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Baltimore Food Police Write First Ticket

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By Doug Powers  •  October 27, 2010 10:03 AM

**Written by Doug Powers

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Conversation coming soon to a prison cell near you:

“What are you in for?”

“Grand theft auto. You?”

“Butter.”

BALTIMORE — The Baltimore City Health Department issued its first environmental citation for repeat violations of the city’s trans fat ban.

The Health Department issued Healthy Choice, a food facility in the 400 block of Lexington Street, a $100 fine on Thursday.

“It was the second time they were found with a high trans fat level in their ingredients,” said Health Department agent Juan Gutierrez.

Officials said that during inspections in July and this month, the facility was found to be using a margarine product with trans fat levels in excess of what the law allows.

A source tells me the Health Department stormtroopers are referring to this particular type of crime as “a salt & fattery.”

Baltimore’s “Commissioner of Health” (you can’t make this stuff up), Dr. Oxiris Barbot (you certainly can’t make that up), is quoted as saying this (accent added by me for more appropriate Eastern Bloc effect): “Vile vee are pleased vis zee high rates of compliance veev seen since zee ban tuke effekt, vee vill continue to sankshun beeznesses zaht repeatedly fail to komply.”

Join me in standing up to these people and yelling at the top of our lungs, “From my cold, dead frying pan!”

**Written by Doug Powers

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