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Prince Charles Loses His Last Marble

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By Doug Powers  •  October 9, 2010 01:57 PM

**Written by Doug Powers

The man whose polo ponies’ farts are responsible for more carbon emissions in a week than your car gives off in an entire year is lecturing everybody about global warming again — and his descent into eco-madness is accelerating.

Prince Charles is proof-positive that, if you’re not careful, having it so good for so long can apply a healthy amount of grease to your grip on reality:

BRITAIN’S Prince Charles has cited the Mumbai shantytown setting for the film “Slumdog Millionaire” as a role model for sustainable living in Western cities, a report said Saturday.

The 61-year-old heir to the British throne writes in a new book being published next week that the Dharavi slum is better and more instinctively organised than many Western towns, London’s Daily Telegraph said.

In the book, called Harmony, Prince Charles contrasts the “fragmented, deconstructed” housing estates of Western nations with the “order and harmony” of the dusty potters’ colony featured in the Oscar-winning movie.

“We have a great deal to learn about how complex systems can self-organise to create a harmonious whole,” he said.

Charles first mentioned that Mumbai’s shanty towns should serve as a model for the world in 2009, but this is the first time he’s put his silent cry for anti-psychotic meds in book form.

Naturally, not wanting to be a hypocrite, Charles plans to immediately move out of Clarence House and pick up a one-bedroom fixer-upper in this eco-friendly, carbon neutral Mumbai neighborhood:

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I’m sure Leo DiCaprio and Al Gore will be moving in soon as well.

It’s said that Clarence House (one of Charles’ homes) is approximately 40,000 square feet — which is just under an acre of space. In Mumbai’s Dharavi slum, the model of eco-efficiency according to Charles, up to 18,000 people are crammed into an acre. To make Clarence House match his model for environmental nirvana, Charles will have to get rid of all the toilets, sanitation and running water and invite over 17,998 people.

Over the summer, Charles began trying to ease people into the eco-friendly, carbon neutral nirvana of slum life. He’s starting slowly by convincing folks to forego the bath and take showers — short showers:

Prince Charles has told British families to take shorter showers to help protect the environment.

The instruction came at the end of a list of 20 lifestyle changes recommended by the Prince of Wales for his new green campaign, Start.
[...]
Last year Charles, cut carbon emissions by 4 per cent at his four households and increased the use of renewable energy to 22 per cent.

Four percent at four homes? Whoa! Prince Charles’ argument is now “I’ve got a total of 22 bathrooms, 21 of which I’m never showering in on any given day — that’s a 99.1 percent cutback in maximum possible usage. I hope you can give something back like I am!”

One thing’s for sure: Charles could save the environment a Prince-induced carbon atrocity if he’d only sell his jet(s), homes, cars and go live a sustainable life in the place he’s using as a model for everybody else in the world — everybody with the exception of princes and other select bloated hypocrites.

(h/t WZ)

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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