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**Written by Doug Powers

Nancy Pelosi violated a major tenet of comedy, which is “never open with your best joke”:

Washington, D.C. – Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi released the following statement on proposals announced today to reduce the deficit and avoid default:

“It is clear we must enter an era of austerity; to reduce the deficit through shared sacrifice.

Did the biggest spending House speaker in history say that? I feel like a bottle of Stoli just offered to help me jump on the wagon, but I guess it’s a start.

Pelosi was of course referring to the Reid proposal that is said to contain no tax increases, would raise the debt ceiling $2.7 trillion and allegedly cut the same amount in spending, but somewhere around half of those “cuts” would be “money that won’t be spent as a result of winding down the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

If that’s not enough to satisfy Republicans, Reid will propose an additional $150 billion in cuts that will be realized by not going to war against Liechtenstein in 2018.

(h/t Weasel Zippers)

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe