Whew! FLOTUS Approves Thanksgiving Pie
**Written by Doug Powers
For those of you who were waiting for the official go-ahead, I’ve got some very good news:

What a relief! No tree bark and lawn clippings for dessert this year! I haven’t felt this liberated since Tipper Gore gave a very reluctant nod to **playing Alice Cooper albums (**on Halloween only).
Should we now await approval to consume deep fried turkey and beer? I plan to just do it and beg for forgiveness later.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
(h/t Weasel Zippers)
**Written by Doug Powers
Twitter @ThePowersThatBe
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we are having chocolate cream pie, cheese cake, apple crisp, pumpkin pie along with turkey and ham, vegetables not listed here. Screw the FLOTUS.
Happy Thanksgiving, lord we have a lot to be thankful for.
Holy BEEPing BEEP-crackers, she actually believes we care what she thinks.
We should be able to approve of her menu. Is she eating too much salt, sugar and fat???
I’ll let her know what she can bite.
I make a two pecan pies for my Hawaiian inlaws who love it.
I make a mincemeat pie for myself. Takes me a week to kill it all, but I’m the only one that will eat it. They all shake their heads at me when I eat mincemeat, but they all eat raw fish. I don’t get it.
My family has been cooking their fish for, I dunno, 12 to 14 thousand years, according to the History Channel.
Everyone have a nice Thanksgiving. We’re having our dinner at the beach.
More shockingly, Fox News thinks we care what she says.
Yum. I’m in the same “boat” and gladly finish it myself.
Blessed Thanksgiving to all.
How dare she?!?! Who died and made her God? The *@^%!#& twit.
Hey, Ms. Bitterman! I’ve OK’d the passage of the FairTax. Have your testically-challenged life partner get right on that.
I hope that approval extends to the “Bacon Explosion” appitizer.
Don’t get between me and my home made bacon….
Oh, most holy and sacred FLOTUS, thank you for humbly granting us this generous dispensation. After Thanksgiving, I will duly fast to return to your recommended body mass index, and next spring, I’ll be sure to track the growth of your rutabagas and other delicious garden vegetables with those of my own. I promise.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Not to be out done, Barry said:
Umm, let them, uh, eat, um, er, cake.
If this “approval” does not remind us of how badly the liberals want to control every facet of our lives – nothing will. This is the very reason I do NOT use CFL’s.
But, but,..but, what about the children???
I’m not going to take nutritional advice from someone with a fat ass.
First Squeeze Thunderbutt will be consuming 6 pies, according to last reports from the wh. They’ll have to station armed guards to prevent her guests from taking any. “It’s mine, all mine.”
I sure worried about not being able to have a piece of pie. My God, Michelle Obama is a real humanitarian. Happy Thanksgiving everybody and remember only one piece of pie.
And the response of American Citizens?
“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be used against you in the next election and every court proceeding as we remove your husband and all of his tyrants from power.”
Those folks from Chicago are something else! See how they try to insert themselves into every aspect of our lives?
I choose Freedom, I ignore would be dictators.
I can see November 2012 from here.
Let them eat….er..pie.
Racist!! I’m actually in a conundrum. I have made it a point to do the exact opposite of what the royal fam-damly says. Now what?
I’ve become quite the connoisseur of the bird fried in peanut oil – with a top secret mixture of spices. (I could tell you – but I’d have to kill you)
This year one bird won’t do it so we have to put one in the oven as well. Finally the difinitive side by side analysis! My money is on the fryer.
Happy T-Day all! Among all else thank God the collective is spiraling in!
I really, really didn’t care for BDS; MDS doesn’t look all that much better. Yes, there’s plenty to criticize, but this is really petty. Arguably Fox News, whom I usually like, unfairly headlined what happened, and running with it is juvenile. Sorry, Doug, I normally greatly enjoy your contributions to this blog.
Frankly, I don’t give one flying flit what mo says I can or can not eat! Those two in the wh now thinks they can dictate every aspect of our lives! NO, you can’t, American’s don’t like to be told what they can or can not do!
Have a great Thanksgiving, Doug and family. Eat gobs and don’t feel guilty about it.
L
Yup. Try living there, they are a real hoot.
How good of her-so kind and patient with we mere supplicants.
And when I fill that plate with turkey, mashed potatoes, rutabagas, bacon cooked green beans, at least one tamale-maybe two, rolls smothered in REAL butter and such-gravy, lots of gravy, I will ask for the salt shaker thank you. I shall also have a nice helping of cancer causing cranberry relish, apple pie made with REAL lard and apples from alar sprayed trees thank you.
To thank and relieve the cooks the men of the family (not me-too old
) will do the dishes-except the sterling- and then retire to the ozone killing, global warming wide screen to watch football and have pies of every race creed, religion and flavor. Hopefully there will be a tamale or two left-they go fast.
