**Written by Doug Powers
It’s game day — Super Sunday, which if you’re not careful can morph into not-so-super-Monday. I’ll be having a bit of company tonight here at the compound and trying a various assortment of appetizers and drinks, not necessarily in that order. The only rule is that anybody who uses the term “Harbowl” gets kicked out.
As for the game, I don’t really have a favorite. I’m almost always non-partisan on Super Sunday — it’s one of the perks of being a Lions fan.
The floor is open for your predictions. Current Vegas odds put Baltimore at +3.5 over San Francisco. If you put down some cash to bet that President Obama would commemorate the big game by Tweeting a picture of himself, collect your winnings. Also, if you bet that CBS wouldn’t air an interview with Obama during the pre-game show, you lost.
After the game is over and during the off season, having solved all other problems, some members in Congress — in an attempt to get even for always being picked last in gym class when teams were being formed — will conduct hearings about football. There’s obviously been rampant substance abuse and massive head trauma, so now the goal of Congress will be to find out if the same thing has been happening in the NFL:
The National Football League and its players could have a busy off-season on Capitol Hill once the clock runs out on this weekend’s Super Bowl extravaganza.
Members of Congress have questioned the league’s lack of testing for performance-enhancing drugs, and have voiced concerns about the head injuries that players suffer on the field.
The scrutiny has picked up in recent days with threats of congressional hearings and a headline-grabbing remark from President Obama about injuries in the game.
The NFL is well prepared for whatever comes its way. The league has amassed a war chest to build alliances with lawmakers, and fields a team of lobbyists who know the Washington playbook.
If anybody should be forced to undergo testing for performance enhancing (or in this case, performance decreasing) substances and massive head trauma, it’s the DC clown parade.
As far as so many politicians’ sudden interest in getting involved in the NFL, follow the money.
Here are a few other items for possible discussion:
–Bacon chocolate chip cookies?. Must… try…
–Protip: Don’t fire somebody and leave them in charge of the corporate Twitter account.
–High school student suspended for having a picture of a gun.
–If you disagree with Jim Carrey, your life isn’t worth protecting.
–The US federal income tax turns 100 today. Ever since the 16th Amendment, all the creative energy that would have gone into curing disease, designing grand buildings, creating art and music and exploring the farthest reaches of the universe now goes into trying to figure out ways to write off our lawnmowers as a dependents.
**Written by Doug Powers
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