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EPA solicits 6-word essay submissions celebrating Earth and EPA, not necessarily in that order

By Doug Powers  •  April 18, 2012 10:05 PM

**Written by Doug Powers


Earth Day is just around the corner, and the EPA needs your literary assistance in order to properly observe the occasion:

The Environmental Protection Agency is asking denizens of Planet Earth to submit six-word essays about said planet for a taxpayer-funded project aiming to “celebrate the environment.”

As promoted on the EPA’s blog earlier this month, the “Six Words for the Planet” project is accepting submissions from “citizens of any country, living anywhere.” Submissions that meet the list of requirements (e.g. no “hatred”) will be posted on the EPA’s website and shared via the agency’s social media channels.

You can read a few six-word essays written by EPA staff here. And to think Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann believe we can do without these people!

Because a half dozen carelessly strung together words can make a difference, in the spirit of contributing to the goal of a cleaner planet, below are a couple of my submissions:

–Idling buses constrained. Happy trees rejoice.

–Obama inauguration litter made Indian weep.

–Environment cleaner. Thanks, Gore limo convoy.

–Fifty dollar bulb. Polar bears saved.

–Apologies for fracking you, Mother Nature.

Give it a try, it’s fun — sort of like Haiku for tree-hugging bureaucratic over-regulators.

I heard that Vice President Biden might pen a submission. To help him out, I’ve taken the liberty of writing his six-word essay for him: “Keep the planet clean, enjoy life more.”

Feel free to use it, Joe.

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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