Meet the New Asian Carp Czar
**Written by Doug Powers
Another job saved but mostly created by the White House:
The White House said today it has chosen John Goss, former director of the Indiana Department of Natural Resources, as its Asian carp czar.
Goss described himself as a fisherman who is very concerned about the possible spread of the voracious fish into the Great Lakes. Goss has also served as executive director of the Indiana Wildlife Federation.
I live in the Great Lakes area and my family boats, fishes and swims on occasion in those waters, but because of the fact the Obama administration appointed Goss and he’s described as an “environmental activist” in most articles, I have a fishy suspicion this will only culminate in even more regulation of the private sector and the formation of the IBAC (International Brotherhood of Asian Carp).
And hey, who’s up for the uber-competent White House being in charge of reversing the flow of rivers?
In a call with reporters, Goss was noncommittal about whether there should be a permanent separation between the Mississippi River and the Great Lakes, reversing the flow of the Chicago River. He said he’s awaiting the outcome of a study by the Army Corps of Engineers, which is looking at whether such a reversal is feasible.
The fine line the Asian Carp Czar must walk is identifying the offending fish without profiling.
**Written by Doug Powers
Twitter @ThePowersThatBe
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Another day, another Czar….how long will it be till we have the Czar of TP to ensure that we Americans are not being wasteful when we wipe?
O/T:
A friend of mine sent me this in an email and thought you would all like it.
Thank goodness – I was afraid Obama was going to concentrate on the econmy. Well, what’s left of it.
Considering the intelligence of Obama appointees, I’m guessing in a battle between the Carp Czar and the Asian Carp, the Asian Carp will win hands down, or fins down as the case may be
This is for live fish right? Rahm is dead carp czar.
Whats next – nominating horse to the Senate and thereafter proclaiming himself a God? We all saw what happened with the WH Carpet Czar, now we have a Carp Czar? A Carp Czar – you have to be freaking kidding me.
Come on, these carp are just doing the jobs American carp won’t do.
Please do not mock his Harvardness, after all, he has children who might be ashamed.
Hey, hey, that stinks of carpophobia there! LOL
Let me think – Carp are bottom feeders, Liberals are bottom feeders – can one hope that all bottom feeders will meet the same fate?
ASIAN carp czar!?!?
Ain’t that “Ethnic Profiling”?
Or “Species Profiling”?
This would explain the mysterious Al Gore visit to a Koi Pond in Southern California. These fish may be funding you know who.
I guess the Dems finally realized that blamming Bush has lost its steam, so now they will blame the Asian Carp.
No, Asian is ok. But Black Sea Bass are now Sea Bass of Color.
So I guess that makes Rainbow Trout the diversity fish to emulate.
Henry Limpet: Doesn’t it kind of give you a thrill of hope, George?
George Stickel: Hope for what, Henry?
Henry Limpet: Well, with the war in Europe and new weapons being invented all the time, why, what if men were actually foolish enough to destroy themselves completely? Then, you see, the fish in the ocean would develop into a new race of men, and, well, this time they might turn out better, you see?
Doug, stop carping about Obama.
Henry Limpet: What if I told you I used to be a human being?
Ladyfish: I don’t care how terrible your past was, Limpet.
It’s number one on the menu at “Man Country.”
Nothing that a bunch “Sea Kittens” can’t cure!
Perch and Catfish are strongly protesting this as well.
Obowmao: I did it for the halibut!
Us peasants are so scrod!
Quick question, wouldn’t these be Asian-American Carp seeing that they are showing up on the US side of the Great Lakes?
Sea Bass of Color; spewing coke! But Asian carp is only ok because it isn’t chinese carp. The asian is general enough like African american or latino american but as you note black american is a no-no.
Hope his duties don’t conflict with the Gar Czar!
At this very momement Sheryl Crowe is waiting by the phone for Obummer’s call to serve.
Community organizing on a national level and appointing more czars to micromanage every aspect of our lives is very time consuming and hard work! All these czars are completely necessary, as actually being a working president is very disruptive to TEH WON’s golf,vacations and speaking engagements.
Asian Carp are illegal immigrants. That means the federal government will only do catch and release. Don’t dare shoot one, there’ll be rioting in the rivers.
It’s all right as long as the Asian carp don’t get behind the wheel of a car, they can’t drive for #$%^!
Oh my Cod, we get a Carp Czar while the economy flounders!
Oh goodie, another czar! How many does this make now? Isn’t this bho running out friends to make czars yet? I hate to think how many there will be at the end of 2012.
L
Come on people I can’t do this all by myself!
