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**Written by Doug Powers

I’m reserving any sense of closure on this craziness until convinced the 9th Circuit isn’t going to jump in at some point and not only reverse this decision, but make SeaWorld pay the orcas reparations.

From Fox News:

An effort to free whales from SeaWorld by claiming they were enslaved made a splash in the news but flopped in court Wednesday.

A federal judge in San Diego dismissed an unprecedented lawsuit seeking to grant constitutional protection against slavery to a group of orcas that perform at SeaWorld parks, saying the 13th amendment applies only to humans.

U.S. District Judge Jeffrey Miller stopped the case from proceeding two days after he became the first judge in U.S. history to listen to arguments in court over the possibility of granting constitutional rights for members of an animal species.

Here’s some news video. I predict that the final lawsuit revolving around this story has yet to be filed, and it will probably come from The Onion, which has a legitimate complaint for copyright infringement:

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe