Out: ‘US Government’ — In: ‘Federal Family’

By Doug Powers  •  August 29, 2011 03:44 PM

**Written by Doug Powers

“The good hands people” and “like a good neighbor” were already taken, so it was the next obvious choice:

But before Irene fizzled, the Obama White House wanted to make sure that Irene was no Katrina and that, in fact, the president and his aides would be seen in compassionate command of the situation.

Hence the introduction of what may be the most condescending euphemism for the national government in its long history of condescending euphemizing: “federal family.”

This new phrase was supposed to, Power Play supposes, make anxious East Coasters feel the love of a caring federal government — tender squeeze from the Department of Homeland Security, a gentle embrace from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. The phrase was a centrally distributed talking point, appearing in op-eds, press releases and statements from across the administration.

So keep in mind that even if the storm is a category 1, you can expect a caring category 5 embrace from your federal family:

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If my “family” was $14 trillion in debt I’d put myself up for adoption. Oh, and the “federal family” member who would have normally caught the spelling error in “preperations” was out tending to family, so we can forgive that oversight.

This has helped soften the image of the federal government to such a degree that the IRS is now considering referring to themselves as America’s “little audit buddies.”

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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Posted in: Politics

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Comments


  1. #101
    On August 29th, 2011 at 11:33 pm, Hangfire said:

    Obama won’t even take care of his own Auntie; why should I believe he’ll take care of my family?

  2. #102
    On August 29th, 2011 at 11:42 pm, OK_Loyalist said:

    On August 29th, 2011 at 11:33 pm, Hangfire said:

    Don’t forget his uncle

    Fam…… :roll:

  3. #103
    On August 30th, 2011 at 1:50 am, Ray said:

    I went to see my congressman tonight and let him know what I think about all this family business. The Obots were there in force. Some had to be taken away in handcuffs. They seemed to be quite happy with that. Me too, idiots.

    He went through all the usual talking points. Then if you had written your questions on their little forms, his handlers decided which ones the congressman would read. I guess thay didn’t want to get into the eligibility issue?

    The evening was not a total loss. This delightful and very beautiful black lady came and sat next to me on the second isle. She introduces herself to me and was very engaging throughout the hour and a half.

    The mayor introduced distiguished members in the crowd before the congressman began to speak. Turns out this dish next to me is our mayor pro-tem. She clung to my arm constantly like we were the best of friends.

    I think I am starting to like this family thing. :)

  4. #104
    On August 30th, 2011 at 1:57 am, Ray said:

    I went to see my congressman tonight and let him know what I think about all this family business. The Obots were there in force. Some had to be taken away in handcuffs. They seemed to be quite happy with that. Me too, idiots.

    He went through all the usual talking points. Then if you had written your questions on their little forms, his handlers decided which ones the congressman would read. I guess thay didn’t want to get into the eligibility issue?

    The evening was not a total loss. This delightful and very beautiful black lady came and sat next to me on the second isle. She introduces herself to me and was very engaging throughout the hour and a half.

    The mayor introduced distiguished members in the crowd before the congressman began to speak. Turns out this dish next to me is our mayor pro-tem. She clung to my arm constantly like we were the best of friends.

    I think I am starting to like this family thing. :)

  5. #105
    On August 30th, 2011 at 2:00 am, Ray said:

    sorry for the double post, this site is acting up again.

  6. #106
    On August 30th, 2011 at 6:48 am, jlhudg23 said:

    Well, by calling it the “federal family”, they can now openly talk about “family values” without violating their own twisted sense of “values”.

  7. #107
    On August 30th, 2011 at 7:30 am, Ray said:

    Umm, that should be a they and on the second aisle, and I wasn’t even drinking last night. Trust Me. :)

    Where are those silent s’s when you need them?

  8. #108
    On August 30th, 2011 at 8:25 am, air to ground said:

    We’ll have a Motherland, with dependents, in a Fatherland-less house.

  9. #109
    On August 30th, 2011 at 8:31 am, PKAmmoTroop said:

    Since “Daddy” has spent all the federal family money on whores Wall Street bailouts, booze pandering to the lazy, and sluts Unions, I think it’s time for a good old Change you can Believe In Family Feud

  10. #110
    On August 30th, 2011 at 8:59 am, marco said:

    I’m reminded of the public persona of family man John (two Americas) Edwards.The sob story of his family was revealed to be a complete and utter hoax by the National Enquirer.It is time to shake the family tree and find the truth about Obama and his past. If the tabloids can offer Casey Anthony a million or two to find out how she murdered her baby, surely they can get the truth about Obama the same way.Since the Lamestream media won’t do their job, let the tabloids do it. That Hustler guy has a standing offer of a million to get dirt on Republicans. The story would make them millions. If Obama is proven to be legit, I will apologize and never voice another doubt. However, I have the same gut feeling that I had with Edwards.Know the truth and it will set you free!

