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**Written by Doug Powers

Today is John Kerry’s first official day at the State Department, and this morning he spoke to department employees at length, standing the entire time. It’s uncomfortable for Kerry to sit because his rear end is still sore from mother of all butt kissings he endured at his Senate confirmation hearing.

From the Washington Post:

Secretary John Kerry greeted his new colleagues at the State Department on Monday with a nod to his female predecessors.

“Here’s the big question before the country and the world and the State Department: After the last eight years, can a man actually run the State Department?” Kerry quipped.
Kerry is taking the reins from Hillary Clinton. Clinton succeeded Condoleezza Rice, who served as secretary of state from 2005-2009.

“As the saying goes, I have big heels to fill,” Kerry said.

There could have been no more effective a first-day motivator for the team at State than unwanted mental images of John Kerry in pantsuitian drag. #TeamBuilder

It was also announced that any Tweets personally written by Kerry on the State Department Twitter account will be followed by the initials JK (or “just kidding” to those familiar with texting vernacular). There were more appropriate acronyms to accompany Kerry’s Tweets, but unfortunately those initials were already taken by State Department employees William Tecumseh Furman, Christopher Yancy Adams and Samuel Owen Lambert.

**Written by Doug Powers

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