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Reminder: Global Warming Still Going to Cause Chocolate Shortage

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By Doug Powers  •  February 11, 2012 02:31 PM

**Written by Doug Powers

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The “global warming will cause a chocolate shortage” scare tactic isn’t entirely new, but apparently spreading the rumor that a Whitman’s Sampler will cost as much as a Chevy Volt within a decade if developed countries don’t give trillions of dollars to the United Nations wasn’t causing sufficient truffle panic among the general public. Now, a slightly altered tactic: Do it Al Gore’s way or Valentine’s Day as we know it might cease to exist:

A new mini-report from the environmental group Climate Nexus points out that climate change is poised to wreck Valentine’s Day, or at least change it significantly, by threatening chocolate production.

That’s right. Global warming is very bad for chocolate.

As reported by The Times, research from the International Center for Tropical Agriculture found last year that as temperatures rise, the principal growing regions for cocoa could shrink, especially in Ghana and Ivory Coast, the sources of half the world’s supply. Production could fall off dramatically by 2050, making cocoa less available and more expensive.

Cupid’s lament.

The story doesn’t say this, but if you notice your chocolates starting to melt, take them to the Himalayas — there’s still plenty of ice there.

Isn’t chocolate high in calories and fat? If anything, global warming should be endorsed by the “Let’s Move” campaign and everybody should be encouraged to fire up their SUVs and gas powered leaf blowers to help win the battle against obesity.

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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Categories: Enviro-nitwits, global warming, Hollyweird

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