After the election in Novemeber I have a feeling we will see a Czar appointing Bonazza…after all his majesty needs to pay back all the votes on health care somehow.
Florida hopes there will be a Python Czar very soon.
I’m sure the Asian Carp Czar went to only the best schools!
I am surprised the Bill Clinton has not asked for Monica to be named the Blowfish Czar yet.
I’m spent.
Not now, dear, I have a haddock.
Bullwinkle: What’s that, Rocky? A fin letter from some flounder?
Oh come on RC, I’m sure you have one more in you just for the Halibut.
Hopefully the Carp Czar will not Flounder.
The first edict from the new Carp Czar will be to rule that Sarahcuda is dangerous to the Asian Carp.
Apparantly you don’t need to be a brain sturgeon to be a carp czar.
So that’s why Obowmao’s been acting koi these past few days!
Lobster Rocks! (Or it is Rock Lobster?)
This administration keeps getting more and more crappie.
Next week he’ll appoint a Sturgeon General.
Via Shirley Temple lyrics:
When asked by reporters about reports that Republicans were arguing that an Asian Carp Czar was uneccessary Obama said that the argument was just a red herring.
Truesoldier:
Re. post # 2 — I like your friend’s “Kick Uncle Sam in the Can!” poem…
On another note, I have heard that the new Asian Carp Czar has a lot of sole.
I had three or four good ones in a roe, I’m not Aquaman for crying out loud!
Obowmao’s trying to krill the economy on porpoise!
And the Obami are supposed to respect science…
Rogue Cheddar
Just as long as the Czar doesn’t post any pornography on the net for immoral porpoises!
his sole is in the right place.
On September 9th, 2010 at 2:05 pm, Lindsay said:
Florida hopes there will be a Python Czar very soon.
gimme an e-”fin” break!
Is PETA aware of this?
No the Carp Czar only surfs prawnography!
I don’t know if I can take more of these barbs.
it’s just another way to say fugu to the people!
Obama’s an ass aholehole…
Mullet over before you make a missed-hake!
With friends like him, who needs anemones?
Well that is pretty shellfish of him.
Filet of Sole, Filet of Sole – come on lets rock and roll
It’s only fish so they don’t give a Tang.
Don’t be a crab, Spacey! Or, we’ll clam up.
We should just wait and see if this cloud has a silver bright lining…
This smelt funny right from the start! This Carp Czar is just another red herring to take our minds off the economy! Blow it out your wahoo Obowmao!
Q. What’s the difference between an Asian carp and a politician from Illinois?
A. One of them is a slimy bottom feeder and the other one is a fish!
Of course if the Asian Carp are ever given voting rights they will have to be sure that their ballots don’t have any hanging shads
what do you expect from a smallfry prez?
Maybe if the Asian Carp just say they are saury everyone could just get along.
…except a crappie job?
Rumor has it that the WH is scheduling a Tuna Fish Promenade for their next extravaganza.
But, but, they’re sea kittens!
will the new czar sing
coho
coho
it’s off to work I go
The POTUS promises another tarpon bill to clam up his critics.
Eel probably be a real drag. I’m not giving him any slack.
Fearless leader was overheard saying that its either ‘The Anemone Way’ or the highway.
more like tarpon monoxide, nail49!
(h/t Curly/3 Stooges)
Alright I’ve got to stop, I’m feeling slimy. In the grand scale of things, this is a minnow, so we as a grouper, should not batter too much.
He already is making anemones of all of us!
But sometimes I just can’t kelp it!
My favorite philosopher!
I’m just gonna perch here and mullet over how I want to kick Obummers bass right trout of the Whitehouse! He’s just full of crappie!
With a Breaming smile, Obama is Musseling in on our private lives and stealing our hard earned Clams right from our wallets.
I’ve haddock up to the gills with this President!
Thers something Musky going on in Washington.
The administration is just trying to chum up a situation to try to distract us from the economy.
It is a Albacore wrapped in a Salmon inside A Bonefish. Mystery solved.
I hear Asian Carp love kudzu. Maybe if Obama called a summit between his Asian Carp Tsar and his Kudzu Czar we might have a solution to both problems.
How about a rowsing chorus of “Lobster Flounder” from the Boston contingent?
Here are the lyrics:
Maestro, my key please?
What did we need an Asian Crap Czar for???
The same reason we needed all the other Crap (sic) Czars — bho couldn’t get them through the Senate and they certainly don’t pass the smell test with the unwashed masses!
A B, C D goldfish?
M R no goldfish.
S M R goldfish, A B.
Don’t Asian carp do better in schools than American carp?