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**Written by Doug Powers

The Republican reading of the US Constitution is today. Hopefully somebody out there is forcing Joy Behar to watch it, Clockwork Orange-style, but that’s probably too much to hope for.

The New York Times refers to the reading (watch here) as a “ritual of self-glorification.” That’s a funny thing to say coming merely a day after the outgoing Speaker talked for longer than the incoming Speaker, not to mention invited camera crews to a street being named in her honor and had Tony Bennett sing to her.

Meanwhile, in a semi-parallel universe where Tea Party dreams come true and the sharp blades of whirring debt ceiling fans clip the fingers of anyone who attempts to push it higher, Jimmy Kimmel offered this alternate ending to yesterday’s passing of the gavel:

Update: Charles Rangel is now reading from the Bill of Rights, but I think he’s taking some liberties: “The right of select members of Congress to keep and bear villas in the Dominican Republic without reporting income from them shall not be infringed.”

Update II: At least we found something that makes the left care about cutting spending: “Constitution reading” could cost taxpayers over $1 million!

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe