Reminder: Global Warming Still Going to Cause Chocolate Shortage

By Doug Powers  •  February 11, 2012 02:31 PM

**Written by Doug Powers

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The “global warming will cause a chocolate shortage” scare tactic isn’t entirely new, but apparently spreading the rumor that a Whitman’s Sampler will cost as much as a Chevy Volt within a decade if developed countries don’t give trillions of dollars to the United Nations wasn’t causing sufficient truffle panic among the general public. Now, a slightly altered tactic: Do it Al Gore’s way or Valentine’s Day as we know it might cease to exist:

A new mini-report from the environmental group Climate Nexus points out that climate change is poised to wreck Valentine’s Day, or at least change it significantly, by threatening chocolate production.

That’s right. Global warming is very bad for chocolate.

As reported by The Times, research from the International Center for Tropical Agriculture found last year that as temperatures rise, the principal growing regions for cocoa could shrink, especially in Ghana and Ivory Coast, the sources of half the world’s supply. Production could fall off dramatically by 2050, making cocoa less available and more expensive.

Cupid’s lament.

The story doesn’t say this, but if you notice your chocolates starting to melt, take them to the Himalayas — there’s still plenty of ice there.

Isn’t chocolate high in calories and fat? If anything, global warming should be endorsed by the “Let’s Move” campaign and everybody should be encouraged to fire up their SUVs and gas powered leaf blowers to help win the battle against obesity.

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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Comments


  1. #1
    On February 11th, 2012 at 2:47 pm, thejim said:

    So far these frauds have appealed to the scientifically ignorant, historically challenged, emotionally unstable, and pseudo-scientists in need of grant money. The question is; who are they going after with this chocolate scare approach? Hallmark cards? Teleflora? Ah yes, the she’ll be hot in these pajamas crowd.

  2. #2
    On February 11th, 2012 at 3:23 pm, dan708 said:

    Whadda buncha bull-HOCKEY! Even if climate change made it difficult to grow cacao in its current locations, the change would also make it POSSIBLE to grow cacao elsewhere.

  3. #3
    On February 11th, 2012 at 3:27 pm, letget said:

    Production could fall off dramatically by 2050

    NOW how many of us will be around in 2050 to have this happen? I sure won’t but any of you here can have my portion if you are still around!
    But by then, bho and bore will have saved the world from warming I feel sure.
    L

  4. #4
    On February 11th, 2012 at 3:59 pm, Misscheryl said:

    Be afwaid, be bewy, bewy scawod.

  5. #5
    On February 11th, 2012 at 4:02 pm, gus said:

    The sky is falling.
    the sky IS FALLING.

    Follow the money.

  6. #6
    On February 11th, 2012 at 4:03 pm, Misscheryl said:

    Fear and guilt are amazing tools used to persuade and control others and people who are full of fear and guilt are susceptible to being controlled.

  7. #7
    On February 11th, 2012 at 4:10 pm, jamesgreenidge said:

    Kudos and courage for Georgia breaking ground for new nuclear plants in thirty years despite chick-little critics and fearmongers whose worst nightmare never came around. Quick – how many were injured from “worst case Disaster” TMI and Fukushima _together_? Take that sum and match it against the oil and gas causalities and property damage in the last 3o years…

    Thanks AtomicInsights.com

    James Greenidge
    Queens NY

  8. #8
    On February 11th, 2012 at 4:16 pm, sb36695 said:

    Isn’t chocolate bad for us? This should send tingles up the legs of progressives. With this logic, I guess you would buy an oceanfront house that will flood soon from “global warming”. I mean “global cooling”. Or is it “climate change”?

  9. #9
    On February 11th, 2012 at 4:28 pm, tre said:

    !!!NO CHOCOLATE!!!
    Al Gore, park your jet IMMEDIATELY!

  10. #10
    On February 11th, 2012 at 4:36 pm, stuckinIL4now said:

    A new mini-report from the environmental group Climate Nexus points out that climate change is poised to wreck Valentine’s Day, or at least change it significantly

    Wow, won’t that be a relief to a lotta men!

  11. #11
    On February 11th, 2012 at 5:01 pm, rambler said:

    Global Warming supporters are mentally deranged and full of hot air.

  12. #12
    On February 11th, 2012 at 5:07 pm, happyscrapper said:

    On February 11th, 2012 at 5:01 pm, rambler said:
    Global Warming supporters are mentally deranged and full of hot air.

    So they are the ones causing the global warming! I knew it!!

    I heard recently that the polar ice cap is not only NOT melting, but has increased in size. And the polar bear population has not decreased, but in fact has increased by 5%. But we mustn’t let facts get in the way of a good scare tactic!

  13. #13
    On February 11th, 2012 at 5:28 pm, AmericanGirl30 said:

    On February 11, 2012 at 02:23 PM, dan708 said:
    Whadda buncha bull-HOCKEY! Even if climate change made it difficult to grow cacao in its current locations, the change would also make it POSSIBLE to grow cacao elsewhere.

    Logic? We don’t need no stinkin’ logic!!

    Does anyone believe these charlatans anymore?? Their claims are increasingly hokey, far-fetched, and desperate sounding.

  14. #14
    On February 11th, 2012 at 5:55 pm, peteee said:

    i happen to love hot chocolate!

  15. #15
    On February 11th, 2012 at 6:06 pm, Paratus said:

    I just got the word I can’t use global climate warming cooling change as a reason not to buy the wife chocolate for Valentines day.
    A tip guys, don’t try it, it doesn’t work.

  16. #16
    On February 11th, 2012 at 6:33 pm, jsmiddleton4 said:

    Buy extra Girl Scout Cookies this year.

  17. #17
    On February 11th, 2012 at 6:43 pm, happyscrapper said:

    I don’t believe anyone when they threaten to cut off my chocolate. Ever since the commercial that said, “Cadbury Chocolate Eggs, once Easter is over, they will be gone”. You can now get them year-round. They lied. I won’t be fooled again.

  18. #18
    On February 11th, 2012 at 7:03 pm, ChapBix said:

    #5. On February 11th, 2012 at 4:02 pm, gus said:

    As always, and especially when the regressives are involved.

  19. #19
    On February 11th, 2012 at 7:07 pm, ChapBix said:

    #12. On February 11th, 2012 at 5:07 pm, happyscrapper said:

    But, but, but, it could happen, couldn’t it? Al Gore said it could. Surely he wouldn’t lie to us, would he?

    I think we all know the answer to that.

  20. #20
    On February 11th, 2012 at 7:39 pm, dan708 said:

    BTW, when is ilovemychocolatefix going to crawl out of his hole?

  21. #21
    On February 11th, 2012 at 8:08 pm, hawkeye54 said:

    Isn’t chocolate high in calories and fat?.

    Hey, dark chocolate is the way to go, good for your health in moderate consumption. I’ll leave it to y’all to consider what “moderate consumption” means.

  22. #22
    On February 11th, 2012 at 9:55 pm, bjc said:

    *Today I finally had a chance to catch “An Inconsistent Truth” by my pal Phil Valentine; It totally and without question debunks everything Spotted Owl Bore has ever said on the subject of man made global warming; It is only showing here in Tennessee, but plans are underway for expanded release; It is very well done, humorous as well, but Hollywood may not touch it because it contains the truth, kryptonite to those that still believe in the biggest hoax ever perpetrated on mankind!

  23. #23
    On February 11th, 2012 at 11:35 pm, Flyoverman said:

    Al Gore and the Sierra Club join forces to launch their new campaign:

    Save the Chocolate Mousse.

  24. #24
    On February 12th, 2012 at 7:50 am, single stack said:

    Since the cacao tree is a tropical plant wouldn’t warming increase its range thereby increasing the availability of chocolate?

  25. #25
    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:04 am, cabrerski said:

    Heard from Al Gore as he was recently shunned at a public appearance:

    “I’ll get you, my pretties, and your Hershey’s, too!

  26. #26
    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:13 am, AmericanGirl30 said:

    On February 11, 2012 at 05:33 PM, jsmiddleton4 said:
    Buy extra Girl Scout Cookies this year.

    Check out honestgirlscouts.com and speaknowgirlscouts.com and then see if you still want to buy them. :(

  27. #27
    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:15 am, happyscrapper said:

    I still get the creeps just thinking how close we came to having Gore as POTUS for 4 years! We really dodged a bullet that time! What would he have done after 9/11? Nothing. Zero, Zilch, Nada. The gag factor would have been unbelievable. At least Obama is half-way good looking, and not a pile of bloviating blubber.

  28. #28
    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:31 am, happyscrapper said:

    Rick Santorum is on Meet the Depressed right now. Wow!!! If you missed it, find it in repeat and DVR it. They repeat the show in the middle of the night. YOu need to hear how David Gregory tries to trip him up about Social issues. Santorum is fantastic and his answers are spot on. He makes Gregory look like a left-wing fool.

    Santorum is an EXCELLENT candidate!!!!

  29. #29
    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:35 am, dan708 said:

    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:15 am, happyscrapper said:

    I still get the creeps just thinking how close we came to having Gore as POTUS for 4 years! We really dodged a bullet that time! What would he have done after 9/11? Nothing. Zero, Zilch, Nada. The gag factor would have been unbelievable. At least Obama is half-way good looking, and not a pile of bloviating blubber.

    People still give me incredulous looks when I mention that I voted (reluctantly) for W in ’00 and ’04. I remind them of the two dolts he ran against!

  30. #30
    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:37 am, happyscrapper said:

    After watching Santorum’s appearance on Meet The Press, I am convinced that he is the best choice. One appearance, you say? Yes. Watch it. He is the person we are looking for. And the Tea Party would agree.

    The reason he hadn’t taken off before is because no one in the media paid any attention to him. He wasn’t given the chance to speak. That is over now, and he is out there.

    I have not been pumped or excited about any of our candidates until I heard Rick Santorum speak this a.m. I am telling you, he is the one and I am sending him another contribution today!

  31. #31
    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:39 am, happyscrapper said:

    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:35 am, dan708 said:

    Yup! If we think the GOP gives us bad candidates, look at what the Dems provided! Gore and John effing Kerry. Gag!!

  32. #32
    On February 12th, 2012 at 12:41 pm, rightisright said:

    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:13 am, AmericanGirl30 said:

    Thanks for the links, now I have another reason for not buying and eating those GS cookies that aren’t very good for one’s health.

  33. #33
    On February 12th, 2012 at 12:43 pm, Blackstone said:

    On February 12th, 2012 at 10:15 am, happyscrapper said:

    I still get the creeps just thinking how close we came to having Gore as POTUS for 4 years! We really dodged a bullet that time! What would he have done after 9/11? Nothing. Zero, Zilch, Nada.

    Actually I’m sure he would have sent troops to Afghanistan and probably even Iraq. But he would have put them under UN command.

  34. #34
    On February 13th, 2012 at 12:12 pm, spaceycakes said:

    “Panic faster, people!”

    snort! Doug, you crack me up.

  35. #35
    On February 14th, 2012 at 9:15 am, Teddy Kennedy said:

    Errah, I was in a rental car last week and NPR/Diane Reim was on talking about chocolate with a Mars Co chocolate industry shill and an US AG Department guy. This is what the conversation devolved to regrading a discussion on Man Made Global warming and how we are affecting the cocao trees since the 1950s in Africa. The guests seemed happy to just talk about cocao trees and farming and all the good it does in the third world but this is where she led them to. Who comes up with the weeks talking points for these Libtards, Geo Soros? Are they beamed directly to their tinfoil hats or supplemented in print and fax? I couldn’t turn the radio to another station fast enough.

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