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**Written by Doug Powers

They’ve been defacing memorials, defecating on police cars, disrupted local businesses and encouraged the overthrow of capitalism, but there’s no faster way to make New York Mayor Bloomberg completely lose patience than by including on the list of demands… cigarettes:

An Occupy Wall Street protester who scaled a 70-foot art sculpture in Lower Manhattan early this morning demanded a cigarette, a jacket and Mayor Bloomberg’s resignation before the NYPD plucked him from the structure just after 9 a.m.
[...]
Spoelstra initially demanded that 15 percent of staffers on the FDNY and NYPD be bisexual, witnesses said, but then changed his mind and said he wanted 15 of the police officers on scene to leave.

I have a feeling we’re only one demand for salt and some potatoes fried in partially hydrogenated oil away from Bloomberg ordering the City wiped clean of OWS protesters once and for all. Not doing so would be shirking his highest duty.

The guy wasn’t given a cigarette or the Mayor’s resignation, but he will get a jacket, possibly of the “straight” variety:

Dylan Spoelstra, 24, from Toronto, Canada was brought to Bellevue Hospital for psychiatric evaluation after voluntarily surrendering to the NYPD. His antics ushered in day of several planned Occupy Wall Street marches and rallies which should take place in Manhattan this afternoon — even though Mayor Bloomberg yesterday warned that police are going to start cracking down on the permit-less events.

**Written by Doug Powers

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