enjoyed the jsmiddleton4 mania rant; He is the Avis of blog commentors!
*Come to think of it, his overall posts on this site may very well be greater than overall sales of the Volt in 2011!
The Chevy Volt. More slogans than sales.
*The Chevy Volt; Like being permanently rear-ended by the Oscar Myer Weinermobile with P-BO at the wheel.
*The Chevy Volt: A Cluster **** for 4 on wheels.
*The Chevy Volt: When you absolutely, positively don’t care if you get there.
The Chevy Volt. The car for the less creative special people.
*The Chevy Volt: For the new, low, low price of $40,999.99!
The Chevy Volt: For the disriminating buyer that desires to live in an alternative universe.
The Chevy Volt. It redefines bipolar.
*The Chevy Volt: Multitasking made easy; Walk your dog AND sweep the sidewalk on your trip around the block.
*The Chevy Volt: Retired UAW pensioners will buy one, you should too.
*The Chevy Volt: Park one in your Trailerhood.
*The Chevy Volt: Have you driven a toaster lately?
The Chevy Volt. The car that could have saved Thelma and Louise.
a toaster lately…
LOL…….
The Chevy Volt: We like to call it the Vegan Vega.
The Chevy Volt: The cure for the common whiplash.
The Chevy Volt: Speeding tickets not optional or extra; Just not ever.
The Chevy Volt: Don’t pimp this ride, it’s already a slut.
The Chevy Volt: The new stealth bomber; Disclaimer: Stealth and er optional, extra.
The Chevy Volt. Even Bob can’t think of a slogan.
*FORD: Fix Or Repair Daily!
*Fiat: Fix It Again Tony!
*Volt: Vote Out Lame Totalitarians!
The Chevy Volt. It doesn’t drip on your driveway, it discharges.
The Chevy Volt. The reason you can’t take your friends to the airport.
After your morning Jolt, what could be better than a Chevy Volt?
The Vote is Watt we need to Amp-lify our energy supply.
The Volt….how will it look with 26 inch wheels?
The Volt is Obama’s choice for a safe and comfortable 3 foot trip.
If your battery is low, your Volt will still let you pass..with gas.
It you can afford a Volt you don’t need to worry about the price of gas.
Coming soon, the huge new SUV Volt called the 12 Volt.
Do not drive your Volt through standing water, your trip my be cut short.
The Volt, enough power to drive multiple adult toys and still get you home by 4 AM.
Live in Detroit, consider the ultra-powerful Volt taser attachment.
OK, if they don’t have to be good….what the heck!
Very good Bob. Glad to see you join in.
The Chevy Volt. Its why Billie Joe McAllister drove to the Tallahatchie Bridge.
“OK, if they don’t have to be good”
Hey.
It’s better than a golf cart.
They also thought there was a market for New Coke and flouroscopes in shoe stores.
So how many are trying to get that song out of their heads now?
Take that you naysayers…..
The Chevy Volt. One small step for man. One giant heap for mankind.
I thought lefties were into haiku wisdom….
The Chevy Volt: Gets’ you to work during the week, vacuums your carpet on the weekend.
The Chevy Volt: We put the FU in FUV.
The Chevy Volt: Saved or created -100,000 jobs.
The Chevy Volt: Technology from 1911 at your fingertips.
The Chevy Volt: The chicks dig it, but don’t bury the battery.
“haiku wisdom….”
Thanks you just made my brain get all knotted up. It went from slogan mindset to haiku mindset. I’ll be lucky if I keep from wetting myself now.
The Chevy Volt. Its one ohm short of a load.
The Chevy Volt. Resistance is fertile.
Wheels turning slowly
The cord pulls apart
Obama lied
Volt is not
Cliff
Push
Falls
Down
Volt
Gone
The Chevy Volt. Its what happens if you feed a Chevette after midnight.
What a day. I did slogans AND haiku’s in the same day and near as I can tell I’m dry.
The Chevy Volt: It’s like a BMW, just without the W.
The Chevy Volt: Bob Seger:”Like A Sandcastle”.
The Chevy Volt: Onstar not required. You can walk home.
The Chevy Volt: Not suitable for the transporting of illegal aliens.
The Chevy Volt: Champagne wishes and caviar dreams for the mindless.
The Chevy Volt: Even Tiger Woods can’t “wear it out”.
The Chevy Volt: Pull the plug and bust a move.
I’m beginning to wonder if there are people here who actually believe the Volt can only go 40 miles before it MUST be plugged in to recharge to go any further.
Tell me no one thinks that…somebody.
“just without the W.”
Very funny….
“no one thinks that”
I have very little time to actually think about the Chevy Volt. I’m much too busy thinking up slogans.
The Chevy Volt. The seventh blunder of the world.
Powered with redistributive edict-ators, designed by green envy-ators, and financed by ten to the 8th opm’s, the new Government Motors Volt has the potential to be the next AMC Pacer.
You’re a dolt, buy the
Volt!