Photoshop credit: VVM

The Right twittersphere has been buzzing for the past week about planned ambushes of CPAC 2012, the annual gathering of conservatives in D.C., by the Occupier mob. The conference kicks off today and every major Republican speaker has a giant target on his/her back — because every fame-seeker, troll, Michael Moore wannabe, and glitter-bomber will be looking to claim their 15 minutes of infamy.

Lachlan Markay at Heritage reported on the saboteurs’ schemes earlier this week:

During a Thursday meeting at McPherson Square, until Saturday the epicenter of the protests, Occupiers brainstormed tactics for shutting down or disrupting the conference, according to a source who was present at the meeting.

The protesters suggested pulling fire alarms in the hotel where the conference will take place, screaming “fire” during conference activities, “glitter-bombing” participants, cutting electrical power, and barricading entrances to the hotel, according to the source, who requested anonymity.

“Speakers will be physically assaulted, not just verbally confronted,” the source told Scribe in an email. Two Occupiers, who the source also identified as members of the New Black Panther Party, “said they would be disappointed if they didn’t get arrested and planned to ‘make it count.’”

The source quoted another protester as saying, “Mitt [Romney] has Secret Service now, but [Newt] Gingrich and [Andrew] Breitbart don’t,” seemingly suggesting that the latter two would not be as heavily guarded.

Protesters planned to conduct most of these activities on Saturday, the last day of the conference, so as not to overlap with the recently announced protests by labor groups on Thursday and Friday.

Labor Union Report has details of the Big Labor goons’ plans:

According to the AFL-CIO’s Washington DC Metro Council website, “Actions are currently being planned for noontime andafter work on Friday, February 10.”

Apparently, the unions plans to attempt to disrupt the conference with rats, puppets, and more:

WE’VE HEARD ENOUGH FROM THE 1%! Join the rally featuring tents, an inflatable fat cat, puppets, “candidate Walmart,” and more to LET THE VOICES OF THE 99% BE HEARD!

There is also a Facebook page for Occupy CPAC, posted by Change to Win staffer, Trina Tocco. It is important to note that Change to Win is the SEIU-led federation that broke away from the AFL-CIO in 2005—which means both union federations are involved in planning the attacks on CPAC.

Alas, for a mountain of family obligations and other reasons, I won’t be at CPAC this year. But I’ve been there and done that with the ambushers. And my advice is simple:

Mockery is the best medicine.

If they bring the glitter, you bring the silly string.

When they scream and spit, spray Lysol.

When they make a mess, bar the door and don’t let them leave ’til they clean it up.

Then soldier on!

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Flashback: The conservative bloggers who attended BlogCon in Denver earlier this year ably dispatched the Occupier mob with hilarious wit and political jujitsu.

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Commenter squeaker1: A “Super-Soaker” filled with lightly perfumed water would work well on smelly protesters.