Did You Know...

   

Hugo Chavez: Life on Mars May Have Ended Due to… Capitalism

Share
By Doug Powers  •  March 22, 2011 03:53 PM

**Written by Doug Powers

Granted there’s a lot of speculation in Hugo’s statement. To follow this, you must assume the following: A) There was once an intelligent civilization on Mars, and B) They had Starbucks, Baby Gaps, a stock exchange, lots of smokestacks, zero scrubber technology and lived in an alternate reality written and directed by James Cameron.

If you needed any more evidence Chavez needs to quit chewing coca and smoking rolled up pages from Al Gore’s Earth in the Balance, here you go:

CARACAS (Reuters) – Capitalism may be to blame for the lack of life on the planet Mars, Venezuela’s socialist President Hugo Chavez said on Tuesday.

“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.

“Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts,” Chavez said, sipping from a glass of water.

Maybe Hugo should take Sean Penn all the rest of his friends and go to the planet that capitalism failed to establish a Marxist utopia. The journey itself would be worth watching. Have you ever seen how a parrot responds to weightlessness? It’s hilarious.

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

blog comments powered by Disqus

Heir apparent to Al Gore proves he’s totally up to the challenge

March 22, 2015 09:29 AM by Doug Powers

pharrell

“Without Pharrell our planet would not survive.”

Maybe the EPA will fulfill FOIA requests after they’re done trying to regulate your grill emissions

March 13, 2015 12:40 PM by Doug Powers

epa

The spatula cops are sniffing around your BBQ

Guess what might be to blame for the rise of ISIS

March 4, 2015 09:30 PM by Doug Powers

jihadi

Hint: Sounds like “noble swarming” or “climb that range”


Categories: Enviro-nitwits, global warming, Media

Follow me on Twitter Follow me on Facebook