  11. #111
    On August 30th, 2011 at 9:32 am, Dexter Alarius said:

    If the tabloids can offer Casey Anthony a million or two to find out how she murdered her baby, surely they can get the truth about Obama the same way.

    There’s gotta be a couple people, at least, in the Hawaii Dept of Health that actually know whether the Apr 27 BC is legit or not. Can they all be so deeply immersed in Kool Aid that they’d pass up 7-digits to spill the beans?

  12. #112
    On August 30th, 2011 at 9:36 am, spaceycakes said:

    well, I guess we all know who Cousin It and Uncle Fester are…

  13. #113
    On August 30th, 2011 at 9:41 am, tiredofit2012 said:

    Off topic:

    Group seeks to occupy wallstreet for an extended time:

    http://www.occupywallstreet.org

  14. #114
    On August 30th, 2011 at 10:28 am, islandman78 said:

    You’ve got to me kidding me! This is soooooooo lame. Federal family? Who came up with this lame euphemism for U.S. government? Perhaps the same person who has the “War on Terror” referred now as an “Overseas Contingency Operation”.

    I hate to use an Orwellian reference from “1984″ as it is a tired cliche but this is “NewSpeak”.

    LAME!

  15. #115
    On August 30th, 2011 at 10:36 am, hawkeye54 said:

    I hate to use an Orwellian reference from “1984″ as it is a tired cliche but this is “NewSpeak”.

    Orwell was quite the visionary. He tried to warn us.

  16. #116
    On August 30th, 2011 at 12:09 pm, max said:

    It’s preparations, not Preperations there family fed guy… dumbass…. who wrote that another affirmative action employee like Pres. Toonces?

  17. #117
    On August 30th, 2011 at 12:24 pm, Ilovemycountry said:

    Let me see if I have this straight: Doug Powers wrote an article about the term “federal family”?

    Man, this Powers guy is lame.

  18. #118
    On August 30th, 2011 at 12:31 pm, spaceycakes said:

    Man, this ilmc is dim.

  19. #119
    On August 30th, 2011 at 1:14 pm, ex-expat said:

    Why does this make me immediately think of Aldous Huxley?

  20. #120
    On August 30th, 2011 at 3:44 pm, FirstSkirt said:

    Hey, ILoveMyStinkinSelf….you are so dense you don’t even “get” it. You have set a new low that even I didn’t think was possible. Okay, I understand, you went to school with YOUR president.

  21. #121
    On August 30th, 2011 at 4:18 pm, BK said:

    The left has been trying to replace the family with government.

    Now they’re actually admitting it loudly.

  22. #122
    On August 30th, 2011 at 10:38 pm, Papa Louie said:

    If my “family” was $14 trillion in debt I’d put myself up for adoption.

    Doug, you’re my brother, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever.

  23. #123
    On August 31st, 2011 at 1:58 am, amyshulk said:

    They are just softening us up again so when the Fed union issue comes around front and center again, they can say “Those mean R’s want to hurt YOUR family!!!” Evil is as evil does.

  24. #124
    On August 31st, 2011 at 2:23 am, corkie said:

    On August 30th, 2011 at 12:24 pm, Ilovemycountry said:
    Let me see if I have this straight: Doug Powers wrote an article about the term “federal family”?
    Man, this Powers guy is lame.

    Ilovemycountry would be like the person that rats out Winston Smith to Big Brother.

  25. #125
    On August 31st, 2011 at 4:28 pm, FirstSkirt said:

    Papa Louie @123 – You’re scaring me with that Godfather reference – heh.

  26. #126
    On September 4th, 2011 at 3:02 pm, Christie said:

    I saw a picture of Barry manning a storm center’s phones somewhere along the eastern seaboard. He looked like he did in that picture of the group in the situation room during the OBL take-down: scared and about 5 years old, but hey, he was there…I think.
    Hitler’s propagandist film maker would do better…Riefenstahl, was that her name?

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