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US Senator Writes Letter to Santa About Global Warming… No, Seriously

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By Doug Powers  •  December 23, 2010 11:09 PM

**Written by Doug Powers

New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez is still a true believer. This letter appeared in the Huffington Post:

Dear Santa Claus,

I am writing out of concern, because you may have to move from the North Pole due to the dramatic melting of Arctic sea ice. The Navy’s chief oceanographer says that by the summer of 2020 the North Pole may not have summer ice and other scientists project that an ice-free Arctic is possible as soon as 2012!

Scientists overwhelmingly agree that polar ice is melting because of greenhouse gas pollution and I am working hard to reduce these emissions. But there is probably nothing we can do in time to save the North Pole. I am worried about your safety and your ability to deliver billions of Christmas gifts if the ice cap on the North Pole no longer stays frozen all year. What will happen to your house, your workshop, the elves’ houses and your reindeer barns?

The rest is here if you dare. Hasn’t Menendez received the latest memo that another ice age is on the way due to the warming which causes the cold and snow that makes it hotter, creating blizzards? That should be enough to save the North Pole… I think.

Since when does a self-respecting Democrat care about St. Nick, anyway? Santa Claus is a morbidly obese future burden on the health care system who utilizes animal slave labor and vertically-challenged sweatshop workers who are paid well below a living wage in a non-union environment to manufacture and deliver toys that are fraught with small-part choking hazards that may promote violence. Democrats should be more than happy to see Santa forced to move down here where he’ll be more easily regulated and they can confiscate their fair share of the presents.

Just to cover all the bases, because global warming has been found to cause dental problems in children, Menendez also hand-delivered a letter to the Tooth Fairy, who just happened to be in DC attending the signing of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal.

The threat global warming poses to American pikas is also expected to prompt Menendez to write a letter to the Easter Bunny this coming April. Stay tuned.

(h/t Weasel Zippers)

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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