For you see Dear FLOTUS this is America where too much is not enough.
Have a great Thanksgiving Doug and may the Farce Be With You.
I knew I was in trouble in that rented Escort and got on the
Dan Ryan ExcessiveSpeedway:
SPEED LIMIT
MACH 2
Well, we are going to have pumpkin pie AND apple cobbler, so FLOTUS be…Oh, its Thanksgiving, so I had better be nice. Happy Thanksgiving, Mrs. Obama!
Our poor little FLOTUS, still searching for a life.
I’ll have an extra piece of pecan.
I like pie.
One word. Cake.
Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes…gravy on all of that. Salads…cranberry and my special lime conconction. Wild rice, sweet potatoes, baked corn, banana bread, assorted relishes (the kids like to put the black olives on their fingers…doesn’t everyone?). Apple cider, wine, soft drinks. Pumpkin pie, pecan pie, french silk pie.
We have 32 people coming together today. What a blessing to have so many family members living that close so we can gather today!! Only a few are missing. One family lives in Denver, one person is in Iraq, one is in rehab (meth), one is recovering from a serious car accident.
We are just your normal, average American family thanking God that we live in this amazing, FREE country where NO ONE can tell us WHAT to eat or WHEN to eat it!!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! My true Patriot friends!
Ms. Obama will be having ice cream…again!
Since my family gathering is a small one (just four of us), I’m bringing 1/2 a pumpkin pie and 1/2 a cherry pie (the local supermarkets sell 1/2 pies as well as whole ones).
Why do I suspect that FLOTUS and her husband are giving thanks for very different things from the rest of the country?
Well! I shall truly enjoy my Thanksgiving dinner; a turkey basted with a pound of bacon and a pound of butter, mashed potatoes the French way with one pound of potatoes to a pound of butter, chocolate, pecan, mincemeat and pumpkin pies, champagne, other wine and all enjoyed under the glow of incandescent bulbs. Happy Turkey Day, everyone.
Thanks to her Royal Thighness, I will have no regrets eating Pie today. What’s the verdict on Marlboros, mum?
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Pie? Lemme see. I had a piece of homemade pumpkin, coconut cream, peanut butter and carmel cheese.
Thanks Michelle. I ate a lot because you never know about next year.
*URP*
I think I just made room for more. Be right back…
Easy there partner. That’s +/- 6000 Carbon Credits. *URP* Never mind.
One more piece of pumpkin pie ala mode. No, really. Last one. Unless…
Carbon credits? In that case, I am gunna let ‘er rip. I want my CC account to look like I just pulled the arm on a one-armed bandit and the wheels are turning too fast to see.
Pull my finger!
AHHH, more room for pie.
The things I do for MO.
Easy there Soap, methane is twice the cost of CO2. Are you sure you want to swing for the “Pull my finger” so close to the Holidays?
JD,
You bet. I want my meter running so fast it would impress ManBearPig. I am thankful I do not have to pay a carbon tax (yet) and there are no butt meters to measure methane expulsion (yet).
So, my friend, pull away!
*Sound of “Happy Holidays” playing in the background*
Er, um, yeah, maybe later, okay?
Thank you very much Michell. And in thanks for your magnanimity we give you the OK to wear grandma’s curtains to your next public event.
Aw jeez, I can’t @#$%^& move! I feel like the Anaconda that snuck in and ate the family pig. I gotta go curl up and digest this for a month. I don’t know if it’s the tryptophan or not, but, I’m getting a little sle….zzzzzz
THAT. SOUNDS. AWE. SOME.
I feel your pain Rogue. Slept like a baby until…what’s that? A voice…from the kitchen me thinks. Yup, that dang pie’s callin’ me back. Just one more piece, it sez.
It’s evil I tell ya.
AAAAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
Pie for breakfast! Thanks again big MO!
I love Black Friday. There’s nobody here to guard the leftovers.
Thanks for the heads up DOUG!!! I have been woried all night about the FLOTUS thoughts on my diet for the holiday meal, as I did not get online yesterday… Now I find out no problem… Again thank you DOUG, and than you, most benevolent FLOTUS!!!
Since yesterday was my birthday, I hope it’s ok with MO that we had chocolate cake instead of pie for our dessert.
It is typical of Her Majesty Obama to express what is okay for the peasants to consume on the holidays. I’m dying to learn if we’ll be limited to figgy-pudding for Christmas, of if she’ll allow plums too.
But seriously, I wish that this smug woman would keep her putrid opinions about what she finds acceptable and unacceptable to herself.
I’m glad someone is watching my caloric intake,because there are some people that just really shouldn’t indulge in that second or third slice of pie. HERE
I’m making chitlin’ pie and serving it up with greens. Madam President ain’t invited.