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Galactic Appeasement: UN to Appoint First Ambassador to Space Aliens

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By Doug Powers  •  September 26, 2010 10:56 AM

**Written by Doug Powers

There’s no better way to ensure that visitors from an advanced civilization elsewhere in the universe want to vaporize the Earth immediately than by making them sit through a United Nations meeting as soon as they get here.

To that end, the United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs will choose a point-bureaucrat as the visitors’ first-contact/sacrificial alien rectal probee:

If aliens ever land on Earth there will no longer be any confusion over who will greet them with the news the United Nations is set to appoint an astrophysicist to be their first human contact.

Mazlan Othman is expected to be tasked with coordinating humanity’s response to an extraterrestrial visit, if ever required.

The 58-year-old Malaysian will tell a conference next week that with the recent discovery of hundreds of planets orbiting around other stars, the detection of alien life is becoming more and more likely.

‘The continued search for extraterrestrial communication, by several entities, sustains the hope that some day human kind will received signals from extraterrestrials,’ she said.

‘When we do, we should have in place a coordinated response that takes into account all the sensitivities related to the subject.

‘The UN is a ready-made mechanism for such coordination.’

Better choices would have been Ban Ki-moon and Jimmy Carter. And why wait for aliens to come here? Just strap on their blue safety helmets and blast ‘em off for a Milky Way outreach tour.

Chances are that beings with the technology to travel millions of light years will be the ones choosing who they talk to first, not the U.N.

(h/t Brenda Elliott)

**Written by Doug Powers

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